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Offlinexmercury
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Registered: 04/22/04
Posts: 164
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Acceptable greiving period after breakup?
    #3148672 - 09/17/04 04:32 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

What is it for a like 10 month relationship.

My roommate broke up with his girl friend ~3 weeks ago.  Now I give it to him this was his first serious relationship, but god damn he still is greiving hard core.  He hasnt slept in his bed since the break up.  So that means living his whole day in the god damn living room.  Also for a week of this his dad came down and lived with us I guess to help console us, his dad is cool but jesus a week?  We havent gone grocery shopping in fuckin over 2 weeks this whole time we have been basicly out of food. It fuckin sucks.  Not to mention I dont see how in the world he didnt see it comming.  Every time she came over all they did was fight.

Now you also have to understand my situation.  My roommate is a mooch, he cant help it he just is.  For this reason I am not about to go grocery shopping without him because I know what will happen.  I will go then he will start asking if he can have some and that he will hit me back up.  Me being the type of person that I am, I dont like confrontations, will say sure knowing for a fact I will prolly never be compensated.  I am just trying to make a fuckin stand by not going.  Also we have no more clean dishes and I am fuckin doin em because I did it last time and I will not do it again. UGHHHHHHH that feels so much better.

So seriously is this too long?  Should I say something to him about the fact that it is over and he needs to face it.  I just cant stand this.  Next year no way in hell I am living with just 1 other roommate.

If this needs to be moved to OTD go for it, although I am looking for a serious answer or atleast someone who can relate with me.

:bitch:


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-merc


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InvisibleGeordi_La_Forge
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: xmercury]
    #3148693 - 09/17/04 04:37 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Hmmm...I think I can field this one

give him time...he'll get over it when he gets over it....the best thing you can do is try to get him out and doing things

preferrably new things...meet new people...and exercise...I can't stress that enough


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Invisiblevivid
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: xmercury]
    #3148694 - 09/17/04 04:37 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Tell him to get over himself. He can grieve but he doesn't need to be an invalid. If the thing was real ugly, then maybe I can understand being upset and shit for a few days, maybe a couple weeks at most, but being a puddle of mush for 3 weeks isn't going to help him and its obviously hindering the living situation.
I'd be patient, but let him know that although its ok to be sad, he needs to start getting his responsibilities in order.


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OfflineBigNerd
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: xmercury]
    #3148697 - 09/17/04 04:38 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

You should kick him in the ass and tell him to get 'er done. Life don't stop because your girlfriend leaves you. Sounds like this boy needs a bit of tough love. And yes, I think the acceptable grieving period for a 10 month relationship has passed.

BN


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OfflinePhishgrrl
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: xmercury]
    #3148704 - 09/17/04 04:40 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Sounds like he needs a bit of a kick in the pants. A gently one. Like; "Man, I'm sick of your depression. You should get up and do the dishes and go grocery shopping. That bitch isn't worth it, you know you deserve to be happy so we're going shopping right now, come on!" I bet he'd appreciate it. :smile:  Good luck!


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Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...



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InvisibleGeordi_La_Forge
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3148714 - 09/17/04 04:42 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

telling someone to get over it doesn't work....you get over it on your own...people telling you to get over it just pisses you off....


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OfflineRandolph_Carter
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Geordi_La_Forge]
    #3148734 - 09/17/04 04:49 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I read somehweres in some psychobabbly shiot that the time it takes (in general) to get over someone is about half the time you were in a relationship with her/him.

Altho this time period may be off, depending on when exaclty you stopped giving a fuck.


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"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Geordi_La_Forge]
    #3148736 - 09/17/04 04:50 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Geordi_La_Forge said:
telling someone to get over it doesn't work....you get over it on your own...people telling you to get over it just pisses you off....



I disagree. If you show someone too much sympathy, they'll feel like it's ok to feel miserable all the time, and it'll be harder for them to get over it. I remember crying over this one bitch for about a month after we broke up, and my friends offered sympathy at first, but after a while, they gave me a reality check and pointed out what a whiney bitch I was being, and how I needed to get over it. It pissed me off at the time, but in retrospect, I needed to hear it.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Offlinexmercury
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Registered: 04/22/04
Posts: 164
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: silversoul7]
    #3148770 - 09/17/04 04:56 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks everyone.

When he gets back later I am gonna say it is his turn to do them dishes. Then tomorrow ask if he wants to go do some food shoppin. If he says no fine, but I wont let him use my food. Ima be a bitch. Going against my nature. Just be like "Dude sorry goto the store or something."

I am actually excited. I will keep ya updated on the situation. I actually think I might have just changed my whole mindset. Fuck it confontational it is. :P Wahoooooo


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-merc


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InvisibleGeordi_La_Forge
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Randolph_Carter]
    #3148771 - 09/17/04 04:57 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Shit...half the time? I didn't do so bad then.....I mean what was it guys...I whined for like what 3 or 4 months? I was dating her for 2 going on 3 years...and we were good friends for 2 years before that...


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OfflineRandolph_Carter
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Geordi_La_Forge]
    #3148808 - 09/17/04 05:03 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

But you whined HARDCORE for 3-4 months.

It was quicker than anticipated.


--------------------
"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)


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InvisibleGeordi_La_Forge
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Randolph_Carter]
    #3148863 - 09/17/04 05:14 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

oh it wasn't THAT bad


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OfflineRandolph_Carter
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Geordi_La_Forge]
    #3148866 - 09/17/04 05:15 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I missed most of it, so i have no leg to stand on. :smile:


--------------------
"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Geordi_La_Forge]
    #3148876 - 09/17/04 05:18 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Geordi_La_Forge said:
Hmmm...I think I can field this one

give him time...he'll get over it when he gets over it....the best thing you can do is try to get him out and doing things

preferrably new things...meet new people...and exercise...I can't stress that enough




WTF is this?????!!!!???^^^^^^^^^


back to OTD boy......you got some cotton to pick still


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InvisibleGeordi_La_Forge
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: goobler]
    #3148887 - 09/17/04 05:21 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

you brought me here...WTF did you think was going to happen...I've been corrupted!


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Geordi_La_Forge]
    #3148939 - 09/17/04 05:33 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

hahahahaha

sometimes its lively here....but watch your step, they don't clean up after themselves


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OfflineRedstorm
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Geordi_La_Forge]
    #3148949 - 09/17/04 05:35 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I was wonderng why you were being so sympathetic, until I remembered you grieving period.


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Invisible40oz
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: xmercury]
    #3148979 - 09/17/04 05:43 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

he needs a good bitch slapping
and a swift kick in the ass.


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InvisibleGeordi_La_Forge
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Redstorm]
    #3148986 - 09/17/04 05:45 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I can emphathize with people like that....before I would scoff in their faces....now I know the feeling. Its my weak point.


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Acceptable greiving period after breakup? [Re: Geordi_La_Forge]
    #3148996 - 09/17/04 05:48 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I thought Crohns was


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