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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity
#7474385 - 10/01/07 03:03 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.
Full Article here
Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.
"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."
What sayest thou?
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Edited by OrgoneConclusion (10/01/07 03:11 PM)
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Visionary Tools



Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Wait, this has gone beyond joke status and people are taking this shit seriously?
Oh, well if people believe in creationism and the easter bunny I guess I don't need an answer.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
Edited by Icelander (10/01/07 04:11 PM)
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Grok
Has Been a Bad Boy



Registered: 12/03/03
Posts: 1,262
Loc: Greener Pastures
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Icelander]
#7474632 - 10/01/07 04:34 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I guess religion really does weigh down on people.
Anyone know of any good spots to get abducted by aliens?
-------------------- Entropy is increasing. To send me a PM, go to my journal
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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You can't be so naive as to believe this? You are aware that The Onion is a joke site?
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7474653 - 10/01/07 04:41 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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...but if you like the onion you'll love this place. The site of my favorite church: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7474680 - 10/01/07 04:53 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Awesome.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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El Zorro
in heaven
Registered: 03/21/07
Posts: 902
Last seen: 2 years, 27 days
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7474686 - 10/01/07 04:54 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said: You can't be so naive as to believe this? You are aware that The Onion is a joke site?
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Icelander]
#7474719 - 10/01/07 05:08 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Check out their Bible verse t-shirts.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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falcon


Registered: 04/01/02
Posts: 8,005
Last seen: 7 hours, 8 minutes
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Gravity, is a consequence of material love, matter loves itself and is attracted to itself. Material love precedes cognition, but is a necessary condition for cognition. - Allium decepteva
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'



Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#7475376 - 10/01/07 08:23 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said: You can't be so naive as to believe this? You are aware that The Onion is a joke site?
I have a feeling that our dear friend realizes this is a joke and was attempting to make it even funnier by presenting it as though it were serious. I could be wrong, however. Maybe he's finally on his way to the loony bin I always knew he'd find his way to one of these days.
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PhanTomCat
Teh Cat....



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 5,908
Loc: My Youniverse....
Last seen: 14 years, 11 months
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7475443 - 10/01/07 08:42 PM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
NiamhNyx said: I always knew he'd find his way to one of these days.
I don't know if you meant to type it quite like that, but it is kind of neat either way.... 
>^;;^<
-------------------- I'll be your midnight French Fry.... "The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...." >^;;^<
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Visionary Tools



Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: PhanTomCat]
#7476339 - 10/02/07 03:59 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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I heard it before, I didn't know the Onion originated it. I just thought someone that got hit one to many times with the bible thought it was a serious claim and started meddling with the schools again to teach it.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7476370 - 10/02/07 04:39 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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The believe among fundamentalists Christians that the Harry Potter books are used to recruit kids to the ranks of Satanic practitioners originated from an Onion article that was copied and distributed by pastors at churches in order to show their "flocks" that Satanists were at work in the world and generate paranoia. I had someone present me with a copy of this article (with The Onion address removed from the copy) as proof of rampant Satanism. I showed them the web site that had generated the article, but it was to no avail because their all knowing pastor had distributed it as truth. They thought that it was all part of the great Satanist plot. At the time I was shocked that religious leaders would distribute such information maliciously to take advantage of the general stupidity of their church memebers. Now I am shocked by very little.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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shakercee
Atheistic Mystic



Registered: 04/08/07
Posts: 606
Loc: Here and there
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Quote:
As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.
I would love to see them put this theory in practice. Mr.Burdett can volunteer. He can jump off a cliff or from a tall building, and if he believes that gravity is an intelligent force pushing him down, then it can definitely push him up too...
-------------------- Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy - Ambrose Bierce Medical science has confirmed what the male world has known intuitively for millenia: that scratching your ass is a great aid to complex thinking. Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc. Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god." - Indian Armed Forces "Hey Monkey!! Get Funky" - Tarzan and Jane
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7476931 - 10/02/07 10:25 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
NiamhNyx said:
Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said: You can't be so naive as to believe this? You are aware that The Onion is a joke site?
I have a feeling that our dear friend realizes this is a joke and was attempting to make it even funnier by presenting it as though it were serious. I could be wrong, however. Maybe he's finally on his way to the loony bin I always knew he'd find his way to one of these days.
He is under house arrest at this very moment.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Intelligent Falling replaces Gravity [Re: Icelander]
#7476963 - 10/02/07 10:34 AM (16 years, 3 months ago) |
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They make me wear an electronic collar now. At least I get milk & cookies if I behave.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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My dog has one of those collars.
Sit Swa, er I mean Orgone, sit.
Now play dead. (sorry that just slipped out)
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
Edited by Icelander (10/02/07 10:38 AM)
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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea


Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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hahaha,
I say no it is "Allah who holds me to ground" or any one of the other thousands of ficticious God's mankind has created over the years...
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BlueCoyote
Beyond



Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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No, the rubber band tentacles of the FSM pull me back to ground ever and ever again.
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KevsaNewb
Stranger



Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 191
Loc: In the south
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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so...the secret to flying really IS to throw oneself at the ground and miss, then?
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