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Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity
    #7474385 -

As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Full Article here

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."



What sayest thou?


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Edited by OrgoneConclusion (10/01/07 03:11 PM)

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #7474568 -

Wait, this has gone beyond joke status and people are taking this shit seriously?

Oh, well if people believe in creationism and the easter bunny I guess I don't need an answer.


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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #7474571 -

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.



--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Edited by Icelander (10/01/07 04:11 PM)

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Icelander]
    #7474632 -

I guess religion really does weigh down on people.

Anyone know of any good spots to get abducted by aliens?


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Entropy is increasing.
To send me a PM, go to my journal

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #7474651 -

You can't be so naive as to believe this? You are aware that The Onion is a joke site?


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #7474653 -

...but if you like the onion you'll love this place. The site of my favorite church:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #7474680 -

Awesome.:thumbup:


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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #7474686 -

Huehuecoyotl said:
You can't be so naive as to believe this? You are aware that The Onion is a joke site?


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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Icelander]
    #7474719 -

Check out their Bible verse t-shirts.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #7475315 -

Gravity, is a consequence of material love, matter loves itself and is attracted to itself. Material love precedes cognition, but is a necessary condition for cognition. - Allium decepteva

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #7475376 -

Huehuecoyotl said:
You can't be so naive as to believe this? You are aware that The Onion is a joke site?



I have a feeling that our dear friend realizes this is a joke and was attempting to make it even funnier by presenting it as though it were serious. I could be wrong, however. Maybe he's finally on his way to the loony bin I always knew he'd find his way to one of these days. :smirk:

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #7475443 -

NiamhNyx said:
I always knew he'd find his way to one of these days.


I don't know if you meant to type it quite like that, but it is kind of neat either way....  :grin:


>^;;^<


--------------------
I'll be your midnight French Fry....  :naughty:

"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."
>^;;^<

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: PhanTomCat]
    #7476339 -

I heard it before, I didn't know the Onion originated it. I just thought someone that got hit one to many times with the bible thought it was a serious claim and started meddling with the schools again to teach it.


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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #7476370 -

The believe among fundamentalists Christians that the Harry Potter books are used to recruit kids to the ranks of Satanic practitioners originated from an Onion article that was copied and distributed by pastors at churches in order to show their "flocks" that Satanists were at work in the world and generate paranoia. I had someone present me with a copy of this article (with The Onion address removed from the copy) as proof of rampant Satanism. I showed them the web site that had generated the article, but it was to no avail because their all knowing pastor had distributed it as truth. They thought that it was all part of the great Satanist plot. At the time I was shocked that religious leaders would distribute such information maliciously to take advantage of the general stupidity of their church memebers. Now I am shocked by very little.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #7476905 -

Quote:
As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.


I would love to see them put this theory in practice.  Mr.Burdett can volunteer.  He can jump off a cliff or from a tall building, and if he believes that gravity is an intelligent force pushing him down, then it can definitely push him up too...:hehehe:


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Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy - Ambrose Bierce

Medical science has confirmed what the male world has known intuitively for millenia: that scratching your ass is a great aid to complex thinking.

Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc.
Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god."
- Indian Armed Forces

"Hey Monkey!! Get Funky" - Tarzan and Jane

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #7476931 -

NiamhNyx said:
Huehuecoyotl said:
You can't be so naive as to believe this? You are aware that The Onion is a joke site?



I have a feeling that our dear friend realizes this is a joke and was attempting to make it even funnier by presenting it as though it were serious. I could be wrong, however. Maybe he's finally on his way to the loony bin I always knew he'd find his way to one of these days. :smirk:


He is under house arrest at this very moment.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Icelander]
    #7476963 -

They make me wear an electronic collar now. At least I get milk & cookies if I behave.


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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #7476977 -

My dog has one of those collars.

Sit Swa, er I mean Orgone, sit.

Now play dead.:hellfire: (sorry:blush:that just slipped out)


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Edited by Icelander (10/02/07 10:38 AM)

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #7478450 -

hahaha,

I say no it is "Allah who holds me to ground" or any one of the other thousands of ficticious God's mankind has created over the years...

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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #7479398 -

No, the rubber band tentacles of the FSM pull me back to ground ever and ever again.


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Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
......................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'

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