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My brain went down the drain...
    #4901144 -

I started using recreational drugs when I was 16...I used pretty heavily...I am now 18 and have quit using, mainly for the following.  I noticed during those two years that my cognition and most notably my speech went to shit.  I used to be such a well spoken person...my thoughts would flow like fluid and I felt really good to express myself.  Now I second guess everything I begin to say and it comes out like ground meat.  I even second guess myself  while making a post to check for clarity...  I am extremely frustated with myself because I figured after being sober (its been 5 months) for this long that i would be coming back to normal or at least on the path back to normal.  I am wondering if anyone has had this problem or similar..user or non...and what you may have done to help yourself back to a normal feeling of brain/speech operation. :frown:


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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: psilog]
    #4901187 -

Yeah, I was the same way in High School during years of heavy smoking (herb). Quitting the pot helped tremendously, and getting back into reading books helped the words to flow a lot better again, on and off the pages. It always feels like you're never quite 100% though, I guess that's a trade off of engaging in rec. drug use. Either way, the change isn't going to happen overnight, it takes years.


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To find a place to live between the negatives and positives.

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: Holydiver]
    #4901251 -

you are Holy...thank you for that bit of relief, I just needed to hear that I am not doomed to this way of thought.


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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: psilog]
    #4902049 -

if you dont mind my asking, which drugs did you use and which do you think affected you the worst? i smoked weed dailly for a couple years and my mind hasnt been the same since. ive been doing spiritual practises to try to raise my awareness and that seems to be helping, the more aware i am of what i am saying the better i am able to control it.

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: porcupine]
    #4902284 -

Basically anything that was running around my high school. I never have tried tweak..but coke was fun, lsd, mushrooms, ecstasy, nitrous, oxycontin, lots of marijuana, and lots of prescrips. E fucked me up emotionally but that seemed to be temporary. I would roll and for two or so weeks after I would have ZERO control of my emotions...I burst into tears one day in class for the slightest thing...really fucking shitty feeling, but only temporary. Marijuana is still what I think affected me the most. I smoked daily for a good year and that was a definite fry brain period...


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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: psilog]
    #4903327 -

yeah im the same situation, but my time period is a bit greater.

I was a very well composed and above average critical thinker when i was young and when i was 15 or 16 i started smoking pot, quickly it turned to daily... Since then ive done over 50 drugs and most in pretty decent qualities, i abused cocaine for 3 or 4 months, I ate acid a couple times a week awhile, high doses of mushrooms, GBL and 1-4 iso overdoses, sniffed poppers, eaten hundreds of beans, at one point i did about 1/2oz of MDMA to my head in about 3 months...

Anyways, you get the picture. Im very bumbly and uncertain when i speak - if its something im passionate about, it flows but the Physical act of speaking is a challenge - i mumble alot and am very unclear and appear hesitant. My vocabulary has gone way down, and my creativity levels have drained..

im 20 now by the way, and ive been mostly completely sober since june - but now i drink (which must stop.)

i certainly hope i can regain my brain enough to engage and excell in post secondary education + a normal social life, at some point.

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: headset]
    #4903504 -

could it also be possible you are blaming certain things on your drug use, when in fact they developed due to other reasons?


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

Edited by kotik (11/07/05 06:17 AM)

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: kotik]
    #4903509 -

You'll be fine after a while... Just try and read books, have conversations and hang out with people that still have a good speech and everything... It'll come back step by step :wink:

For now on don't do drugs untill you're back to normal or at least try keep it at a minimum!


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"This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer."

"Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: Brakkie]
    #4903549 -

hi psilog and headset...

most of this sounds familiar to me. by the time i learned that there was a difference between casual recreational drug use and abuse changes had already occured in me. once brain chemistry becomes unbalanced it can become a slippery slope that some never recover from. glad you caught it...

under a doctors supervision i have been using diet, excercise and specific supplements that helped pull me out of this fog rather quickly. i also set aside some time each day to read, which i feel is equally important.

hope this helps

peace

cateyes

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: headset]
    #4903550 -



Im very bumbly and uncertain when i speak - if its something im passionate about, it flows but the Physical act of speaking is a challenge -



This is what frustates me the most. I too can speak very well when it`s something I really have a strong opinion on. The feeling is great. When I spill a line of words while in that situation, I love the feeling. I feel as if the contents in my skull are being tickled. The feeling of certainly is what I miss most of all.


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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: kotik]
    #4904418 -

kotik said:
could it also be possible you are blaming certain things on your drug use, when in fact they developed due to other reasons?


Well, perhaps im not *blaming* the physical and direct effects of the drugs.. but the effect the drugs had on my lifestyle, which in turn lead me away from books, and healthy social life.

yeah, in my case it could be alot of things... ive had 8 or 9 serious concussions and just about died once, ive listened to alot of loud music, pushed my bodys limits in strange and unhealthy ways..

either way, ive noticed extensive cognitive decline and would like to have my wits about me, and a steady temperment.

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: psilog]
    #4904436 -

The feeling that my brain has gone down the drain sucks... yet everyday I struggle to tell myself that the joints I am about to consume won't add up. I have smoked weed multiple sessions a day for the past 3 years with hardly any let up. I started to feel like I had lost control of my mind about 6 months ago but it has been a constant battle to quit. I can never tell if its ADD (which I know I have had ever since I started school) or if my mind is fucked... I wish I had some answers for ya but I can't even help myself. All I know is quitting is hard but I think it needs to be done, eventually you will either adjust to your brain damage or it will come back I guess.


