Rahie said:

I am by no means suicidal, so I am not going there. But sometimes life is just a bag of shit, and the only time of peace and no worries is sleep. Sometimes at night I tell myself I just wanna go to sleep forever. Sometimes I just wanna pass on in my sleep to a world that is NOT cruel and full of disappointment.
Don't get me wrong I have some great times and have some great friends and family but life just isn't that great sometimes.
This is why drugs are so popular because they help us escape (or enhance) this reality. Some backfire when they make you feel better but then totally fuck up your life in the long run.
I take responsibility for my past what I did where I am today, but I am pissed at myself. I wish I wasn't a stoner and a drunk during high school and got good grades and maybe excelled at sports and went too a good college.
I guess my rant shit is over.

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Yeah, I feel bad for you.. You sound just like me. We're not all capable of the same achievements. If it bothers you that much, start today to try and improve yourself. I get pissed at myself because I'm a lazy ass too, don't care to do much about it tho. I'm sure I could come up with plenty of good advice for you, but I'm not willing to follow it myself.