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Re: SHIT stories [Re: riby]
    #5022537 -

Quote:
... shit before you trip.


never!


--------------------
TRUMP 2020

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Mcdoopy]
    #5022538 -

today i was driving home from work and i really had to shit bad, like when you feel the inside of your intestins sting... well, when i got home, i had to wait for a bus to cross the street, then i dropped my keys, and fumbled the gate opening, then when i got to the door, i unlocked it, but the deadbolt was locked too... so i had to use a seperate key for that (way lame) and then i ran into the bathroom, had to take off my jacket, sweater, back belt with ID lanyard, threw it on the ground, had to untuck my shirt and loosen my belt, lift the toilite seat, but got both instead, so i had to put one down, praire doggin the whole time, and slammed into the seat like jim carrey in dumb and dumber...

and damn did it feel good....


when i was like 8 or so, my dog, a huge boxer, was in my room, and somehow the door got shut so he couldnt just go out... so that night he got the shits... REALLY BAD.. i woke up with shit everywhere... i had a room that was about 15x12, and you looked everywhere and there was shit covering everything.. even on my bed and blankets, the floor, toys, everywhere immaginable... it was so disgusting, i even stepped in some on my way out... thank god my mom cleaned it up...


--------------------
On a mission to prove that the truth gets you no where.
They tried the truth, It didn't work. Then they wrote the bible. 

Only the foolish fear the inevitable.

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Cowgold]
    #5022587 -

that aint nuthin... you want a good RV shit story.. listen up...

my mom, brother, and i lived in this rv for about 2 years on the beach, in an rv park... so occasionaly the shittter get's backed up, and we have this angle that you hook your exit hose up to (between the rv and the exit hose) that has a water hose attachment that shoots high pressure into the tank to blast any shit thats clogged...(like this one)  we also had this wand that you could shove down the toilite to mix things up.. well, we didnt use the wand much cause the angle piece worked even better.

anyway, one day it occoured to us that the shit in the tank is rising, so i turned the hose on and it didnt help out...  so i left it on for awhile and nothing... tried the wand out... nothing.. so after about a day of trying the shit, the tank was nearly full, to where it was definetly a problem... 

so i carefully removed the hose attachment to see a wall of brown just at the valve opening, so hours of a nozel shotting at this did nothing... it was crazy... so i knew i had to stick it with something to breat it loose... so i got the wand and kinda stuck it, then put the hose back on real quick... nothing... so i did it again, and again, but this time, i was really set on gettin it goin... so i stuck the wand in, about an inch or so through the turd wall, and then i pulled it out...

BLAM 40 gallons of shit started to blast smack dab in the center of my chest... i quickly got the hose back on, but i had shit all on my chest and arms... it was disgusting...  luckily my brother was there to watch... cause it never got old hearin about it... :smirk:


--------------------
On a mission to prove that the truth gets you no where.
They tried the truth, It didn't work. Then they wrote the bible. 

Only the foolish fear the inevitable.

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Phychotron]
    #5022600 -

haha  :shitstorm:

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Phychotron]
    #5022601 -

My wife thought it was a fart, but a little round poopy ball shot out from her shorts. Shhh... She told me not to tell anyone.

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Mcdoopy]
    #5023099 -

I got fed activated charcoal after I od'd on ghb...my ex-husband was already pissed at me for being such an idiot but, um, I guess activatied charcoal gives you the shits because it was all in the bed the next morning...on me and him.

He was pissed. i, on the other hand was highly amused because I finally got payback for the time he came home drunk and pissed on my back in the middle of the night.

Marraige is not pretty....


--------------------
All statements in this post are fictitious.

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: janelle1502]
    #5023154 -

lol!!! holy shit, in every possibly way of saying it! this is the funniest thread ive read in ages! :hehehe:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."


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