Auto-SummaryThe author of this post shares a personal anecdote about confronting a friend, Kristen, about her unreliable behavior, and how she became defensive when called out on it. The author then draws a parallel with another friend, Brian, who was struggling with a similar issue of denial and rationalization in a past situation. Through their conversation, the author helps Brian come to terms with his feelings and realize that his ego was at the root of his problems. The author then reflects on the power of words and tone in communication, suggesting that the way we express ourselves can either soothe or threaten the ego, leading to acceptance or denial. They propose that messages are inherent to our thoughts, but our words and tone can either convey those messages effectively or hinder them, and that the ego may even block out telepathic communication to protect itself from growth and evolution.
The other night a "friend", Kristen got drunk (as usual) and stayed the night at the same house as me. In the morning she said something like, "Damn what time is it? 11? I was supposed to give Alyssa a ride to work this morning at 10:30 so good thing she got a ride home from her brother last night."
I said, "Good thing your roommate recognizes that you are unreliable)
She got pissed.
I talked about this with another friend, Brian, who I had just spent 2 hours with talking online about the situation he put himself in where his best friend betrayed his trust by trying to get with the girl Brian liked.
I tried to get Brian to confront his denials, his rationalizations and his desires that were formed out of fantasy and unrealistic hopes, he got pissed at first and after I forced him to admit to me that the matter obviously still bothered him, he came to terms with himself and admitted that it still bothered him. After some badgering and some more denying and avoiding on his part, he finally admitted that it bothered him but he denied that it bothered to him earlier because he felt immature and he didn't want it to bother him.
After that acceptance, I talked to him for a while giving him a different perspective on his situation and contributing additional insights. He responded to the different ideas and questions I stated very receptively. He admitted that in all honest he would like if someone talked shit about his former best friend. He came to terms with alot of problems that his ego created for him but he still believed that these two were the ones primarily at fault (you may assume this too, but you don't know the complete context of the situation, so trust the stated opinion(s) please).
I told him the Kristen story and he said he thought I was pushing her buttons. I asked if "pushing one's buttons" was not just a euphemism for confronting one's denials out loud. He agreed but thought that the words and tone are what pissed her off, not the message. I agreed but said that the message could have been entirely the same, but had I used more compassionate words than I would have soothed her ego into a more accepting and honest state. After I told him, "selfishness is cultivated by denials
beasue denial is just a reflection of what you want and what you dont want
and expectating others to live up to your denials is a terrible thing", he had a realization that I evoked because I caused him to relate his situation to Kristen's, those three quoted lines above, and because I helped shape his ego into a more receptive and honestly accepting state.
I thought about the possibility that messages come from within the mind, but we send them through symbols known to us as words. We all have different interpretations and associations with these symbols but the message is without interpretation, the interpretation is created through the use of words. We can use certain words to more accurately and honestly reflect and communicate our message, or we can also use words egotistically; inhibiting our honesty, genuineness, and effectiveness of the message.
The listening mind receives the message and depending on its forcefulness (determined by word choice) can either accept, disagree, or egotistically deny the message. If I had said the message in a 'nicer' way, Kristen would've realized that she should treat her roommate better and that she was undependable and selfish. However, given the way I delivered my message, Kristen avoided the information concerning her roommate and only paid attention to the attitude and it's sender, that she perceived.
By using more compassionate words I can sooth her ego into a more accepting and receptive state. Her ego possibly lets its guard down once it realizes it is no longer being threatened. Associations with word choice and tone may threaten the ego and its self imposed beliefs, or it may bypass this filter possibly meant to protect humans from being exposed as socially inferior or to protect the ego's way of life it has created. Perhaps the ego has evolved to protect its creations.
Anyway, the idea that this message (a pure thought, devoid of interpretation through symbols/words) is transferrable through means other than the 5 senses does not seem unlikely to me. The ego could protect itself by blocking out telepathic communication, but ego's could directly send messages to other ego's, which the messages could then be interpreted back to signals. The purpose for blocking out telepathic communication could be to let the ego's evolution and development continue, so the ego could adapt to its own environment and create other filters or defensive mechanisms that it needs to be more successful. Once the ego evolves to the point where it no longer needs to evolve further, or gets to the point where it realizes it no longer needs to evolve further, then telepathic communication may be accessible.
Messages are within naturally, words are developed and learned as ways to deliver messages through the only means we know how.
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