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Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet
    #6307083 -

Listen to this. My girlfriend comes to me one day, crying telling me her parents told her she has to get married to someone or leave the country and study somewhere else. Shes illegal, so I decided I would marry her so she can drive and we can live together safely. (Warning signs of a fucked up person are theyre 18 and their parents dictate choices they HAVE to make in their lives).
Well the marriage, and living together were WAY rushed, so needless to say, things didnt work so well. Especially since we were living with her mom. Everyone warned me, dont marry her, its not going to be good for you guys, but she cant drive or work legally or do anything legally so i wanted to help her so we could live a better life together. Well ive learned if you try to help someone who has too many problems, they make you part of the problem.
She has a violent tendency. Someone sold her something for a higher price than was warranted and she talked about getting people to beat them up, instead of just talking to him or letting karma smooth it out. I was slightly disgusted when she said this, but man, so many other things were distracting me, i didnt worry about it. I should have.
The next sign was some girl I knew from highschool coming to hug me, and i dont even hug her back. Now my ex-wife got all upset and beat her up. I havent gotten into a fight with someone for... over 7-9 years. I dont like fighting. Im a peaceful stoner. I dont do anything physical anymore, im really weak. I DONT WANNA HURT ANYONE, especially osmeone i love. If they attack me, i have all the right to defend myself.
In her mind violence solves things(lots of times she has talked to me about getting some of her 'friends' to beat up other people). I should have opened my eyes to this.
Now im not perfect. The first time i slapped her when she asked me if I had been cheating on her with my best friend. Now, I know it wasnt right to slap her. I stopped a long time ago. She was always extremely worried about me cheating because her dad had ALOT of mistresses. (thanks AGAIN!) And shes the first one to do something inapropriate. She bends over alot in front of my friend so hell look at her ass, just because she got jealous because his girlfriend was doing the same thing. The only time there was violence in the recent-past (last 8-14 months) its a nervous energy between us, and we end up biting eachother, wrestling, spitting on eachother.
Very recently she has been the one initiating the violence. The other day she closed the door on my collarbone so badly, it bled and there was a scar. Note: i didnt touch her then. The next day after that, im trying to talk to her and she begins to run off, i go in front of her and put my arm on her leg. She kicks me in the chest and i hit the wall. I mean its just fuked up.
The last fight we had, I didnt get something she said, and changed the subject. Apparently changing the subject made her so upset, she went downstairs and started crying. I tried to talk ot her and she wouldnt. She ran upstairs, I was going up the stairs to see whats up. NOTE: im calm, im talking, not crying; shes crying Running around upset. She runs down the stairs into me and bites my face, i bite her back and grab her by the neck to get her the fuck off of me. Next thing i know, were on the floor, shes grabbing my hair, im trying to just calm her down. So i let her go, she starts SCREAMING as loud as she can. I try to cover her mouth some of my neighbors dont call the cops. I try to hug her. She just shakes violently in my arms and screams. I try to talk to her. This is the mood she gets in. Some state so fucked up, where she cant see reality in front of her. All she can do is hurt someone anyone who comes around her and scream at the top of her lungs. She screams so much sometimes, her body thinks its puking so she like dry heaves. Its the scariest thing ive ever been thru. Im like "its ok, no ones trying to hurt you, i love you" and its AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Her dad must have abused her alot when she was a kid. And now im the one paying for it. Older people I talk to who deal alot with this kind of thing, agree shes confusing me with her dad. I did hurt her, but I LOVE(d) her, thats not my intent. We could have worked it out.
SHE got a restraining order against me, and lied in court saying I attacked her! Her report is like 40-60% true. Its pathetic. She has really bad issues, and im her scapegoat, so she never admits it to herself. One time I was trying to talk to her, I wasnt doing anything wrong, she interrupts me to insult me, then runs off when im STILL being reasonable.
WTF! After I give all my life to her and marry her to help her out, after her telling me "I NEVER WANNA LOSE YOU NO MATTER WHAT" (MANY TIMES) SHE gets a restraining order against ME! WHEN SHES THE ONE WHO ATTACKED ME. NOT ONLY THAT, she told the judge i should go to anger managment, and the judge was like OK. So ive gotta go to anger managment when shes the one who attacks me. LIFE IS BACKWARDS.
God these people that did this to me, are in for really bad karma

I guess shes doing me a favor.

Now, I had just build an expensive setup, spent my last hundreds of dollars on it, and now im broke and alone. Love is a very twisted thing. It can make you love someone who has no intrest in your well being.

