|
 Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion
Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
|
 The Great Other or The Quest for the Happy Goodnes 
#484202 - 12/08/01 03:39 PM (22 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Yesterday, a friend and I wandered into the wilderness with eight grams of psychadelic mushrooms. We split the batch equally and dosed at a picnic bench and began a journey that was as spiritual as it was physical.
As the mushrooms grabbed hold of my psyche, I realized that it would be difficult to keep my mind's thoughts away from a personal crossroads that I find myself at in life. My goals are unlcear once again and the persuit of happiness seems unlikely to fruit in my current surroundings. I have been contemplating departure from my home in order to find whatever it may be that I need in order to achieve anything.
As we walked and looked at the visually stunning magesty that the natural world provides, my thoughts became focused on my dissatisfaction with life. There seems to be a state of mind that I aspire to acquire: a feeling of contentment, pride, and joy. It seems that no matter what road I pick, the mental state alludes me for the most part. There are glimpses of this state of mind, but they occur mostly in retrospect. While in the moment, I tend to not realize it fully, but when looking back on the moment, my brain adds a sense of nostalgia to it and I long for that state.
I have very few moments that I can say I whole-heartedly appreciated my surroundings and self. And through life, that is all I hope to do. While working to gain that sense of happiness, I am not happy. By casting away what I believe to be the means to acheiving happiness, I am equally unhappy. And when I am feeling happy, there is still an element of emptiness.
And I think it is like that for everyone. There are glimpses of joy sparcely placed along the avenue of despair.
Christmas time is supposed to be the time in which we experience the most joy. We hang our Christmas lights and send out our cards. Many would call these actions fake and empty, but I think that they are more of a beacon: a ritualistic attempt to conjure that elusive state of mind. So, in them I don't see a falsehood, but rather a representation of a longing. As if we say to ourselves that if we add the proper ingredients to the bowl, fulfillment will find its way into our lives.
My mood, yesterday, slipped from good to bad many times. At one moment I would feel a sense of fulfilled contentment and joy and the next, I would be longing for it once again. Each seemed as though it would last forever, while I was there and I could not find any actions or thoughts that led to transition from one to the other.
I tend to look to the future to reveal happiness to me, than to take action in order to acheive it in the present. I fear that this is a dangerous behavior because the future has yeilded little fruit in the past.
I am not sure where I am going with this. Call it a trip evaluation.
Thanks for reading.
--------------------
"America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat
“Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson
The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance.
The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
|
Lallafa
p_g monocle
Registered: 04/13/01
Posts: 2,598
Loc: underbelly
|
 Re: The Great Other or The Quest for the Happy Goodnes [Re: Senor_Doobie]
#484212 - 12/08/01 03:58 PM (22 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
holy shit- thats awesome
--------------------
my tax dollars going to more hits of acid for charles manson
|
cantara
member
Registered: 08/06/01
Posts: 133
Loc: Beyond the sun
|
Re: The Great Other or The Quest for the Happy Goodnes [Re: Senor_Doobie]
#484495 - 12/08/01 09:22 PM (22 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
SD
That post spoke to me, as if from my own pen (er, keyboard). I have experienced similar things in my journies. I find that in life I continually find myself, as if in a trance or on autopilot, doing meaningless things that I don't particularly want to do or particularly enjoy doing. When I find this, I always ask, What do you really enjoy doing, what would you really rather be doing right now - and then I try to bring that about. This fast-food, media culture has a billion distractions to keep us, almost by conspiracy, from doing those things that would truly make us happy. Don't let it happen. Find those things that mean most to you, that make you happiest, and immerse yourself in them as often and as deeply as you can. Life is for the living.
--------------------
---- Cantara
[green]Shroomism, please don't delete this thread![/green]
|
 the universe
Harbinger ofEldritch Despair
Registered: 03/10/99
Posts: 1,456
Loc: Under your bed
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
|
 Re: The Great Other or The Quest for the Happy Goodnes [Re: cantara]
#485343 - 12/09/01 07:16 PM (22 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Ahhh christmas, the time of year when the emptiness we all feel due to our pathetic little lives causing us to long for the love of our fellow man is so pathetically obvious that it just makes me want to drown myself in material things untill I die comfortable and mindnumbingly entertained. I'm getting a gameboy this year. Advance even.
--------------------
"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world."- J. D. Salinger
|
Ulysees
Power of Lard
Registered: 10/06/01
Posts: 5,060
|
Re: The Great Other or The Quest for the Happy Goodnes [Re: the universe]
#485526 - 12/09/01 10:13 PM (22 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
heh heh... I bought an X-Box universe. Why the fuck not? (I don't even give a shit about the dastardly Bill Gates getting my money... He gave me Halo. I like killing.)
I have become comfortably numb. (well, sometimes.)
--------------------
|
Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion
Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
|
Re: The Great Other or The Quest for the Happy Goodnes [Re: Senor_Doobie]
#1134392 - 12/12/02 05:01 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
One year later and a lot better off. I am graduating in a couple of weeks and may even have a job. I have grown a lot over the past year and everything seems to be coming together.
I still have not found any real sense of happiness, but I have gained a lot more respect for myself and my abliities. This is a good thing as long as it doesn't increase my ego too much. Self esteem has long been an issue for me, but it is getting better every day.
Anyway, I just thought I'd bump this because I like it.
--------------------
"America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat
“Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson
The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance.
The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
|
Anonymous
|
Re: The Great Other or The Quest for the Happy Goodnes [Re: Senor_Doobie]
#1136185 - 12/12/02 04:06 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
And I'm replying because I like it and you.
Good thoughts. Just don't hump my leg. (inside joke)
Cheers,
|
upupup
guardian
Registered: 08/25/01
Posts: 889
Loc: George "I love Hitler" Bu...
Last seen: 20 years, 1 month
|
Re: The Great Other or The Quest for the Happy Goodnes [Re: Senor_Doobie]
#1136213 - 12/12/02 04:12 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I hope I am not mixing you up with someone else but I seem to have seen you around the political board before and I must say you have indeed changed....as have we all in a year....
Thanks for your post.....it gives me hope in a weird way.....
--------------------
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
|
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Edit 
Reply 
1 2 all )
0xYg3n
Swami
DoctorJ
puzzlerok
franco_on
MarkostheGnostic
WaveRider