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I do not grow anything illegal.
I do not sell anything.
I am, however, a very curious individual.
I also try to be helpful.

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: FreedomFight]
    #4905115 -

harder than quitting is...

waiting to notice a change, after you quit.

with pot, you'll notice clarity in a couple weeks and eventually you'll beat the reward process...

but waiting, with no reward just sobreity and a less adequete mind is hard...

how long, how long...

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: headset]
    #4908011 -

Quote:
Well, perhaps im not *blaming* the physical and direct effects of the drugs.. but the effect the drugs had on my lifestyle, which in turn lead me away from books, and healthy social life.



ah, i can def. relate to that. especially the reading thing. none of my friends read in high school that liked to party.


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: headset]
    #4909958 -

I have found that quitting and the whole process of trying to find a sense or normality, has really boosted my introspect. I have learned a great deal about myself that I doubt otherwise would have occured this early in my life.


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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: psilog]
    #4910263 -

reading books really helps your language


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God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: FreedomFight]
    #4911070 -

FreedomFight said:
The feeling that my brain has gone down the drain sucks... yet everyday I struggle to tell myself that the joints I am about to consume won't add up. I have smoked weed multiple sessions a day for the past 3 years with hardly any let up. I started to feel like I had lost control of my mind about 6 months ago but it has been a constant battle to quit. I can never tell if its ADD (which I know I have had ever since I started school) or if my mind is fucked... I wish I had some answers for ya but I can't even help myself. All I know is quitting is hard but I think it needs to be done, eventually you will either adjust to your brain damage or it will com
e back I guess.



my advice is to quit RIGHT NOW. i too putting off quitting weed long past the time where i knew i should quit and i really regret it. you dont realize the full extent of the way it affects you until you quit.

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: Deviate]
    #4911182 -

my biggest problem is motor coordination and apparent dyslexia.

i've noticed recently that i'm to the point where i don't understand what i see in the mirror.... like .... in tai chi, i looked in the mirror and of course, right/left are crossed, so i was like "wtf i'm suppose to use my left leg" and tried to do a kick with it, then i was like "no dammit, the mirror just confused you!"

even if I'm looking at someone who is facing me, and they are trying to demonstrate something that utilizes principles of right and left it can confuse me some times.

But is it the drugs? My dad was never good with verbal skills, etc, and I was always amazed by that, and just gradually it feels like I'm turning into him.

All I know is my cognitive decline is more to blame with me [edit: i left out the word "being" i do stuff like that a lot more since i started smoking] conditioned to hate school (by being made fun of for being smart and KILLING any motivation .....) than it is for doing drugs.

I've never really recovered from middle school emotionally or cognitively..... I'm rarely encouraged to put forth that "effort" to use my brain..... even now in college when people are open minded... I try to share something and the fat party guy is like "You don't sit around and think about these things do you?" like it's a bad thing......

The only encouragement I have to foster intelligence or creativity comes from myself, and I am not a very good motivational speaker. I don't have any close friends to study with and discuss my major with..... I'm socially withdrawn so sometimes my social skills suck.

I don't really think it's the pot too much... obviously the pot makes me dyslexic, and gives me the "shakes" sometimes.... but on the other hand it encourages me to utilize parts of my brain that were henceto (is that a word?) underdeveloped.

Sure I'm not great with linguistics any more, but I'm learning how to speed read and have a photographic memory... but ah what's the use of learning these things if you don't have the motivation to MASTER them so that you can feel "smart" and you are reliant on a chemical to help foster them?

I don't know.

I try not to use pot until the lasting effects from the last time I've used it are gone. Usually 2-3 times a week.... SMOKING as opposed to eating or vaping seems to make you the most stupid, as well. I sure as fuck shouldn't smoke anymore, my respiratory system is giving me an ass kicking :frown:

side tangent:

Pot kind of annihiliates your necessity to use words for thinking, maybe encourages a form of autism even? So it's like, YOU understand your thought train, but it's a very deconstructed thought train that is not reliant on linguistic concepts, so it can be hard to communicate and can make writing a challenge. Though pot has helped me "flow write" where I just synch what I am thinking with what I am typing, so I just think in complete sentences and usually I'm okay until I reach some sort of "schism" in hemispheral balance and realize the sentence I'm trying to type is impossible and does not make sense...... left brain switching to right perhaps.

and final side tangent: I think that's what the song schism is about, the left and right brain... uniting ying and yang, etc....... the whole state of mind detached from symbols yet still utilizing symbols that being high can lead you to.


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I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (11/08/05 08:53 PM)

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Re: My brain went down the drain... [Re: leery11]
    #4912225 -

I never smoked pot too heavily, but I know one overendulgence seemed to change me permanently. It didn't make me stupider, but just more anxious and paranoid for almost a year. Anyway I always felt dumb the day after smoking and I hear the more often you do it the longer that feeling takes to go away.

If anything has really effected my brain noticably it is probobly the the Ecstacy I did last weekend. Seems like I've been making alot more spelling errors since, though it might be because of this laptop keypad.

Alcohol is pretty bad too. As far as I know real psychedelics won't actually mess with your brain, but they can change your personality.

But besides all this I have a thought for you: perhaps doing drugs you just forgot how to operate your brain? Maybe it got out of shape and it just needs some exercise. Try reading stuff that interests you intellectually or doing word puzzles. Meditation can help too if you know not to just space out.


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1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."

Edited by Divided_Sky (11/09/05 01:03 AM)

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