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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #5984802 -

he must have one if he rents an app....otherwise i would have said the same thing.


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We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #5984805 -

i have one. i do computer animation. not nearly enough. my insanely hard schedule is starting soon so i dont think ill have time for 2 jobs.
whatever im going to stop whining and complainginag and jsut go to bed. at least then ill stop feeling and ill wake up feeling better


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"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5985657 -

"its a butterfly effect, everyone word we say has either hate or love behind it along with every action we make has hate or love behind it.

words and actions."

i just wrote that in another post but i thought by chance it might be relevent, althow i don't feel like rereading this entire thread to find out.

reguarding the quote above, i believe some people are more sensitive than others to such things.

so is it possible your a person that is super sensitive to these things and thats what is holding you back?

i know you wanted people who knew exactly how you feel to post about this but honestly....everyone feels things a little different and nobody "NOBODY" feels exactly like you do....maybe im wrong but not likely.

but it sounds like you have some things to work out mentally and also general life problems.

purhaps you should consider living on campus? it would bring you closer to more people and maybe loosen you up some...at the same time maybe save some money?


i do have a question thow what do you do for fun, hobbies, ect.? you spend alot of time "feeling" but other than sitting around doing that or talking to people<---how often by the way?

you need a balanced life, activities and then the mental stuff....it sounds like you do 2 much of the mental so work on the activities.


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #5988400 -

Yeah, I have no solution to your problems but I can give you a load of empathy. I know the feelings you are describing and still continuously fight them. I can't pinpoint any single thing that made my life better. It's like everyone has said so far, it takes time. One thing that does help is talking about it, to anyone, like you've done here. By now you should be able to come to the realization that EVERYONE has crazy, depressed, anxious moments rather they admit it or not. If you listen to those thoughts to much they will fuck you. Think positive thoughts, get some exercise (should help with that always feeling tired bit), eat better, and for god's sake spend more time in the world and less time in your head. Trust me, to much time in one's own head is dangerous territory for anyone.

If you just read that and thought that's all easy for you to say but much harder for me to do then just remember one thing. Nothing worth doing or having is ever going to be easy.

Edit: One last thought is on medication. I've taken them and they did make me happy but I felt like it was a fake happiness and when I stopped all my problems hit me again but this time like a freight train. The only thing that made me feel better was finally just coming to a point where I broke down, cryed a bit, got all my problems on the table, and started dealing with them from there with a little moral support of a loved one. Not saying they don't help people and that you shouldn't take them just throwing my experience out there to help you make an informed decision.

Edited by nugjug (08/22/06 11:45 PM)

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: nugjug]
    #5988854 -

thanks nugjug :smile:

actually.. i forgot what happened. i think i was watching this video about NLP or body language when i realized about frames. i had an incredibly WEAK frame. i would look at EVERYONE as someone i could learn from, not an equal. i felt honored to be around a lot of people when i hsouldn't have. i felt like my frame always got sucked into theirs.

the night a few pages ago where i said fuck everything, that worked for a little while but i still had a weak frame, thats why it faded

but last night i mentally restructured my frame. i went out tonight and i actually had a very strong frame. so much in fact that i got in a lot of arguments with this kid i had hung out with before. hes a FOAF. i also made a lot of other people laugh in the car where i would have normally stayed quiet.

the thing i dont want to do is overshoot my boundries... i can see this getting out of hand because i have to recalibrate. for example we were smoking hookah and my one buddy is like me. he fought through a bunch of shit, and is really laid back/works with girls. his friend though is always talking, and sack riding (kind of funny.. i KNOW i did that, and now it annoys the hell on me being on the other side). i would say random comments to girls and he would take everything im saying and put it into his own interpretation.

me to girl at other table: "hey! get on your telephone!" (I put a styrafoam cup up to my ear)
her: hahaha, we dont have one!
me: well you should get one, theyre all the rage now adays.
her: haha right on

then i turn back and hes like "well that spitting game didnt work."

i was like ... wtf dude, i wasnt spitting game. there were multiple other times where my friend would be talking to girls and hed be like "wow.. just LOOK at him spit game." i would turn to him and be like in a bitter way "its not reallly hard ot talk to a girl for 3 minutes..."

just everything he said pissed me off, and i know normally i would have agreed with things even if i didn't really concur.

it seems there are 3 levels. i am at level 2 and i need to move to level 3

-talk about it all the time, but doesnt do it (my FOAF)
-dont talk about it, does it sometimes, and gets annoyed by the level below (me)
-doesnt talk about it, accepts everything on the level below (my friend)

i just have to learn to deal with poeoples shit now and not get hostile, as our frames are interacting.


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"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

Edited by Limelight (08/23/06 07:57 AM)

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5988863 -

I didn't read through all 7 pages of this, so someone might have said the same thing I'm about to...

Go camping/hiking for a week by yourself, or get fixed up with some small cabin in the middle of nowhere. Point is, isolate yourself for a bit. If you can find a nice cabin, take some puzzles, novels (I reccomend Dracula), anything to get your mind off the "real world."

Find somewhere you can hike that's fairly untrecked and find some waterfalls, rivers, creeks, or caves. Get away from all the hustle bustle of responsability for a week or so. Just worry about surviving and living. You wouldn't believe it, but isolation in beautiful nature, alone, is a very uplifting experiance.

Even if you think, "Oh I hate camping that wouldn't work for me" or "I don't know shit about camping" just forget all that and go do it. Tents/sleeping bags aren't that expensive. You can get an awesome lantern from walmart for 2 bucks that works forever. It doesn't even have to be a hike and camp deal, just drive your car somewhen and set up camp.

