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Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys.
    #9889569 -

Who else is like this? Or in the reverse?

I have no problem hanging out with any kind of lesbian. She could be manly, womanly, tranny, I don't care. A gaggle of women who like women would be fine by me. It's just that when I'm around gay guys I can't help but feel self conscious. I don't hate them, but I just find it awkward to hang out with men who like men.

The problem is that I am all about live and let live and I will defend the gays rights to be gay. People would not get that impression if they knew how I felt about hanging out with them.

Let's be honest here. Is it really that wrong? What happened to ideas such as "I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to death your right to say it?" Why can't that apply to homosexuality? Am I really such a bad person if I feel uncomfortable around homosexuals EVEN IF I fucking accept their homosexuality and right to be homosexual 100% ?

Man, this is such a paradox. I don't hate the gays. I'm not one of those guys who jokes around like "If I hang out with a gay dude, he better not try to stick anything up my ass!" I just feel more comfortable around homosexual women than homosexual men. Much more comfortable.

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: seek]
    #9889624 -

no, it's not really "so bad" since you're not causing any problems over it.  you're not instigating fights or slinging insults or trying to enforce your sexuality on them or anything like that.

i can understand being somewhat uncomfortable around an alien group of people.  but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to remedy that.  really it's all in the head.  the concern of sexuality is practically moot when it comes to everyday interactions unless you're directly hitting on someone.  how does it matter, really?  just mentally attempt to rise above the discomfort.  logic yourself into realizing there's no real reason why that one particular demographic should make you more uncomfortable than anyone else.


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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #9889687 -

tiny_rabid_birds said:
no, it's not really "so bad" since you're not causing any problems over it.  you're not instigating fights or slinging insults or trying to enforce your sexuality on them or anything like that.

i can understand being somewhat uncomfortable around an alien group of people.  but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to remedy that.  really it's all in the head.  the concern of sexuality is practically moot when it comes to everyday interactions unless you're directly hitting on someone.  how does it matter, really?  just mentally attempt to rise above the discomfort.  logic yourself into realizing there's no real reason why that one particular demographic should make you more uncomfortable than anyone else.


I know it's all in my head. See, I just feel guilty about it, as if I should be more progressive and accepting.

Sure, a lot of homosexual men are quite swell, but I just can't see myself in that community. Do you know what I mean? Everyone has a strong mental image of themselves and who their peers are, and gay men don't fit in my mental image. If I do "get over this," I'd prefer to actually destroy the mental block that's preventing me from associating with them instead of pretending to be all cool with a group of people that I'm not actually cool with deep down inside.

Let me also state that if it's down to casual interactions, you would not notice this at all. I don't squirm at the sight of gay guys or anything like that. I'm just saying that hanging out with them and being friends just isn't something I do.

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: seek] * 1
    #9889707 -

seek said:
Who else is like this? Or in the reverse?

I have no problem hanging out with any kind of lesbian. She could be manly, womanly, tranny, I don't care.


tranny isnt quite a woman


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California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: seek] * 1
    #9889714 -

As someone who lived with a gay guy a year or so, and met all of his gay friends, you would not even know some of them are gay.

The flaming gay guys are not a huge proportion of the gay population, they're just highly vocal and visible.

I assume these are the guys you say you don't want to hang out with, and I don't blame you.

But seriously, most of them are cool.  I'm the straightest person ever and never had one make an advance on me at all.  His friend Rico used to ask me if I was hung when he was really drunk, but he was just obnoxious and retarded.


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After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #9889747 -

Madtowntripper said:
As someone who lived with a gay guy a year or so, and met all of his gay friends, you would not even know some of them are gay.

The flaming gay guys are not a huge proportion of the gay population, they're just highly vocal and visible.

I assume these are the guys you say you don't want to hang out with, and I don't blame you.

But seriously, most of them are cool.  I'm the straightest person ever and never had one make an advance on me at all.  His friend Rico used to ask me if I was hung when he was really drunk, but he was just obnoxious and retarded.


Actually, the flamers are exactly who I'm referring to. How can you possibly blame me for not wanting to be seen with a man who behaves like that? People who don't like flamers != People who don't like gays, period. I have probably been around many closeted gays, who the fuck knows. But when I was in college, there was this scattering of extremely, unbelievably, absurdly effeminate men and it was so weird when they'd come into the same room and do that limp wrist thing and then start talking in high-pitched voices to the girls. I wanted to laugh at them, but I didn't want to be that guy.

