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Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA
    #6208461 -

I bought a leather couch from IKEA about 10 months ago.  A friend (not a very big friend even) just sat on the armrest of the couch.  The thing dented in.  It looks terrible now:





I could understand if this thing was 20 years old or something...but it's not even a year old.  And on top of that the couch was shoddily constructed to begin with.  Just look at one of the feet on the thing:



So, I am pissed.  I go to IKEA's web site to see if I can get some type of customer support.  The only thing available is this automated computer program called "Anna".  Here is "Anna" (the fucking ho-bag):



Here's how our conversation went:

Anna:  Welcome to IKEA.  I'm Anna, IKEA's U.S. Automated Online Assistant.  How can I help you today.

Me:  The couch I bought from you is falling apart.

Anna:  Please have a look at our fabric sofas.  (a window pops up with an IKEA sofa made out of fabric)

Me:  I don't want a fucking fabric sofa.  I want my sofa fixed.

Anna:  Please have a look at our fabric sofas.

Me:  Bitch, give me a real person.

Anna:  I will ignore these types of comments, can we talk about IKEA instead?"

Me:  You mean how much you guys suck DICK.

Anna:  I am not designed to understand or feel insults, although my knowledge will surely improve after this conversation.

Me:  DIE BITCH!

Anna:  Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never harm me.


:mad2:  That's when I closed the window.

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6208478 -

My buddy has the same couch it looks like, only in red. His actual seat crapped out after 2 months.


--------------------
Capliberty:

"I'll blow the hinges off your freakin doors with my trips, level 5 been there, I personally like x, bud, acid and shroom oj, altogether, do that combination, and you'll meet some morbid figures, lol
Hell yeah I push the limits and hell yeah thats fucking cool, dope, bad ass and all that, I'm not changing shit, I'm cutting to to the chase and giving u shroom experience report. Real trippers aren't afraid to go beyond there comfort zone "

:rofl:

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6208485 -

That is an awesome automated assistant.


--------------------
"You're a fully grown man! Of course you don't wanna
hold her hand, you wanna dick her!" -Grace Slick's
response to The Beatles' "I Wanna Hold Your Hand".
-This pic thanks to aNeway2sayHooray

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: Hank, FTW]
    #6208512 -

WTF? How are they allowed to get away with selling garbage?

I am going to burn that store to the fucking ground. These minimalist Swedish Aryan freaks and their crappy particle-board furniture.

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: doctor_gonzo]
    #6208515 -

i want to buy Anna

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: doctor_gonzo]
    #6208536 -

Are you looking for a fabric sofa?

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6208553 -

how much did you play? The store I work at sells nice sections for $600.


--------------------
Junkies United we stand , Devided we're sick as fuck.
-                  -                -
"Hallucinations are something heroin users are not at all accustomed to," said Const. Conor King, Victoria police drug expert. "They react like you or I would react if we took Aspirin and all of a sudden the TV got up and started walking across the room."
-                  -                -
Make drugs legal, or alcohol and tobacco illegal. Either way it's more fair.

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6208554 -

how much did you pay? The store I work at sells nice sections for $600.


--------------------
Junkies United we stand , Devided we're sick as fuck.
-                  -                -
"Hallucinations are something heroin users are not at all accustomed to," said Const. Conor King, Victoria police drug expert. "They react like you or I would react if we took Aspirin and all of a sudden the TV got up and started walking across the room."
-                  -                -
Make drugs legal, or alcohol and tobacco illegal. Either way it's more fair.

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: MustNotBe]
    #6208558 -

Are you Anna's automated brother?

P.S. $1000 dollars for that piece of leather-skinned crap.

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6208583 -

RandalFlagg said:
Anna: Welcome to IKEA. I'm Anna, IKEA's U.S. Automated Online Assistant. How can I help you today.

Me: The couch I bought from you is falling apart.

Anna: Please have a look at our fabric sofas. (a window pops up with an IKEA sofa made out of fabric)

Me: I don't want a fucking fabric sofa. I want my sofa fixed.

