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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits...
    #4357957 - 07/01/05 03:04 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

(note: I'm just using the shroomery as a diary of sourts.
I'm really not this much of a whiny bitch in RL. It just comes off that way, because i post all my issues here. I'm not so much looking for advice, or feedback, as i am a place to vent)

Its like this...

I came to the realization at the Ne05 gathering that i have developed terrible social Anxiety. I've always know that i am an introvert, but its gotten to the point wher trying to socialize in groups of more than a few people sometimes sends me into a panic attack, but more often than not, just leaves me feeling, and acting hella Awkward.
Now, since than I've spent alot of time soul searching, and trying to figure out the root of this issue. Alot of it stems from dropping out of school in 7th grade, and kind of hermiting up for the next several years.Not getting that basic everyday interaction with strangers.
I still socialized, and went to parties and stuff, but almost entirely with the same people.

This isn't the only reason i am anti-social. Alot of it stems from depression, and trust issues. There are other things, but i'm still trying to figure them out.

The thing is, i know what needs to happen to fix it. I simply need to change my lifestyle. Get out, interact with more new people.
Get off my ass, Stop watching t.v., Stop spending all my time fucking about on the shroomery, Get my drivers license, get a car, get a job, find a girlfriend, Explore.

I've just become an adult. I've got to do all these things. Whenever i'm bored, or frustrated, these are the goals that are on my mind. And i chip away at them slowly but surely. but my own laziness, and lack of willpower end up winning most times.
eventually... actually in the next few months, they half to happen. I'm moving out of my parents place, and making my way in this world as an adult. With all my own responsiblitys, and honestly, it scares the crap out of me.
I've been mooching off others for so long, that it will be very difficult learning to care for myself...


end rant. More to come in the future.


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InvisibleAbstractHarmonix
Love is like a train...
Female

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 3,509
Loc: The Sea
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #4357983 - 07/01/05 03:11 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

this is very common dreamer.

i can relate with you on a seperate level than the one you expressed here in this thread, but you know something? you can grow up too fast, and take things for granted. dont try to rush into the nonsense...

driving just cost money insurance license gas etc

girlfriends just bitch, but sex is normally a plus

exploring comes all in due time with the right travelling partners.

take advantage of what you have now, cause you know damned well it wont last forever. I wanted to grow up fast, and i did. now i somewhat regret it, due to the physical loss of my mother and the emotional loss of my father.

but you know what, you live and learn.

i live and learn, just never take what you have for granted, cause it could be gone in an instant!

love yourself!

and remind me to take my own advice!

-ares


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A plethora of music aspirations control my temptations of future revelations beyond "now". The percussion, and the heart beat of my love and devotion. The rhythm goes beyond, prying into the third eye, releasing the creativity held so far inside. The melodicies, through the out of tune pianos and broken classical guitars...there lies a beauty. A beauty as prevelent as the fire inside. To release these energies is pure ecstacy, to deveop these gifts is sacred. The vocality, so pure as can be, shying away from herself, lies within me. For the underlying serenitity, this is what I live for. I plea for harmony, and nothing more. Music equals love. Creation of love leads to the procreativity of the World, and it's spirals and puddles prevailing.


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: AbstractHarmonix]
    #4357990 - 07/01/05 03:14 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

:heart: :sun:
thanx dude


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InvisibleAbstractHarmonix
Love is like a train...
Female

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 3,509
Loc: The Sea
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #4358025 - 07/01/05 03:22 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

no problem!

:heart: :sun: :smile:


--------------------
A plethora of music aspirations control my temptations of future revelations beyond "now". The percussion, and the heart beat of my love and devotion. The rhythm goes beyond, prying into the third eye, releasing the creativity held so far inside. The melodicies, through the out of tune pianos and broken classical guitars...there lies a beauty. A beauty as prevelent as the fire inside. To release these energies is pure ecstacy, to deveop these gifts is sacred. The vocality, so pure as can be, shying away from herself, lies within me. For the underlying serenitity, this is what I live for. I plea for harmony, and nothing more. Music equals love. Creation of love leads to the procreativity of the World, and it's spirals and puddles prevailing.


