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SHIT stories
    #5018586 -

anybody got any shit stories?  Everybody does so don't lie, just think a lil harder. 

here's one of a friend of mine.  I'll post mine later...

his name is Willard (changed for security reasons)
Willard and two of his friends went on a trip about 45 minutes from his house.  They kinda just chilled there and did whatever it was  they were gonna do.  Well, Willard started getting sick and asked to start heading back.  About 10 minutes into the ride he started throwing up out the window.  It was all spewed down the side of the truck and then started dry heaving after a while.  While he was dry heaving he started shitting his pants too.  haha, he rode all the way back home with shit in his pants and two buddies that couldn't decide if they were gonna laugh at him and breathe in his toxins or hold their breath.  :tongue2:

My other story is way better but... i'll post it after a while

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Cowgold]
    #5018609 -

We came back from the skatepark one day and big tough buddy all of the sudden shits his pants. Got made fun of all through highschool.

Sells coke now.... fuckin tough guy shit his pants though. BWAHAHAHA


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When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: browndustin]
    #5018623 -

bodily functions suck!


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: leery11]
    #5018626 -

leery11 said:
bodily functions suck!


Fuck that. When you're tripping yeah, but every day I look forward to shitting.

I fucking love taking a shit. I love all the different kinds - the pops, the sliders, the explosions, the drips. There's a whole world inside my bowels and I love getting to know it better every day.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: leery11]
    #5018627 -

leery11 said:
bodily functions suck!


:werd:


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May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #5018631 -

:what:

:lol: w/e works for ya man


--------------------
May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: thegatewaydrug]
    #5019509 -

I slipped in dog poo and busted my ass today, while carrying a pillowcase full of cow shit out into the back yard to drain. The bag of cow dookie landed on the front of my jeans and I sat in the pile of dog shit... How's that? (I didn't think it was funny at all)  :enraged:


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........someday I'll find it.

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #5019526 -

OneMoreRobot3021 said:
I fucking love taking a shit. I love all the different kinds - the pops, the sliders, the explosions, the drips.  There's a whole world inside my bowels and I love getting to know it better every day.


:lol:

My friend Brandon once shit himself while stuck in traffic. Said he thought it was a fart, but got a surprise turd instead.

We never really stopped making fun of him for it :smirk:


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Cowgold]
    #5019539 -

i once witnessed what 6 laxatives can do to a boy...

felt so bad about it, because i knew it was happening but didn't stop it, and i was 'directly' involved in it, too.. what happened was he was making fun of one of my buddie's girlfriends or some stupid highschool shit, so he gave him some "acid"

what's so cool about it, i guess, was he honestly thought he was high until the shits hit him.

>=\
i also once shat in the bathtub and played with it in my younger days.

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: mediman0078]
    #5019554 -

I remember in my sophmore year of highschool going to this party and one of my female classmates was dunk as shit. Well, later that night I get a call from her friend who lived right up the street from me. She had this drunk girl stay the night and she had apparantly gone to the bathroom and "made a mess". My help was requested. I went over to this girl's house and was led upstairs to the "scene". I remember the farther I walked up the stairs, the more apparant the smell of SHIT became. She led me into the bathroom and it looked like a dirty poop murder had taken place. There was SHIT EVERYWHERE! Smeared hand prints on the walls, the floor, all over the toilet, and all over this passed out girl. I helped drag her into this girl's room on a towel. We wanted to leave and go back to this party and didn't want to take her with, so we left her. This girl changed her friend's poop laden clothes and put a plastic bag by her so she would have somewhere to vomit.....then...we left. We were the only two that knew of this until I told my friends, and then so on and so on......


--------------------
"...now waters run free, no more fish in the sea..."
1983-2004

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Cowgold]
    #5019570 -

In 5th grade I was walking down the hall and diara squirted down my leg. I tried to whip it up and finished the day out.


--------------------
TRUMP 2020

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: XUL]
    #5019640 -

Damnit I thought I was going to be all original with my 5th grade shart.

You bastard.  My fame is ruined :crankey:

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Blek]
    #5021423 -

A friend of mine used to get groups of people to eat chinese food, then everyone would cut up the dried peppers used for seasoning and swallow them whole.