Ahh, sorry, I rant. But you get the idea. Pm me if you're really interested, I can give you lots of pointers.


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When the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro.

-H. S. Thompson

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5988929 -

I'm not sure if i have the same thing, but i do know i have S.A.D (social anxiety).  There have been tons of times when I could honestly say I should have felt incredibly comfortable (especialy with ppl ive known for years) and yet it would still creep up on me.   

Here's a shroomery link that opened my eyes to it and pinpointed exactly what i had:
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1849862&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1

Here's a website describing in detail the meds for it: http://www.socialfear.com/

All of them say that in the end, it takes Cognitive-behavioral therapy to 'permanently' fix it, along with a bit of drugs maybe.

Personaly, i still deal with it day to day.  The only time I feel a bit better is when I come out of my shell and actualy stay confident for more than just 1 minute at a time.  The more often you do this, the better it'll get.

:sun:


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~Happy sailing~

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: RuNE]
    #5988945 -

thanks rune!

im about to read that thread now. what exactly did you do to help with it?

and i know too! when im around freinds for years i still get it.. how ridiculous...


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"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5988997 -

wow.. read that.. thats definitely what i have. i dont have it to that extreme, but i definitely have al ittle bit. i never htink people are watching me, and i love to make random conversation with strangers. but i do get fears that people are judging me all the time and even with friends ive been with a long time i feel like theyre critically analyzing me. i think i have a mild case of it or something...


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"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5989025 -

I felt the same way when i read it. If those S.A.D situations were a '5' on a 1-5 scale, i can honestly say I was a good 4 for most of my life. As of right now it fluctuates. I've been able to be the center of attention in a group of people older than me at a business meeting, and i did fine. However, personaly i only feel really confident (and not care what people around me think) when im with a good FRIEND. At that meeting my really cool sis was with me, and that gave me confidence to speak my mind, make jokes, etc.

The part of that article that hit me the most was "This is the only anxiety disorder where the patient KNOWS they have no reason to be anxious. They understand no one is judging them, but the feelings of anxiety remain."

I usualy get this when im eating in a foodcourt. I constantly wipe my mouth with a napkin after every bite of my burger to make sure there's no crap on my chin. I know it's dumb, but i cant help but feel like im being watched. If a friend is there, i can relax.

The only advice i can give you from personal experience, is to not let it win. Make jokes, have fun, be energetic, and most importantly, if you DO screw up, CALL IT OUT. Laugh at yourself!

Think about it. You're making a presentation, and you do something embarassing cuz you're a bit clumsy/nervous whatever. Do you pretend it didnt happen and keep going (creating an awkward situation) or do you make a crack about it? Make a joke about your screw ups and people will laugh and make you feel comfortable, because they know it could've happened to them too.

Even tho i've made progress, i still feel i could give cognitive therapy a try. Having a weaker fast acting med on hand would help too. I just dont have the $$ for either of these right now.


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~Happy sailing~

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: RuNE]
    #5989046 -

HAHA! i do that too. i have 50 napkins on hand at all time.

i feel like im a 4 on a scale from 1-10. i like to go out and make random conversation, but i have all the other symptoms. DEFINITELY the one that says you know its irrational. thats what screws with my head the most becuase i feel like im defective and i cant win


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"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5989127 -

holy shit! that entire thread is SO true. ive been searching for the 'answer' for years and years.. thats it. icant believ eit, EVERY thing in there is what i have, and it drives me nuts cause no one can understand. i guess in reality its true.

you said ego loss triphelped? i thought about that but backed away because i felt like i was a schizo almost, and i didnt want to fuck myself up :frown: i feel like is hould do that...


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"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5989131 -

the funny thing is that i realize all the symptoms of this illness are the result from perceptions that are in a cyclical relationship.

like.. the reason you think others are judging you is because you are judging them. the reason you think you are 'better' than other people is because thats your minds way of dealing with it. its funny how the mind goes the opposite way..


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"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5989206 -

Heh, well whatever reply i made in that thread was done years ago.  If i mentioned ego loss in that one, then yeah, i guess that put things in perspective for me.

At this point in time, I feel like its a lot of 'little things' added up that helps.  Like i said, the more you defy against these dumb feelings and just have fun and not be scared to speak your mind in a social situation, you should be ok.  You need to remember to click your confidence into high gear if you're in a social situation and feel that anxiety is creeping up on you. 

Since i havent gone into any sort of therapy i have no idea what advice to give you other than that.  :shrug:


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~Happy sailing~

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: RuNE]
    #5989254 -

well has yours gotten a lot better? like could you ask a girl out now where you might not have before?


--------------------
"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5989917 -

thats funny it was years ago too. do you feel much improved since that time long ago when you discovered it?


--------------------
"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."

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Re: What's wrong with me? [Re: Limelight]
    #5989971 -

Limelight said:
ok FUCK im just going to be myself today and if i have anxiety it can suck my dick. im going today and do EVERYTHIGN that my mind says 'do that' but im worried to. ZING


That's kind of what you have to do. Anxiety and paranoia are states of mind that make you believe things that simply aren't true. Listen to the wisdom of the Kottonmouth Kings. (Yeah, yeah, they're burnouts blah blah stoner music but their earlier stuff had a point to it.) "Take advantage of every situation you're placed in." You have to look at each event in your life as a situation presented to you, and create the best possible outcome. I took those words to heart and I feel I'm becoming a better person for it. Give it a shot.

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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