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Offlineprefloppro
Last Call
Registered: 05/29/05
Posts: 440
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #4370432 - 07/04/05 11:27 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

My social anxiety is so bad that if I am smoking a cigarette on my second floor balcony, and someone walks out of an apartment a good 50 yards away, I get all antsy and dont know how to act. I just freeze. Or like sitting at a stop light and car pulls up beside you, I get all freaked out and try to find something to do, whether it be messing with the radio or picking up an inanimate object and pretending to read. I have always been like this, even as a little kid. I dont know what to do either. Once i get to know someone its different, I dont worry about how I act or what I do around them. I dont really want to take medication, but I think it will eventually lead up to that. Has anyone went through this kind of anxiety and fixed it without medicine? My friends think I am crazy when I say I have bad anxiety, they say I would of never known.


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OfflineBCBudJohn
Foolhardy

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 150
Loc: Victoria, BC, Canada
Last seen: 11 years, 10 days
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: prefloppro]
    #4370772 - 07/05/05 01:36 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

I used to be a large introvert in grade school, i was socially awkward, unable to hang out with people without making enormous issues out of it.

What changed for me, and i truly feel like a different person, is that i stopped trying to please everyone else, and it may sound selfish, but you need to focus on what truly gives you a good feeling in life, whatever it is. Honesty i believe it changed me completely. As soon as I stopped lying to myself about who I was or wanted to be, I stopped lying to everyone else about who I wanted to be. You need to know yourself, and be 100% confident in who you are and be ready to take the one path through life you choose, knowing that if you don't honestly believe in yourself, you will never be happy.

Life has many wonderful things to offer, never be afraid to take chances, because if you throw your heart into everything you do, you will always find happiness. You need to know who you are first.

Good luck


--------------------
Peace
John


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Offlinemrsautoman
Don't DriveAngry
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Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 166
Loc: Dirty South
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: BCBudJohn]
    #4371381 - 07/05/05 06:49 AM (11 years, 4 months ago)

The thing that cured my social anxiety was getting laid off of my nice comfortable techy job and having to go to work in a restaurant/bar. Having to be professionally social gave me a bravery that I had never previously experienced around strangers.

I kind of learned to approach every different type of person and keep it friendly but generic until I could glean some info about them by the few words they spoke to me or often just by their body language. Then I would just slip into whatever personality I figured would make them like me enough to tip me that little extra dollar or two.

I could do all this behind my restaurant issued black polo shirt and plastic name tag so much easier then I could EVER do it in the real world. Now that I've waited tables off and on for a handful of years now I find it's something I can just flip on whenever I want to. I guess it's the 'morphing face' sales gene in me.

It sounds really terrible now that I read it back, like I'm a totally fake person. But all I was trying to say is that being FORCED into social interaction in order to make money showed me that I can relate to almost ANYBODY at least long enough to sell them a sandwich.

Then I realized there are two kinds of people, people that are just as self-conscious as me, and people that are so self-absorbed they couldn't give a rats ass about another person if they tried. The self-conscious people are just as nervous around you as you are them, and the self-absorbed people only see you as a reflection of their brilliance and aren't even really aware you exist, so why care what they think anyway?



WARNING: this post does not advocate anyone getting a job in the food service industry to make themselves a more well-adjusted person, cause it totally doesn't. Just say no.


--------------------

~I was born of a voice untimely,
the so-called echo of a man's ordure~


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OfflineShroomNewb
enthusiast
Registered: 11/09/01
Posts: 230
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: mrsautoman]
    #4373734 - 07/05/05 11:03 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

I got a job as a prep cook and lasted 2 days. Social interaction fucking kills me. Having hot waitresses evaluate me kills me. So that was the plan to better myself; so I ran away like I always do. I've isolated myself for 6 or 7 years; and am now enrolled in school. I'm torn between feeling like I should connect with my peers and the feeling that I can't; resentment. I'm so detatched at this point it's dangerous. Sometimes I feel like flipping out and attacking someone or pulling a gun in class. Hah, I never would, yet subconciously I feel the need to utterly express my distaste for society and my alienation.