Eventually, when people went to the crapper, screams of agony would echo through the house.


--------------------
"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: DrMambo]
    #5021478 -

Just about 2 years a few buddies and I were just driving all around throughout the night. We were all trying out best to sicken the other by conjuring up some really rank farts.

Well, I was up to bat, but it didn't feel as if I had anything to give. So, I reach deep down and with a mighty force from the sphincter muscle and my awesome determination...I shit myself. Plain and simple. Instead of a horrid gas exiting my anal canal, there is now a pile of fudge-like feces in my pants.

Well, the entire smell hit everyone in the car and guys were immediately gagging. So, they drove me as fast as they could home. I showered, scrubbed, and rinsed. Clean!

We all went back out, but no one could help the laughter.


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #5022270 -

I was about 17 and went on vacation with my parents. My dad and uncle had just bought a brand new RV motor coach (the carpet had plastic on it still) and we were takin it for a spin first. We started out from Texas and was gonna drive all over the country and do the usual vacation junk. The bathrooms on these things are a pretty tight fit, sit down and your knees touch the wall.

I had joked to my step mom a little bit about not using the little bathroom cause it's all complicated with step peddle flushes and what not.
Well after a week we pull into a KOA near Aspen and start hooking up the service lines... electric, water, sewage. I was helping my dad plug it all up and asked, "Is this hooked up right?" Silence. "Hey, Dad! Did I hook this up right?" Silence. "Is it right?" Silence. So I figured it was right.

My dad heads into the store to get a fishing license and I go inside to use the scary bathroom. I cleared everyone out of the coach telling my stepmom, "Could you guys go outside and do something i've gotta use this little restroom and yeah could you just go outside?"
So now I've got the whole thing to myself. I go in and start my business. Halfway through I hear a gurggling sound and look down. Blue water is rising, WTF? I pinch off and stand up lean back and like a dumbass I step on the flush pedal. All of a sudden a geyser of blue and brown water shoots all over the inside of the bathroom. I immediately had my shit covered pants off and started running around the inside of the coach in my briefs cursing everything, "I've got shit on me, there's shit everywhere!" Meanwhile my dad is in the store telling fellow RV'rs about our new rig, points to it and sees blue water shooting out a breathe hole on the top.

I hooked the water into the flush sewage spout and we never opened the exit valve. We spent the rest of the day cleaning the coach. It had shitwater in the airvents, parts of the carpet, and in the storage compartments below.

Good times good times.

Edited by Cowgold (12/06/05 08:04 AM)

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Cowgold]
    #5022331 -

Wow, that IS a good one!  :lolz0rz: :handth:

I don't have much to contribute to shit stories... it's already been said. I had the friend who while trying to fart, chunked... he tried to pull his undies out far enough to allow the nugget to roll down his pant leg while he was a-shaking it out... gross. :laugh:


--------------------
........someday I'll find it.

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: mediman0078]
    #5022492 -

I was walking home from the train when I was 13 one hot summer day.  It's a half hour walk and I was 15 minutes into it.  The sun was really getting to me, as was the pea soup that I had at lunch that day.  It was one of those, "get to a bathroom now" shits.  So I figured I could go in a bush and use leaves, but didn't really want to get caught shitting in somebody's bushes.  I continued on my walk using the oh-so-famous clench method.  So with my ass tightly clenched I waddled home...  I was happy I was almost there, everything was great, my house was in sight.  Unfortunately I was using all my brain power to utilize the clench method at this point and was so excited about getting to a toilet that in all the excitement I lifted my leg to cross over our fence...  Needless to say by doing that I unclenched the crucial second cheek and let forth a tidal wave of shit.  Down both legs, on both shoes.  A thick creamy shit, reminiscent of spoiled pea soup.  The worst part was the cleanup afterward.

:goatse: :poop:

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: Mcdoopy]
    #5022507 -

damn that shit musta been right at the opening of the ass just waiting for it to open.


--------------------
TRUMP 2020

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: XUL]
    #5022525 -

Lucky for me my anus is rated to withstand pressures of up to 120PSI... I would judge by the force at which it exited me that it must have been near that.

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Re: SHIT stories [Re: XUL]
    #5022526 -

... shit before you trip.

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