If youre reading this listen: You attacked me, I dont know who youre lying to, yourself, or everyone. Do you really think I would hurt you just because you wanna leave? I was standing in the way and u ran into me and bit me. Wether you believe it or not, is one thing, but IT IS THE TRUTH. I have no reason to lie.

The really shitty part. This is my virgin. And before i met her i never though about just one girl, but man she made me want just her. It sucks man, i thought were gonna be together for ever.

My advice to anyone whos in a similar situation: Let the crazy girl run off, and then shell see how stupid shes being and come back to you. NEVER try to hold them back, because it will make things exponentially worse.


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet *DELETED* [Re: CerebralFlower] * 1
    #6307098 -

Post deleted by poke smot!

Reason for deletion: x


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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: poke smot!]
    #6307103 -

man, i really dedicated everything i had to this girl, and believed in my heart we would stay together and work out our problems together.


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: poke smot!]
    #6307106 -

My best friend's sister Rasia was beaten by her boyfriend, and literally thrown out of the car. He went home and she called the police on him, so his mother scratched him up and had her sent to jail for a couple weeks.

Shit like this is getting worse and worse, stupid stuff happens too often. I don't get it!


I've been in a near-violent relationship, but whenever I catch wind of it I've always been lucky enough to turn the relationship into a 'joke' and let it completely fall apart in a couple days or week through lack of care and not even showing up to be with the person. She was a mean bitch... tried to convince me to kill myself... Slapping isn't bad if there's a good reason behind it, like that...


--------------------
OP is now RP!  Read about it here!


Edited by DRTMaverick (11/28/06 09:02 AM)

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6307109 -

Yep, that's pretty fucked up. At least you're no longer together.

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower] * 1
    #6307112 -

CerebralFlower said:
man, i really dedicated everything i had to this girl, and believed in my heart we would stay together and work out our problems together.


If you don't mind some $.02 advice...

I think the problem here is your use of the word "our".

From the story you told, most of those weren't "your" problems, they were her problems. Whether it comes to standing up to her parents (instead of getting married), violent tendancies, jealousy, or her abuse of the justice system, you are the cause of none of those problems.

She has to work those things out on her own, unfortunately, you can't do it for her.

Your situation really does suck, and I really wish no one had to go through what you did, but I think you should examine whether or not it was even possible to work out her problems "together".

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower] * 1
    #6307124 -

Did you know this girl when you married her?

How could you expect a crazy bitch to suddenly not be a crazy bitch?

At least you learned something important. And you could have lost more than you did.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: Economist]
    #6307127 -

Economist said:
If you don't mind some $.02 advice...

I think the problem here is your use of the word "our".

From the story you told, most of those weren't "your" problems, they were her problems.  Whether it comes to standing up to her parents (instead of getting married), violent tendancies, jealousy, or her abuse of the justice system, you are the cause of none of those problems.

She has to work those things out on her own, unfortunately, you can't do it for her.

Your situation really does suck, and I really wish no one had to go through what you did, but I think you should examine whether or not it was even possible to work out her problems "together".


thanks, this is good to hear. I dont think we can do anything "together" cause i cant see her, or talk to her for a whole FUCKING YEAR.  :eek:

GET THIS: Im so dangerous, in such dire need of help(???) but due to bueracracy theres no appoinment till JANUARY. fuck this. this is the way SHE CHOOSES to do things. Shes not rational anymore. theres no hope of her ever treating me RIGHT i think. shell never understand her role in these problems, she cant even remeber the fucking truth man. Its so pathetic she has to make up bad stuff about me, and then I pay for it.
...no matter what my ass


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6307131 -

i had know this girl for... about a year when we got married.. This was my first girlfriend, because I waited for someone pure and real, didnt want anyone fake, and i guess i was wrong. I should have noticed her violent tendencies, and her hypocracy, but i was blinded to that, i guess cause i chose to ignore it, to focus on the love.

thanks to everyone who responds and reads. its making me feel better . thanks guys


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


Edited by CerebralFlower (11/28/06 09:32 AM)

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6307150 -

GIRL: you can try to escape from the truth, but u cant. the longer you wait, the worse it will be. the longer you run from reality, the more youre damned. Only you have to live with your own mind.


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6307203 -

Yeah, I'm not going to read all of that, but will say, "A lot of crap people will step into willingly" Bad choices can easily fuck up your life. Stop and think first.

Edited by Pinhead (11/28/06 10:14 AM)

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6307208 -

sorry to hear that man, that's really fucked up.

but life goes on. gotta get off to a fresh start.


