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OfflineCerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Im starting to lose hope
    #6267460 - 11/09/06 10:50 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

In my girlfriend.
It seems theres always a problem. After 3 years she knows me by now, knows my good and bad. She should accept it by now, and if theres bad in me she should guide me away from it as we both have guided eachtoher in the past.
Today she gets really upset at me, when she has no right to, and then when i try to talk to her, she just falls asleep, telling me she doesnt need to talk to me.

I dont want this shit anymore. Im so sick of being happy, being intimate, then a few hours later, shes so mad at me she ignores me, wont even talk to me.
I know I could be happy on my own and not start feeling bad for no reason. i CAN reason.
This is total bullshit. This girl tells me she loves me so much and really wants it to work, in the same day she tells me she wants to leave me.
This has happened probably 30-100 times. Sadly enough. Its very weak love.
true love but very incredibly weak.
I mean what the fuck? She makes me feel horrible, when i dont do anything wrong, then when i try to talk to her about it to feel better, she wont even listen she says shes gonna fall asleep.

Im not perfect, but atleast i try, and be reasonable. I mean I couldnt even fall asleep knowing that i hurt my soulmate, that i treated them terribly, she can tho apparently.

I feel really horrible. Ive given my whole life to this girl, ive sacraficed pretty much everything (at various times) to prove to her i love her. And for what?
Stupid shit like this? Its really getting to be too much. Ive used all my patience.
I keep telling myself everyone is capabable of change, im starting to feel too optimistic.
This is really wieghing me down, its becoming to be very hard to take. Im scared that i am going to lash out at her, because i have been extremely patient with her,my life really revolves around this relationship, and for it to be so shitty, just burns me. I am not so patient and devote so much of my energy to this relationship, for her to disrespect me so much.

Its so hard, because sometimes shes so sweet, other times she is truthfully colder than anyone else in my life. It shouldnt be that way, has been for too long, if its another day, i cant take it. she has to change, or im going to explode on her, and its not gonna be good. So if she doesnt change I cant stay, cause i dont want to do something stupid and hurt either of us or our futures, and my patience has run dry for the same old fucked up stuff(creating problems out of nothing)

Im sick of everything being fine and her acting psychotic. If theres a problem we should fix it, if theres not move on. no more bullshit. im not going to go on with it like that


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God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


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OfflineRingmaster420
The IncredibleBulk

Registered: 09/12/06
Posts: 51
Last seen: 17 years, 29 days
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6267493 - 11/09/06 11:08 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

I think(or know) alot of people have been through a relationship like this at various times, the best you can do is not let it get to you. I was in a long relationship where things eventually ended up somthing like this. I learned alot from this mentioned relationship. I believe the trick is letting her know, without being hurtfull, that you don't need her to be happy, but rather the relationship is a privledge and you are self confident in your abilities without her. Never whine to your girl or show weakness in this, if she wants to let you go to fall asleep so be it... by letting her go you show you are the stronger one, this will assert your power as well as giving her space and soon she will be craving you like mad. Don't ever be afraid to criticize your girl, so long as its not in a hurtfull manner, if you can do it jokingly(mastery) it will be hard to keep her off you. Hope this helps... I'm not an expert and if I was id be a rich man but I will say i've learned alot over the years.

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InvisibleBrainiac
Rogue Scientist
Male

Registered: 04/29/06
Posts: 13,259
Loc: 與您的女朋 Flag
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6267495 - 11/09/06 11:12 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Welcome to the wonderful world of women. :wink:


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:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:

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OfflineBlindLemon
waves
Male

Registered: 04/20/06
Posts: 628
Loc: so cal
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: Ringmaster420]
    #6267499 - 11/09/06 11:13 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Ringmaster420 said:
I think(or know) alot of people have been through a relationship like this at various times, the best you can do is not let it get to you.  I was in a long relationship where things eventually ended up somthing like this.  I learned alot from this mentioned relationship. I believe the trick is letting her know, without being hurtfull, that you don't need her to be happy, but rather the relationship is a privledge and you are self confident in your abilities without her.  Never whine to your girl or show weakness in this, if she wants to let you go to fall asleep so be it... by letting her go you show you are the stronger one, this will assert your power as well as giving her space and soon she will be craving you like mad.  Don't ever be afraid to criticize your girl, so long as its not in a hurtfull manner, if you can do it jokingly(mastery) it will be hard to keep her off you.  Hope this helps... I'm not an expert and if I was id be a rich man but I will say i've learned alot over the years.




U sound like an expert! Great advice! :thumbup:


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Im a fucking spiral..

