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Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant
    #6130105 -

I. Body smells are erotic and sensual. Capitalists don't like that because they are impotent and opposed to all manifestations of sensuality and sexuality. Sexually-awakened people are potentially dangerous to capitalists and their rigid, asexual system.

II. Body smells remind us that we are animals. Capitalists don't want to be reminded of that. Animals are dirty. They eat things off the ground. They are openly sexual. They don't wear tuxedos or corsets or have their hair done.

III. Body smells are unique. Everyone has her own body smell. Capitalists don't like individuality. There are millions of body smells but only a few deodorant smells. Capitalists like that.

IV. Deodorants are harmful. Many capitalists like that because they are always looking for new illnesses to cure. Capitalists love to invent new medicines. Medicines make money for them and win them prizes. They also cause new illnesses so that they can invent even more medicines.

V. Deodorants cost you money. Capitalists are especially pleased about that.

VI. Deodorants hide the damage that capitalists' products cause to your body. Eating meat and other body pollutants sold by capitalists makes you smell. Wearing pantyhose makes you smell. Capitalists don't want you to stop wearing pantyhose or eating body pollutants.

VII. Deodorant-users are insecure. Capitalists like insecure people. Insecure people don't start trouble. Insecure people also buy room freshners, hair conditioners, and makeup.

VIII. Deodorants are unnecessary. Capitalists are very proud of that and they win marketing awards for it.

:mrclean:


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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #6130120 -

:whatever:


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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #6130141 -

When I first saw this I thought to myself "Sounds like the ramblings of a stinky hippie".  Then my first impressions were confirmed when I read the following line...
Quote:
Eating meat and other body pollutants sold by capitalists makes you smell.


I like meat.  And I don't think it is ever attractive or pleasant when someone smells like a locker room.




....oh, and BTW, patchouli oil just makes you smell like a patchouli-scented locker room.
:smirk:


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You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Silversoul]
    #6130143 -

What you don't like the smell of your pitts?

I go crazy when i smell a womens natural scent.

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6130147 -

Corporal Kielbasa said:
What you don't like the smell of your pitts?

I go crazy when i smell a womens natural scent.


I like the smell of my pits when I haven't been sweating all day. B.O. is not pleasant. But I was rolling my eyes more at the ridiculous claims made about capitalists.


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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Silversoul]
    #6130176 -

i see nothing wrong with the claims

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #6130188 -

So, either you're a capitalist or you stink?
Was that intended? :wink:


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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6130189 -

Damn hippies.


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Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #6130196 -

AlteredAgain said:
I. Body smells are erotic and sensual. Capitalists don't like that because they are impotent and opposed to all manifestations of sensuality and sexuality. Sexually-awakened people are potentially dangerous to capitalists and their rigid, asexual system.


Is this even remotely serious? Capitalists love sex more than anything else, as there is no other more intense natural desire. Capitalists want naked women to sell you pills which make you experience non-stop orgasms.

Could you maybe be thinking of Puritans?

AlteredAgain said:
II. Body smells remind us that we are animals. Capitalists don't want to be reminded of that. Animals are dirty. They eat things off the ground. They are openly sexual. They don't wear tuxedos or corsets or have their hair done.


Animals also act without thinking and will be willing to spend enormous amounts of money on an immediate benefit rather than planning for the future. Capitalists love animals.

Could you be thinking of paternalists?

AlteredAgain said:
III. Body smells are unique. Everyone has her own body smell. Capitalists don't like individuality. There are millions of body smells but only a few deodorant smells. Capitalists like that.


Capitalists would love to sell each and every person their own special brand of deodorant. If that were possible it would be the only known case of true 1st-degree price discrimination ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Price_discrimination#Types_of_price_discrimination ), an all-time goal of capitalism.

Could you be thinking of conformists?

AlteredAgain said:
IV. Deodorants are harmful. Many capitalists like that because they are always looking for new illnesses to cure. Capitalists love to invent new medicines. Medicines make money for them and win them prizes. They also cause new illnesses so that they can invent even more medicines.


This isn't right at all. Capitalists are looking to sell you things, preferably things that don't cost the capitalists very much money. New research into illnesses (and, indeed research into new illnesses, if we pretend that exists) definitely costs capitalists a lot of money. Ideally, capitalists would rather you buy things like the "Pet Rock".

Could you be thinking of pathologists?

AlteredAgain said:
V. Deodorants cost you money. Capitalists are especially pleased about that.


I think you missed the cause/effect on this one. Capitalists are pleased if selling deodorants makes them money. Taxes cost you money, but capitalists aren't happy about taxes.

Could you be thinking of sadists?

AlteredAgain said:
VI. Deodorants hide the damage that capitalists' products cause to your body. Eating meat and other body pollutants sold by capitalists makes you smell. Wearing pantyhose makes you smell. Capitalists don't want you to stop wearing pantyhose or eating body pollutants.


Nothing you put into (or onto) your body creates any level of odor that even remotely compares with the amount generated by ever-present bacteria.

Could you be thinking of bacterial activists?

AlteredAgain said:
VII. Deodorant-users are insecure. Capitalists like insecure people. Insecure people don't start trouble. Insecure people also buy room freshners, hair conditioners, and makeup.


Capitalists don't like people who won't spend money, and insecure people definitely don't spend money (for fear of regret, running out, inability to make up their minds, etc.).

Could you be thinking of President Bush?

AlteredAgain said:
VIII. Deodorants are unnecessary. Capitalists are very proud of that and they win marketing awards for it.


Again, the goal of capitalists is to make money, not convince people of anything. If a capitalist could sell you something without spending a dime on advertising, he would never bother with it. Furthermore, if a capitalist convinces you of something, but it fails to make money for him, he has failed.

Could you be thinking of people without olfactory senses?

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #6130206 -

I am currently eating a steak calzone (yummy), checking on my investments with Vanguard investment firm (capitalists unite!), and I am wearing Axe deoderant (you know...the brand that the commercials show chicks going nuts over).


P.S. The deoderant doesn't work the way it does in the commercials.

P.P.S. B.O. is gross.

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6130210 -

Corporal Kielbasa said:
i see nothing wrong with the claims


Economist summed up my thoughts pretty well.


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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Economist]
    #6130217 -

Economist said:
Capitalists want naked women to sell you pills which make you experience non-stop orgasms.


Fuck yeah, sign me up.

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6130219 -

RandalFlagg said:
Economist said:
Capitalists want naked women to sell you pills which make you experience non-stop orgasms.


Fuck that, girls are icky.



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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Economist]
    #6130224 -

fresh sweat is hot, 2 or 3 day old sweat stinks like cat ass. People that shower often don't need deoderant, well atleast i don't......

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #6130226 -

Girls aren't icky...they're just scary to us non-alpha males. That's why we have Axe deoderant to level the playing field.

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6130231 -

Corporal Kielbasa said:
fresh sweat is hot, 2 or 3 day old sweat stinks like cat ass. People that shower often don't need deoderant, well atleast i don't......


I've smelled my clothes after working out at the gym. It's not pleasant.


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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Silversoul]
    #6130235 -

sure ok you smell.......

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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6130236 -

Girls aren't scary, they're dumb.  :grin:


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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6130241 -

Corporal Kielbasa said:
sure ok you smell.......


I bet you do too, and just don't know it.


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Re: Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #6130242 -

:rofl:

This is some of the dumbest shit I have ever heard.

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