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Anisotropic
Stranger

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 538
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

#4660740 - 09/14/05 05:14 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

February 18th 2004...

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

And September 14th 2005...

http://money.cnn.com/2005/09/14/news/fortune500/gillette/

Don't just read the headlines, read the whole things, it's really funny.

Wow.

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adamj
Superhero

Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 1,562
Loc: Ontario, CAN
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Anisotropic]
#4660889 - 09/14/05 05:37 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Haha. Reminds me of a skit I was once on TV (MadTV maybe?) they had a razor with like 10 blade on it. First 3 blades cut the hair, the rest just slowly cut into your face until you hit bone hahaha

They should make a razor that doesn't get hair stuck in it. Sure you can tap it against the sink.. but that takes energy.

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Shroomism
Space Travellin

Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: adamj]
#4660904 - 09/14/05 05:41 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

everyone should just let their hair grow
except chicks

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Twirling
Barred Spiral

Registered: 02/03/03
Posts: 2,468
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Anisotropic]
#4660911 - 09/14/05 05:42 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

LFUCKINGOL! I always laughed at the commerical where the guy doing the spot says something like "You thought 3 blades was the max? Wrong! Introducing new Shichk Quatro blah blah blah". I always pictured some guy with a stubbled beard on the edge of seat thinking, "Man, 3 blades is the max! WAIT! WHOA! 4 BLADES?!?!?! MY MIND IS BLOWN".

I actually use the Mach 3, but simply because they sent me a free razor, and I liked the way it worked better than my old one. I can't believe they're actually coming out with 5 blades. Obviously they're trying to just throw gimmicks at something which works fine the way it is.

--------------------
The very nature of experience is ineffable; it transcends cognitive thought and intellectualized analysis. To be without experience is to be without an emotional knowledge of what the experience translates into. The desire for the understanding of what life is made of is the motivation that drives us all. Without it, in fear of the experiences what life can hold is among the greatest contradictions; to live in fear of death while not being alive.

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Shroomism
Space Travellin

Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Twirling]
#4660928 - 09/14/05 05:44 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

I shave my face with a samurai sword.. I'm way ahead of the times.

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Yarry
Old Timer

Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 23,762

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Shroomism]
#4660933 - 09/14/05 05:45 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

naw your way behind the times. and totally badass

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Grumpy Old Man.

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Twirling
Barred Spiral

Registered: 02/03/03
Posts: 2,468
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Anisotropic]
#4660940 - 09/14/05 05:47 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Anisotropic said:

Don't just read the headlines, read the whole things, it's really funny.

Holy shit, after reading both of them, the whole thing, I can't believe they actually followed the Onion article that closely. Wow, that's.... weird.

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Shroomism
Space Travellin

Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Yarry]
#4660946 - 09/14/05 05:48 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

the trends will go backwards.. people will get all nostalgic and then say I want to shave my face with a samurai sword too! then schick will start selling samurai sword turbos and I'll just start burning it off with my lighter

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Jabbawaya

Registered: 07/11/05
Posts: 1,479
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Shroomism]
#4660953 - 09/14/05 05:49 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Shroomism said:

I shave my face with a samurai sword.. I'm way ahead of the times.

You are all that is man!

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trendal
J♠

Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,825
Loc: Ontario, Canada

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Shroomism]
#4660994 - 09/14/05 05:57 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Shroomism said:

I'll just start burning it off with my lighter

Careful, man! Some dude tried this with his anal hair...didn't work out so well...

http://www.alldumb.com/item/13046/

:lol:

:lol:

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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Yarry
Old Timer

Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 23,762

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Shroomism]
#4660998 - 09/14/05 05:59 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Shroomism said:

the trends will go backwards.. people will get all nostalgic and then say I want to shave my face with a samurai sword too! then schick will start selling samurai sword turbos and I'll just start burning it off with my lighter

i just bash mine off with sharp rocks.

--------------------
Grumpy Old Man.

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Anisotropic
Stranger

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 538
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Twirling]
#4661002 - 09/14/05 06:00 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Yea, pretty funny. It's just the people at the onion have that modern day 'journalistic' style down so well.

I guess the people at CNN money don't read The Onion.

Heh...

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ZippoZ
Knomadic

Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Anisotropic]
#4661166 - 09/14/05 06:42 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

i dont shave... hahaha, suckers. on ocsaion i will go over my beard with a number 8 guard from a hair trimmer set.... if somthing important is coming up where im going to have to wear my suit. as for my hair, hasnt been cut in over a year and a half, i keep getting it in my mouth while im eatring drunk... hahaha

--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:

zippoz

:mushroom2:

"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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Twister
Lucrative

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 6,672
Loc: Midwest
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Anisotropic]
#4661168 - 09/14/05 06:42 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

"The razor, known as the Fusion, has blades spaced 30 percent closer than Gillette's current MACH3Turbo system."
Thats the dumbest thing ever. It'll be annoyingly clogged after like half a swipe and that much harder to unclog. I hope it fails miserably just because its just another one up attempt.

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vinsue
Grand Old Fart

Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: ZippoZ]
#4661176 - 09/14/05 06:44 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

I'm in the process of donning my winter beard.... :strokebeard:

:strokebeard:

--------------------

"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:

:taser:

... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . :mod:

:mod:

...

:peace:

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Anisotropic
Stranger

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 538
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months

Re: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

[Re: Twister]
#4661944 - 09/14/05 09:45 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

The razor is really done. I mean really what more needs to be done to razors?
It's just marketing gimmicks; dumb, transparent... gimmicks.

But I bet it will work...

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