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Offlinemrsautoman
Don't DriveAngry
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Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 166
Loc: Dirty South
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: ShroomNewb]
    #4374433 - 07/06/05 02:51 AM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomNewb said:
I got a job as a prep cook and lasted 2 days. Social interaction fucking kills me. Having hot waitresses evaluate me kills me.





I guess I meant that waitressing opened me up because how personable I was directly related to how much money I went home with. Cookings kind of different because every commercial kitchen in the world is just like a high school clique.

As far as hot waitresses go, the only reason they are evaluating you is to see where you fit in the pantheon of people who make them feel better about themselves. When you don't fit, they dismiss you. The secret is... that hot waitress probably hates herself and goes home at night and over medicates just like the rest of us do.

Quote:


I'm torn between feeling like I should connect with my peers and the feeling that I can't; resentment.




Humans are pack animals. We need to socialize because in a pack the strengths of some compensate for the weakness of others. For a long time I was a lone wolf, just walking around looking at packs interacting with each other and seasoning my contempt for them only with my desire to be a part of... something.

I like to think I found a good pack now. People move in and out of it over the years depending on their needs and wants in life, and sometimes it's a pain in the ass to manage. Most of the time I still like chilling by myself, but once in a while when I need a good hit of humanity I can hang out with these people and they don't chap my ass too bad.

I find most of my friends by being polite, respectful, and friendly to most everyone I meet, and then cracking then most inappropriate joke I can think of and seeing who laughs.

People can be mean and useless and are mostly worthy of your scorn, but somewhere out there is your pack, waiting for you.


--------------------

~I was born of a voice untimely,
the so-called echo of a man's ordure~


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: mrsautoman]
    #5457825 - 03/30/06 02:09 AM (10 years, 8 months ago)

things are much better


--------------------


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
Being.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 5 months, 24 days
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: mrsautoman]
    #5458405 - 03/30/06 09:08 AM (10 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mrsautoman said:
As far as hot waitresses go, the only reason they are evaluating you is to see where you fit in the pantheon of people who make them feel better about themselves. When you don't fit, they dismiss you. The secret is...  that hot waitress probably hates herself and goes home at night and over medicates just like the rest of us do.





Hey, I just noticed, you kick ass!  :grin:  :heart:


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OfflineBloodNOil
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Registered: 10/09/03
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Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5458891 - 03/30/06 11:56 AM (10 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Dreamer987 said:
things are much better




Do tell.


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It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!


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InvisibleAdden
David Reishi Fan Club
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Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 34,084
Loc: Amongst the Dunes
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5460177 - 03/30/06 05:12 PM (10 years, 8 months ago)

Glad to hear.


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OfflineShroomer215
Consumer ofshrooms

Registered: 02/06/06
Posts: 64
Loc: In your Mind.
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: Adden]
    #5460354 - 03/30/06 06:02 PM (10 years, 8 months ago)

You cant let your social anxiety get ahold of you

About 2 years ago I started feeling different. I would only feel conferrable around all of my close friends. If we went to a party I was always the least sociable one(even if it was one of my friends throwing it) I said you know what I don't care, I got my boys and my other friends. Slowly but surely I started to act really weird around them too. Not knowing what to say 90% of the time, and trying to avoid saying something dumb, I would just stay quit. Then when someone says " why are you so quit" I would freak out and go even deeper in this anti-social mind.

What you have to realize is that its only hurting yourself, and its you doing it. Yes, its hard to change, but its the best thing to do. The way you act has alot to do with it. Then I had a talk with a friend and she said that I'm always negative. and i must say i never really realized it. So I tried to act positive and confident from then on out. It was deff. a hard time going into certain situations. I still have the occasional days were if feels like I'm the old me, but you have to get past it and realize that if you don't want to change then its all on you. And if my be so bad that you need to talk to someone about it. Then do it.