Anna: Please have a look at our fabric sofas.

Me: Bitch, give me a real person.

Anna: I will ignore these types of comments, can we talk about IKEA instead?"

Me: You mean how much you guys suck DICK.

Anna: I am not designed to understand or feel insults, although my knowledge will surely improve after this conversation.

Me: DIE BITCH!

Anna: Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never harm me.



That's the funniest automated customer service I've ever heard. Classic. I think I'm gonna go on that web site just to fuck around with Anna


--------------------
“Let’s put it this way – to lump psychedelic mushrooms into the same group as methamphetamine is like lumping the Bible into the same group as Mein Kampf.
I mean shit; they’re both books, right?”

Joe Rogan


R.I.P. - "Bones" - One of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know and become friends with.

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6208639 -

I bought my couch at a yard sale for $10, and it's comfortable as hell.


--------------------

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6208641 -

you got what you paid for :justdontknow:  :shineon:

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: Silversoul]
    #6208678 -

Silversoul said:
I bought my couch at a yard sale for $10, and it's comfortable as hell.


:mad: 

I hope you die on that thing.  :smirk:

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6208686 -

Corporal Kielbasa said:
you got what you paid for :justdontknow:  :shineon:


You have to spend $3,000 to get a halfway decent couch that will last?  Christ almighty.  I'll just sit on the floor.

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6208689 -

i just scored this awesome computer chair on the side of the road. like new, fully adjustable good support, the works. No arm rests though.

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6208704 -

Corporal Kielbasa said:
No arm rests though.


You get what you pay for. :stoned:

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6209077 -

Corporal Kielbasa said:
i just scored this awesome pissed on computer chair on the side of the road. like new, fully adjustable good support, the works. No arm rests though.



--------------------
If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit.
~Dr. Emmett Brown

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6209140 -

You paid a grand for a cardboard and faux leather couch? Damn. You strike me as a far more intelligent person than that.

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: cookeman]
    #6209160 -

cookeman said:
RandalFlagg said:
Anna: Welcome to IKEA. I'm Anna, IKEA's U.S. Automated Online Assistant. How can I help you today.

Me: The couch I bought from you is falling apart.

Anna: Please have a look at our fabric sofas. (a window pops up with an IKEA sofa made out of fabric)

Me: I don't want a fucking fabric sofa. I want my sofa fixed.

Anna: Please have a look at our fabric sofas.

Me: Bitch, give me a real person.

Anna: I will ignore these types of comments, can we talk about IKEA instead?"

Me: You mean how much you guys suck DICK.

Anna: I am not designed to understand or feel insults, although my knowledge will surely improve after this conversation.

Me: DIE BITCH!

Anna: Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never harm me.



That's the funniest automated customer service I've ever heard. Classic. I think I'm gonna go on that web site just to fuck around with Anna


i thought the same thing.. that shit was funny.

--

IKEA furniture is meant to be thrown away.. you just buy it and pray that it lasts as long as possible...

i'm sure if you talk to a real person, they'll tell you that you aren't supposed to sit on the arm-rests.

sucks...

yos-

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Re: Warning: Don't buy shit from IKEA [Re: Yoschie99]
    #6209599 -

yeah that shit definitely made me chuckle out loud...

Dude you should know IKEA is a bunch of shit though... For fucks sake I went into the one near me onetime and realized 1/4 of the way through the store that I didn't want to be there, whoops, once you go in you can only get out the exit at the other end.. if I would have known that I was only 1/4 of the way through it I would have gone back through the entrance... FUCK I do enough walking as it is!!!

Needless to say, I would never buy shit from a store that traps you like that

Thanks for spreadin the good word though!

Bottom line: FUCK IKEA AND THEIR CHEESY SHIT!


--------------------
please don't take away my highway shoes..

Write In Your Vote.com - US Politics. For the People, by the People.


Everything posted by the user(s) Headieherbs is either an outright lie or a work of complete fiction

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