Listen to this. My girlfriend comes to me one day, crying telling me her parents told her she has to get married to someone or leave the country and study somewhere else. Shes illegal, so I decided I would marry her so she can drive and we can live together safely. (Warning signs of a fucked up person are theyre 18 and their parents dictate choices they HAVE to make in their lives). Well the marriage, and living together were WAY rushed, so needless to say, things didnt work so well. Especially since we were living with her mom. Everyone warned me, dont marry her, its not going to be good for you guys, but she cant drive or work legally or do anything legally so i wanted to help her so we could live a better life together. Well ive learned if you try to help someone who has too many problems, they make you part of the problem. She has a violent tendency. Someone sold her something for a higher price than was warranted and she talked about getting people to beat them up, instead of just talking to him or letting karma smooth it out. I was slightly disgusted when she said this, but man, so many other things were distracting me, i didnt worry about it. I should have. The next sign was some girl I knew from highschool coming to hug me, and i dont even hug her back. Now my ex-wife got all upset and beat her up. I havent gotten into a fight with someone for... over 7-9 years. I dont like fighting. Im a peaceful stoner. I dont do anything physical anymore, im really weak. I DONT WANNA HURT ANYONE, especially osmeone i love. If they attack me, i have all the right to defend myself. In her mind violence solves things(lots of times she has talked to me about getting some of her 'friends' to beat up other people). I should have opened my eyes to this. Now im not perfect. The first time i slapped her when she asked me if I had been cheating on her with my best friend. Now, I know it wasnt right to slap her. I stopped a long time ago. She was always extremely worried about me cheating because her dad had ALOT of mistresses. (thanks AGAIN!) And shes the first one to do something inapropriate. She bends over alot in front of my friend so hell look at her ass, just because she got jealous because his girlfriend was doing the same thing. The only time there was violence in the recent-past (last 8-14 months) its a nervous energy between us, and we end up biting eachother, wrestling, spitting on eachother. Very recently she has been the one initiating the violence. The other day she closed the door on my collarbone so badly, it bled and there was a scar. Note: i didnt touch her then. The next day after that, im trying to talk to her and she begins to run off, i go in front of her and put my arm on her leg. She kicks me in the chest and i hit the wall. I mean its just fuked up. The last fight we had, I didnt get something she said, and changed the subject. Apparently changing the subject made her so upset, she went downstairs and started crying. I tried to talk ot her and she wouldnt. She ran upstairs, I was going up the stairs to see whats up. NOTE: im calm, im talking, not crying; shes crying Running around upset. She runs down the stairs into me and bites my face, i bite her back and grab her by the neck to get her the fuck off of me. Next thing i know, were on the floor, shes grabbing my hair, im trying to just calm her down. So i let her go, she starts SCREAMING as loud as she can. I try to cover her mouth some of my neighbors dont call the cops. I try to hug her. She just shakes violently in my arms and screams. I try to talk to her. This is the mood she gets in. Some state so fucked up, where she cant see reality in front of her. All she can do is hurt someone anyone who comes around her and scream at the top of her lungs. She screams so much sometimes, her body thinks its puking so she like dry heaves. Its the scariest thing ive ever been thru. Im like "its ok, no ones trying to hurt you, i love you" and its AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Her dad must have abused her alot when she was a kid. And now im the one paying for it. Older people I talk to who deal alot with this kind of thing, agree shes confusing me with her dad. I did hurt her, but I LOVE(d) her, thats not my intent. We could have worked it out. SHE got a restraining order against me, and lied in court saying I attacked her! Her report is like 40-60% true. Its pathetic. She has really bad issues, and im her scapegoat, so she never admits it to herself. One time I was trying to talk to her, I wasnt doing anything wrong, she interrupts me to insult me, then runs off when im STILL being reasonable. WTF! After I give all my life to her and marry her to help her out, after her telling me "I NEVER WANNA LOSE YOU NO MATTER WHAT" (MANY TIMES) SHE gets a restraining order against ME! WHEN SHES THE ONE WHO ATTACKED ME. NOT ONLY THAT, she told the judge i should go to anger managment, and the judge was like OK. So ive gotta go to anger managment when shes the one who attacks me. LIFE IS BACKWARDS. God these people that did this to me, are in for really bad karma
I guess shes doing me a favor.
Now, I had just build an expensive setup, spent my last hundreds of dollars on it, and now im broke and alone. Love is a very twisted thing. It can make you love someone who has no intrest in your well being.
If youre reading this listen: You attacked me, I dont know who youre lying to, yourself, or everyone. Do you really think I would hurt you just because you wanna leave? I was standing in the way and u ran into me and bit me. Wether you believe it or not, is one thing, but IT IS THE TRUTH. I have no reason to lie.
The really shitty part. This is my virgin. And before i met her i never though about just one girl, but man she made me want just her. It sucks man, i thought were gonna be together for ever.
My advice to anyone whos in a similar situation: Let the crazy girl run off, and then shell see how stupid shes being and come back to you. NEVER try to hold them back, because it will make things exponentially worse.
-------------------- God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire
Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play
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