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Community > Physical and Mental Well-Being
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Phone Anxiety and Intimid
    #2976317 -

I guess this is my problem. Only with certain people though.

Around physical bodies I can lead the conversation. I can be the loud mouth. The funny person. One with good ideas. All that shit. That's me... thats when my mind is on all gears and going on high.


But on the phone its different. Especially when I have a boyfriend.... its been this way badly for the last 3 relationships. Whoever I go out with I always have to give my full respect. I always have to feel intimidated beyond fuck while on the phone.

Its the pits. The only time I feel completely free of this burden is when I'm really hyper, myself and the conversation is going great or when I'm stoned. Seriously, I feel like the perfect conversationist when stoned. But when I'm around people its as iff I'll just say whatever the I want and laugh myself to sleep.

I was wondering if theres anyway to get over the fact that I always seem to make the conversation go dead using the phone. I don't really know what anxiety means but could it be a mild form of it? Or am I just fucked up?

thanks. :mushroom2: :mushroom2: :mushroom2:

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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2976634 -

distract yourself while on the phone?  pretend to be talking face to face and use facial expressions and hand movements to illustrate points?

or don't use the phone for anything more than arranging meeting in person :smile:

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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: blink]
    #2976810 -

Hmm... phones are a very faceless media. It's no wonder why people like us have a hard time with them..

I don't know what to say about that, just keep busy. Pace, fidget with your hands, etc. That's what I did and it worked for me... just slowly broke the habit.

And yeah, good advice above. Planning's good!

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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2976831 -

phones are just gay. in person is the shit. because most of my fucking funnies are from yelling and beng all dramatic. but on the phone the vocals are limiting, your imagination is screwed, and the expressions just suck. i aint a fan of the plastic machine! =(

i can get addicted to the shit. plus i hate it when you can't hear the person or don't knwo what the fuck they are doing and they say shit. and you are like HUH WHAT?


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong


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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2976854 -

I think that your best best is to let people in your life know that you have a problem with phone conversations. You're silence may well be interpreted in other ways otherwise. People that really care about you will accept the fact that you're not perfect and appreciate the fact that you care about their feelings enough to let them know.
...otherwise,use an answering machine : )

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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2976913 -

answering machines are fun. haha.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong


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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: browndustin]
    #2976951 -

browndustin said:
Hmm... phones are a very faceless media.



--------------------

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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: ld50negative1]
    #2978906 -

I can be like that too, well sort of. When I'm talking to people I know and am friends with I'm fine, but when a stranger calls I'm (this is embarassing) 'scared' to answer the phone, and I can't explain why 'cos once I do I'm normally perfectly fine taking messages and what not.

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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2979220 -

weird. i LOVE talking to new people on the phone. but i hate talking to people and not seeing them for awhile cuz the conversation gets dry. thats annoying.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong


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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: PuZuZu]
    #4605466 -

I experience the same thing PuZuZu, I love to speak when facing my friend, but not at the phone. I love to speak to a stranger at phone too, but get a little anxious with a friend, friends whom I have known for 8 years! Your not alone :wink: Kinda weird problem.. probably some post about this on a psychology forum

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Re: Phone Anxiety and Intimid [Re: wise_gardener]
    #4609294 -

sometimes i get super freaked out on the phone like people are listening to me (and usually when i feel that way, the other person on the line feels that way too, and i scare them by telling them how i feel :frown: )

maybe those feelings are well founded and we live in 1984... but i think it's something odd about attaining "intimacy" with a lifeless object.... a voice coming out of a piece of plastic.

you feel like you are sharing yourself with someone (creating the feeling of a 'presence') but in fact that person is thousands of miles away.

I think that's why sometimes the phone freaks me out. If that was totally off topic, sorry. ...

some things that helped me get past general phone anxieties were like, calling up radio stations and requesting songs and stuff like that.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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