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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: Shroomer215]
    #5468035 - 04/01/06 06:04 PM (10 years, 8 months ago)

Develop your communication skills, learn how to talk to people and how to keep a conversation going. I think allot people have social anxiety really because they don't know how to communicate in a helpful way. Brake everything down, reflect what the other person is saying. Take it one sentence at a time, it will become a habit. Find emotional verbs from the communicators speech and elaborate on them in a interesting way. Also I big roll is to accept that you have social anxiety, because it is all normal. Everyone has anxiety.


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OfflineEkstaza
stranger thanmost
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Registered: 04/11/03
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Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: p4kSouL]
    #5477078 - 04/04/06 12:51 AM (10 years, 7 months ago)

My social anxiety is usually triggered by situations where I'm forced to perform for or inter act with people who I see as possibly being better than me or smarter than me.

One of my computer professors from college still makes me start babbling like a blubbering idiot. The last class I took with him as the teacher, I eventually had to quit because I would just sit there in class trying to make myself not bolt out the door. In fact, that's pretty much what I ended up doing. I got up the nerve to tell him that I was withdrawing and then I exited stage left with a quickness. The last time I saw him was a few weeks ago (over a year after I quit the class) at a music store. He said hi and asked how I was getting along, whether I had a computer job, and what not. I started to mumble about something I don't even remember and said that I really had to go.

My last anxiety attack occurred this past Saturday. My mother had asked me to run a simple errand for her and I freaked out inside. I started pacing back and forth when she left the room to go get what she wanted me to take into town for her. When she came back, I told her that I couldn't take it for her and I left. I was really upset that I did that to her. I was angry that I can't control these fits.


--------------------
YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ANY GIVEN DRUG ISN'T THE DEFINITIVE MEASURE OF THE DRUGS EFFECTS.


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InvisibleFerris
PsychedelicJourneyman
Male Arcade Champion: 3D Superball, Alien Invasion, Bounce Back, Crazy Closet, Plastic Saucer

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Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... *DELETED* [Re: Ekstaza]
    #5477621 - 04/04/06 02:46 AM (10 years, 7 months ago)

Post deleted by Ferris

Reason for deletion: .



--------------------

Discuss Politics


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InvisibleWIZOLZ
Poor with Needs
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Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 290
Loc: Monte Carlo
Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: Ferris]
    #5478075 - 04/04/06 07:46 AM (10 years, 7 months ago)

Very good thread! I'll try to contribute what I know...

Unless we can understand the causes of our deep emotional, physical or mental strongholds, we can never expect to overcome them...Atleast not completely. Social Anxiety, from my own experience's, is about inward projection and dilusional, very real personal insecurity, with a mix of chemical stimulis to give it physical influence over us. Our measure of control is whats important, but that control is over our selves and how we percieve whats happening around us. its the old, are you afraid of the dark scenario...why fear the dark, if you know there is nothing there to hurt you? Were all compulsive by nature, irrational unless taught differently. When I get bored at home I usually eat, Im always fidgeting when I sit, things like that. Thoughts are compulsive and the most dangerous, even emotions which are hormonal. In time they shift and trigger new ones, but its a normal phenomenon.

Most of my greatest anxiety attacks occured whilst on substances, but only because of the heightend self awarness I was experiencing. This can somtimes work in your favor and somtimes be funnled into a very restricted fear. For me, I eventually calmed down on the substance abuse and allowed myself time to develop my identity, through the help of those who wernt afraid to tell me what was really wrong with me (Pride and false insecurity, Spiritual and social confusion) and also to just get out and about, enjoy nature and projects. I learned not to allow that fear to have control over me by realizing that most people have been through what that other person has been through and vise versa. That each person is trying to achieve what Im trying to achieve...Harmony, Somwhere to belong, love (Keep it pure). But that liberation from social restriction begins from withen and like many have said before this, the neccisity of change and involvment with the right people. Everyday, cultivating and challenging yourself so you can surpass any immature, childish compulsions or adictions. See things as they really are. If somone is restricting you, realize they can have no power over you if you dont allow them too, in spirit. I also realized that people were more in need then myself and that even a smile as simple as it seems, could lift that fear from them.

