soulcircus said:

definatly keep away from the anti depressents, its the worst situation to use them in and will not help you at all.

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tool_head said:

Back when I was little, I had what I pictured the "perfect family". It consisted of my mother, my father, my dog Mookie and I (my sister was not yet born). We lived in a somewhat poor neighborhood but I was extremely happy regardless. My parents loved and cared for me, I played sports with my dad and little league baseball, and my mother was always there to support me and talk to me. She helped me with my homework and made sure I did well in school. I was a straight A student. Everything was great.

A few years later, we moved to a new town. My parents began to argue consistently. They would shut the door and all I would hear was yelling and screaming. No physical violence, but witnessing the vulgarity scarred me emotionally. I still remember the feelings of dread as I witness them shouting at the top of their lungs. I cried. A year later, my father, an attorney, moved to an apartment a town away. There was a lot of turmoil and my mother warned me that my parents might get divorced. This scared the shit out of me. While they never got legally divorced, they have been separated for around three years now. They are as distant as could be. They both claim to love and care about me but our relationships are nonexistant. The only time I talk to my mother, who I live with, is when I want food or money to go out and do drugs with my friends. My father, who I do not live with, often stops by and he too makes small talk sometimes but that's the furthest extent. Once in a while he'll theorize about where I could go to college or something but nothing more than that. I sit in my room all day on my computer or go out with my friends. Not to mention my grades have gone to shit.

I have memories of my father enraged. He's punched holes in the walls when I took a detour when I was supposed to meet him at my Grandma's because I thought I saw a suspicious gang. He's smashed a rolltop desk in front of me while screaming at the top of his lungs because I misplaced after he bought me a video card. He's literally kicked my ass up the stairs of my house- hard too. He's flipped out on MANY occasions like this; these are just the ones that come to mind. I am forever frightened of my father. I am literally fucking afraid of him.

A few minutes ago I was caught sniffing Oxycontin outside my house by mom who I apparently woke up. She screamed at me and went back to bed. I find it ironic that she should yell at me for waking her up and not even care that I was sniffing drugs right in front of her.

My parents:
-Buy me _everything_ I want. No questions asked.

-Cook for me.

-Take me places.

-Look at my report card when it comes.

That's about it. I feel like they don't give a shit about me at all. I have no aim in life and I don't know what to with myself and they haven't given me any guidance or support whatsoever. It's been like this for several years now. They claim to love me and my mom obligates me to hug and kiss her all the time but I really think she is just a zoloft dependent bitch who's afraid of being seen as a "bad mother". My parents do not talk to each other ever really and I believe they are both dating other people (I have no clue if they actually are or not - like I said, we rarely talk.)

My mother put me in therapy and insists that I am prescribed to some sort of anti-depressant. I think she just wants to give me a "quick fix" and not realize her own faults. I don't think any drug in the world could possibly mend this shattered relationship. It feels terrible and like I stated earlier, I'm more fucking confused than I've ever been. Guess I'll keep playing computer games and doing drugs all day. I don't know what else to do. Fuck this.

I really need help from someone, somehow. I'm going insane. I've considered taking my own life before but I don't think that I'd actually commit to it. I'm too much of a pussy. Oh yeah, and I have court tommorrow in three or four hours for possession of marijuana that I didn't even have, the cop straight up lied. I can't stand this anymore. Help me. Someone.

This Oxycontin is at least making things seem a hell of a lot easier. I feel a LITTLE bit less like a worthless piece of shit right now. Maybe I will go jerk off to porn as I'll never get laid myself let alone kiss a girl.

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TheMadConductor said:

5. FIND A GIRL, its not that hard, you just have to be yourself with people, and if you like a girl, give her some hints, shit will work out.

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Don't take chicks seriously until 23+ I say! ( just to add to your sage advise TMC )