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: seek] * 1
    #9889775 -

That's what I'm saying, you're totally in the right if you don't to associate with that crowd.

They're ridiculously annoying.


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #9889780 -

I like gay guys.  Alot of the ones I have met are so genuine and sweet.  Lighten up a little bit and you may make some friends.

I guess unlike madtowntripper I don't consider myself the "straightest guy ever" (hah) and although I mostly date girls I don't feel my sexuality is that rigid.


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"I have never freed myself from the suspicion that there is something very odd about this mission."

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: collinZzZz]
    #9889788 -

That's not my line, that's from my gay roommate.

He used to introduce me to his friends as, "The straighest guy ever", apparently because I watched football, was completely clueless about fashion, and drank beer instead of wine.


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #9889840 -

Thats funny.  One of my gay friends LOVES football.  Says it's hot.


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"I have never freed myself from the suspicion that there is something very odd about this mission."

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: seek]
    #9889870 -

seek said:
Actually, the flamers are exactly who I'm referring to. How can you possibly blame me for not wanting to be seen with a man who behaves like that?


I think that your fear of the "flaming gay guys"
is a fear that someone may think that you are gay
because you are hanging with the flamer

I have had a few flaming gay friends.
Never felt threatened or embarrassed to be around them


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: seek]
    #9889961 -

Lesbians are interesting.

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: seek]
    #9890017 -

I feel exactly the same.

But I don't really like boys, and never had a dad so it's kinda explainable. : )

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: Kukaracha]
    #9890062 -

Quote:
Kukaracha said:
But I don't really like boys, and never had a dad so it's kinda explainable. : )


I don't get it.

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: Kukaracha]
    #9890067 -

Kukaracha said:
I feel exactly the same.

But I don't really like boys, and never had a dad so it's kinda explainable. : )


Wow, I grew up fatherless as well. Couldn't care less about that guy, I never knew him, never seen him, so who cares. Am I right?

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: DimensionX]
    #9890095 -

I never had much physical affectionate contact with men, so I don't like contact with men. I hate the idea of sex between men. I can't stand the idea of a man fantasizing of me.

As a child, I was given many examples of strong and kind women. But guys were bastards and cowards (well, not all of them, sure).

So, somewhere in my brain still lies the almost unerasable idea that men are no good.

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: Kukaracha] * 1
    #9890101 -

you sound like a male feminist.


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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: seek]
    #9890103 -

You're right!
I think you feel the same way I do.

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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: seek]
    #9890377 -

One of my best friends from elementary school turned out to be gay later on in his life. So I can see where your coming from by being uncomfortable. I have some lesbian friends that are awesome, and I think nothing of it, to some degree I can say it's pretty sweet, but whenever I communicate with my gay guy friend, I can't help but think what he thinks about me as we are communicating.

Sometimes I ask myself, was it because of me that he turned out to be gay?

No..

It was just the environment he grew up in, his family, even genetics.
It is still hard to believe that he ended up that way, even though
the evidence was there all a long.

There is some self-conscious part of me that is activated whenever I communicate with him, and because he is gay, I feel like maybe that self-conscious energy is there, because it is his own..

I just don't associate myself with gay guys much, so my encounters with them can have strange vibes. I don't think I am going to search for gay guys to hang out with to try an eliminate the problem, but that doesn't mean If I encounter one I will avoid them.

As long as you have no problem with their choice, and don't hate them for it, it's perfectly natural to feel awkward around them. At least your making an effort to break the taboo our society has turned it into.



O well im glad im not gay cuz i love the pussy :awebig:

and i think gays are missing out.


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Re: Strangely enough, I am half homophobic. No problem with lesbians, but uncomfortable with gay guys. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9890436 -

Prisoner#1 said:
seek said:
Who else is like this? Or in the reverse?

I have no problem hanging out with any kind of lesbian. She could be manly, womanly, tranny, I don't care.


tranny isnt quite a woman


Unless she's a transvestite :shrug:.


--------------------
"I only ever hope to reach equilibrium, in Nature's matrix, in line with the meridian" ~ Jehst

:sun: "...and I know that I have to keep breathing, as tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide will bring?" :sun:

Free Spore Ring Europe
Send any spare spore prints you might have and help the distribution :grin:

Open Source. Freedom.  GNU/Linux

Addicting is not a word.

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