--------------------

Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R. Tolkien

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: nightkrawler]
    #6307312 -

Another thing that sucks, we spend almost all our time together. So i have like no friends. I have aquaintiances, no close friends.
Apparently not her though. Shes been talking to "only guys" and been going to parties to stay up all night. HEY 8#$%@*! When i tried to talk to you about our problems and help you ,YOU FELL ASLEEP!
fuck it dude


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


Edited by CerebralFlower (11/28/06 11:14 AM)

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6307410 -

My stepmother is kinda like the girl you're talking about. Only differences is that she and my father are still together and he hasn't hit her....yet at least, who knows how long it will last, i'm just glad i'm out of the house now and not suffering for her problems.

But people like that need to start being honest with themselves and admit that they are creating the problems for themselves. Yet it's always hard to admit that we might be the ones in the wrong.


--------------------
Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on Simplicity ~Plato

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: poke smot!]
    #6307418 -

poke smot is clearly the winner.

he gets my sympathy. You get laughed at for getting beaten up by a girl

faggggot :grin:


--------------------
"I only ever hope to reach equilibrium, in Nature's matrix, in line with the meridian" ~ Jehst

:sun: "...and I know that I have to keep breathing, as tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide will bring?" :sun:

Free Spore Ring Europe
Send any spare spore prints you might have and help the distribution :grin:

Open Source. Freedom.  GNU/Linux

Addicting is not a word.

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6307443 -

how old are you?

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6307473 -

Sounds alike an absolutely horrible relationship.

I think its more of a blessing you are out of it than anything else. There are plenty of nice girls out there.

I caught my first girlfriend (we were 18) in bed with a 30 year old. That was pretty twisted to say the least.

Time heals, you'll find another one.

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: Cepheus]
    #6307485 -

aManEater said:
You get laughed at for getting beaten up by a girl

faggggot :grin:


what sort of dumbass gets married to a girl at 18 hahaha. man you were fucking duped.


--------------------
"I only ever hope to reach equilibrium, in Nature's matrix, in line with the meridian" ~ Jehst

:sun: "...and I know that I have to keep breathing, as tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide will bring?" :sun:

Free Spore Ring Europe
Send any spare spore prints you might have and help the distribution :grin:

Open Source. Freedom.  GNU/Linux

Addicting is not a word.

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: TheCow]
    #6307505 -

Dude I know this is so fucked up... But... Dose her with shrooms man. I always tend to think of all the bad things Ive been doing and how I affect others.

I realized that Im a leach, that I am EXTREAMLY manipulative, but I go about it all very kindly, which is only further manipulation, you see its easier to manipulate someone when they dont 'see' a threat in you, when you put yourself lower on the social status scale, no one will fuck with you, leaving you free to do what you want. Don't get me wrong I don't totally fuck people over, I just take more then I give. Most of the time Ill leave the person believing that I was the one at a lose. Anyway It really fucks with my head while Im tripping and haunts me when Im sober, so I do my best to take controle.

I know everyone will say like no no no blah blah blah fuck being politicly correct and drug her.

All that will prolly only work if shes sane which when I asked a psychiatrist what sane meant he told me, quote, "Normal" I started laughing my ass off, now I'm on all kinds of meds that I dont take HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it was funny shit man.

But yeah I just broke up with this chick cuz at first she seemed real cool and just trippy. but after we got a little more intamate the only vibs I got off her was like, harmfull, like all she wanted was to harm. So one day I asked her, If a little boy was walking past us right now and fell and hit chin first, then started to bleed, and only started crying after he saw blood, what would you do? She laughed and then said what the fuck is that. If she was the person I thought she was or even slightly "Sane" she would have known at least to lie and say something like, a tear would prolly stream down my cheek because I would feel his pain, then I would go comfort him. ya know. so I broke up with her. Don't get me wrong, not just cuz of that but it was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

I know what you mean man, I totally wanted to marry this chick and have kids with her blah blah blah... I guess I was just a lil more lucky then you to find out her true self before I got too attached. Its weird man, how people can just inflict pain and laugh you know? it leaves me like WTF... WHY?

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Re: Life fucked up? Ive got you topped i bet [Re: Mr_Spliff]
    #6307627 -

I dont know why she told me hundreds of times that no matter what happened between us she would ALWAYS be with me.
I wouldnt ever dose anyone without them wanting to.
I will be 21 in 2 weeks, she will be 21 in 10 days. It really sucks. Our birthdays are 6 days apart, and theyre about to happen, and we wont even be there together. Like I said we got married for political reasons, neither of us would have got married, we would have just kept going out and IT PROBABLY WOULD HAVE WORKED.
For those of you that have never been married, it adds alot of stress, makes you almost go crazy! GRRRRR

GIRL: you werent easy on me, but i didnt leave you...
...no matter what???


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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