Im an introvert also, but I love interation. I just wish I had the charisma that was needed...I believe that will happen in time, just like everyone else. We get comfortable in our skin and the anxiety dissipates.


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---------o----o----o-------o------------------------o--o-o-
----------------------------------------------------------------
Requim for a Dream - Paul Oakenfold
---------------------------------------------------------------
"The mis/abuse of any form of power, is the worst form of ignorance"
-------------------------------------------------------------
WIZOLZ - Lover with a Killer's Smile


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OfflineXUL
vivacious
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Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: prefloppro]
    #5479764 - 04/04/06 06:24 PM (10 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

prefloppro said:
My social anxiety is so bad that if I am smoking a cigarette on my second floor balcony, and someone walks out of an apartment a good 50 yards away, I get all antsy and dont know how to act.  I just freeze.  Or like sitting at a stop light and car pulls up beside you, I get all freaked out and try to find something to do, whether it be messing with the radio or picking up an inanimate object and pretending to read.  I have always been like this, even as a little kid.  I dont know what to do either.  Once i get to know someone its different, I dont worry about how I act or what I do around them.  I dont really want to take medication, but I think it will eventually lead up to that.  Has anyone went through this kind of anxiety and fixed it without medicine?  My friends think I am crazy when I say I have bad anxiety, they say I would of never known.




sounds like me on horrid days. When my anxiety is very bad even from far away I cant look at people. These past weeks ive been able to live normally. I cant a little anxious every once in a while, but for the most part I can look the average joe in the eye when walking on the sidewalk.

I remember when I snorted rittalin. snorted 65 mg. It was a great time.... until the crash. I made it through the night okay, but the next day was the worst anxiety I ever had. I remember going to my color and design class and sitting at this table of girls. 6 girls and me. Talk about fucking spastic. I couldnt deal with it.. I thought my brain was going to explode. This one new girl was asking me my name and stuff and I was just looking at the table avoiding eye contact. The bad thing is with anxiety it leads you in nightmare like circles. One minuit you will be focusing on avoiding eye contact and the next you will try to look at people because you think that they can see you trying to avoid eye contact.

That was my big problem, looking people in the eye. I get spasms sometimes when I make wierd eye contacts.

For me.. I think I am going to try and get a perscription for xanax. Just pop one whenever im having a bad day for anxiety. The truth is I wouldnt even need them that much because I am find most of the time.. but when the occasional anxiety from hell comes.. Its so painfull.


I also think part of the solution is admitting to people you have anxiety. I told my friends and It makes me more comfortable.

Anyone who has serious anxiety I pray for, because that shit is a nightmare.  :heart: :sun:


--------------------
Do not wait to strike until the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
-W.B. Yeats


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: Social anxiety, Laziness, Changing old habits... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5479816 - 04/04/06 06:43 PM (10 years, 7 months ago)

Wow... are you in my head man? I could have easily written something just like that. As you may know I've also been struggling with a sort of social anxiety and inability to communicate my thoughts clearly for some time. And I think you're pretty dead on about where these issues stem from.. for me it was mainly.. trust issues, depression.. lack of self love.. over-analyzation of negative criticism of my own self and thoughts. delusions of self projecting outward and making me appear extremely introverted. It's a nasty cycle of self-defeating type of thinking, at least it is/was for me. But once you realize and understand the problem and find the source.. you are already halfway there to overcoming it.

They say practice makes perfect. So I figure the more I socialize and interact with people, the more I practice expressing myself freely and honestly, the easier it will become, and over time it will just become a natural thing again.

Introverted is not a bad thing.. but self-defeated thinking patterns in introverted  personalities is definitely not a productive thing. You lose the ability to communicate effectively, and if no one can understand, no one can help. One can remain introverted as well as open and honest. I think that perhaps as well as coming to terms with, and changing your opinions on the source of the problem itself.. filling yourself with self love and joy is a damn good start. No doubt... if you love and are confident in yourself, it is ten billion times easier to interact with other people, and have the pride and motivation to succeed in your goals.

I think we can both succeed in our goals. Maybe even together.Just keep practicing.. and we'll practice on each other in 2 months or so :grin:


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