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OfflineJonnyDeformed

Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 1,809
Loc: Directlyundertheearthssun...
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: BlindLemon]
    #6267512 - 11/09/06 11:27 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Give her a oneway ticket to dumpsville.
You're better off alone.
Monogamy is for birds.


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dubiousness
Dubious compound

it is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
A penalty for possession of a drug/plant should not be more damaging than the drug/plant itself.

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OfflineCerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: JonnyDeformed]
    #6268481 - 11/10/06 10:09 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

This relationship has been hard. I told her today, if it was going to be like this anymore id rather be alone. I told her its a choice to stay together, i wont choose to suffer.
"Im lost
Lord im lost
Love is such a heavy load" - bob marley


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


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Invisibledblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6269259 - 11/10/06 03:05 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

This girl tells me she loves me so much and really wants it to work, in the same day she tells me she wants to leave me.




Maybe she's having some emotional issues. There's no doubt about it...relationships can be rough. Try to be strong, I don't know if there's any way to truly avoid letting it get to you, but have you at least told her all this?

Patience is key man :smile:

:goodluck:


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

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OfflineDocPsilocybin
enthusiast

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 588
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: dblaney]
    #6269503 - 11/10/06 04:18 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Seperate the past for the present.

Don't hang onto the past if the present sucks. Dump her and move on if she's not treating you well. Everyone deserves happiness.


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You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
-- Booker T. Washington

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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6269674 - 11/10/06 05:17 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

(I'm not calling you a pedophile, do not take it that way)

She sounds like she's twelve. I dunno how old you two are, but I've found that most females under 25 don't have any fucking idea what they want/where they want to be. Simply put, immaturity.


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channel your inner Larry David

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Offlinekotik
fuckingsuperhero
 User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: demiu5]
    #6269784 - 11/10/06 05:50 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

the key to every relationship (with women) is this: play along with their little games, like you are new to the whole thing every single day. If that's too much work, then you should consider changing your perspective, and maybe becoming a controlling asshole, which tends to work much better, with less stress on your part.


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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OfflineThe_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 17 years, 21 days
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: kotik]
    #6270357 - 11/10/06 09:08 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

There's some odd advice in this thread. I say that because you are in a relationship, which should consist of 2 equally important people sharing their lives together. Once you lose that, you lose the point. Keep that in mind, bro. You let her fall asleep on you? That is both of you giving up. Why is that even an issue in a relatioship after 3 years? Pretty ridiculous. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I have no done that, myself, to the people I love. The thing is.. they didn't let it happen for long. The only reason they let it happen at all is because they wanted to give me some space and let me work things out on my own. There is that balance to be concerned with. I don't think that it's necessary to let her have so much freedom that she is disrespecting you, though. That is vital and to lose that is to stop dead in your tracks and go off on a tangent that will get you lost in a hurry. It sounds to me like you need to find out why she is not respecting you and share your thoughts about why you do not respect her.


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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OfflineHeffy
BrauMeister
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #6271705 - 11/11/06 11:33 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Leave her. If she really cares about you this will cause her behaviour to change 100%.If the relationship is past the point where it can work then it is high time to end it so you can both go on with your lives.


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I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund

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OfflineDocPsilocybin
enthusiast

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 588
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: Heffy]
    #6272461 - 11/11/06 03:42 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

I agree with hobbitcg about there being some weird advice on here. Don't just 'play along with her games'. Worry about your personal happiness and treating her fairly. If you have to compromise on either then obviously she's not the right girl. Don't get trapped in a relationship because being slightly unhappy is easier than change.


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You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
-- Booker T. Washington

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OfflinegeokillsA
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,563
Loc: city of angels Flag
Last seen: 20 hours, 54 minutes
Re: Im starting to lose hope [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6272591 - 11/11/06 04:26 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

> she has to change, or im going to explode on her, and its not gonna be good.

You can NEVER EXPECT to change another person!

You are gambling my friend, and it sounds to me like you're about to lose it all to the house.  Expectations will lead to failure and disappointment.  You have to love freely in order to maintain your sanity, and it sounds like you are simply not getting what you need out of this relationship.  Search your soul, are you happy with the way things are?  If you are not, can YOU do something about YOURSELF to be happy?  Don't worry about how your ladyfriend might change, because chances are that she quite simply will not.  If you can do nothing on your end to resolve the tension you are feeling with regard to your relationship, you need to get out of it.  Otherwise, you will only end up hurting yourself (and probably your partner) in the process of clinging to something that just isn't working the way you want it to.

Good luck! :heart:


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··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...

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