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I hate my father
    #11067985 -

He was always cool with my brother but he never paid much attention to me. He sent me a birthday email, I havn't heard from him since christmas, and all he says is "I miss you and I love you." Thats all I ever get its so ridiculous. He hangs out with my sister too but pretty much ignores me. Whatever I'm over it I'll just be a better father than he could ever amount to.

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Re: I hate my father [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11068064 -

i hate my father too.
for different reasons tho.

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Re: I hate my father [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11068381 -

...

Edited by WhiskeyClone (09/16/09 06:47 PM)

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Re: I hate my father [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11069668 -

My dad used to come home from work and vent his unadulterated rage at my brothers and I until he was too tired to yell any longer. :laugh:

Your situation could be much worse. (As could mine.)

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Re: I hate my father [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11073989 -

I think sometimes we set the bar too high for parents.  We expect them to be infallible.  The truth is they are just people with their own shortcomings and problems.  If you want to have a stronger relationship with your father then make the effort yourself.

My brother was always much closer to my dad until I got a job with him.  We became much closer over the past couple years.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life

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Re: I hate my father [Re: PowerTrip]
    #11074004 -

My dad was a real dick to me, my mom and everyone else but.... Hate will just eat you up inside and does nothing to him.
Best to just get over it and move on with your own life and dwell on the good stuff vs the bad.

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Re: I hate my father [Re: Cameron]
    #11074964 -

Sounds like the ball is in your court. You need to make the next move if you are serious about progressing your relationship.


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Where ever there are three people, one of them will be my teacher.

Everything I say is a lie. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. ad infinitum

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Re: I hate my father [Re: Cameron]
    #11074968 -

Double post :blush:


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Where ever there are three people, one of them will be my teacher.

Everything I say is a lie. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. Except for that. ad infinitum

Edited by papatong1 (09/17/09 07:00 AM)

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Re: I hate my father [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11076853 -

I agree with papatong.
I've come to realize that relationships are two-way streets. Many of the relationships I'm not happy with (father, brothers, friends, women) are not just the fault of the other person. Both sides have to make an effort, and sometimes both want to, but feel that the other won't or doesn't care. Focus on what you can do.

For instance, during my high school and university years, I grew further and further apart from my brothers. One just started university on the other side of the country. I'm hoping that when he's home for holidays and when he graduates he will value our time together and together we can grow closer. I've started talking to my other brother, and inviting him out with my friends. All of this is an effort to interact with him more and develop a brotherly friendship.

With parents it's so much harder though, everyone has such a complicated history that affects how they talk and think about them. You should try and hang out with your dad once or twice and make an effort to change the flavour of your present relationship. Me and My dad live together, but rarely talk. There's so much unsaid between us.

Things take time.


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Re: I hate my father [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11094467 -

Anonymous said:
He was always cool with my brother but he never paid much attention to me. He sent me a birthday email, I havn't heard from him since christmas, and all he says is "I miss you and I love you." Thats all I ever get its so ridiculous. He hangs out with my sister too but pretty much ignores me. Whatever I'm over it I'll just be a better father than he could ever amount to.



clearly you are not over it.  don't lie to yourself.  just because you want to be over it does not mean you are, and lying to yourself hampers productive growth

Edited by NastyDHL (09/20/09 02:21 PM)

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Re: I hate my father [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11094867 -

Move on. Hating is a waste of personal power. Just drop it. Here is a link to something that can help do this.
www.sedona.com
Reading the book is sufficient.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: I hate my father [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #11097496 -

Parents are douches.

That is all.

:rockon:

This is who I am, isnt it?


--------------------
if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...


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Re: I hate my father [Re: PowerTrip]
    #11097982 -

PowerTrip said:
I think sometimes we set the bar too high for parents.  We expect them to be infallible.  The truth is they are just people with their own shortcomings and problems.  If you want to have a stronger relationship with your father then make the effort yourself.


i agree with what you said there.

There is good in everyone but you must bring a full effort from your side to evoke it even in the grimmest and complicated of specimens.


--------------------
-bh
groovetown:
www.myspace.com/margolohband
www.trueworldhistory.info

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