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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,944
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Religion Explained
    #4090835 - 04/24/05 05:48 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

The Differences in the Religions:




TAOISM:
Shit Happens


CONFUCIANISM:
Confuscious says,"Shit Happens"


BUDDHISM:
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.


ZEN:
What is the sound of shit happening?


HINDUISM:
This shit happened before.


BONZAI BOZOISM:
Make shit happen.. OH SHIT!!


ISLAM:
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah


PROTESTANTISM:
Let shit happen to someone else.


CATHOLICISM:
If shit happens, you deserve it.


JUDAISM:
Why does this shit always happen to us?


ATHEISM:
I don't believe this shit.


AGNOSTICISM:
What is this shit?


SHINTOISM:
Everything except Japan is Shit.


EXISTENTIAL:
I shit, therefore I sit.


MINIMALIST:
Shit


VEGETARIAN:
Don't eat that shit!


DEJA VU:
I've been through this shit before.


LAO-TZU:
It is utterly pointless to try to explain shit.


GERTRUDE STEIN:
A shit is a shit is a shit.


BUSH:
A thousand points of shit.


SOVIET UNION:
That shit just didn't work.


CASTRO:
We have to make this shit work somehow.


EASTERN ORTHODOX:
Rome doesn't know shit.


SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST:
Shit happens everyday but Saturday.


UNITARIAN:
Shit is all basically the same.


HOLISTIC:
There's more shit here than I figured on.


JEHOVAH'S WITNESS:
Want to buy a subscription to our Shit?


CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST:
If Shit happens, don't worry. It will go away on its own.


JAINISM:
When Shit happens don't step in it.


CALVINISM:
If you're not saved, tough Shit.


BORN AGAIN:
Shit happens but I am saved.


SCIENTOLOGY:
This Shit is expensive.


NEW AGE:
Crystal power counteracts Shit.


JESUITISM:
If Shit happens and no one hears it, did it really make a sound?


HARE KRISHNA:
Shit happens, Rama, Rama.


SATANISM:
Shit rules!


STOICISM:
So Shit happens, Big deal. I can take it.


HEDONISM:
When Shit happens, enjoy it!


RASTAFARIANISM:
Let's smoke this Shit.


CLINTONISM:
Just don't inhale that Shit.


NATIVE AMERICAN CHURCH:
We want our Shit back!


RLDS:
Brigham is full of Shit.


MORMONISM:
It's evil to say "Shit."


DEMOCRATISM:
How can we send a man to the moon and still have all this shit?


REPUBLICANISM:
There's nothing like a good shit. Flush the toilet.


FEMINISM:
Put the seat back down, you Shit.


SECULAR HUMANISM:
Shit evolves.


FUNDAMENTALISM:
Born-again shit.


EVANGELISM:
Shit happens. (Pass it on.)


EPISCOPALIAN:
Fecal matter occurs.


JIM JONESISM:
If shit happens, drink Kool-Aid.


QUAKERISM:
There is that of shit in everyone.
Let's form a committee to discuss this shit.




I rest my shit.


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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Offlinethe_phoenix
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Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 541
Loc: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: Religion Explained [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4091099 - 04/24/05 11:40 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

:lol: Hilarious! Holy fucking shit!


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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
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Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
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Re: Religion Explained [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4091117 - 04/24/05 11:51 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

:rotfl:


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: Religion Explained [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4091142 - 04/24/05 12:02 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I read this years ago and think I smiled and laughed even more through it this second time!

Thanks Skorp! :cool: :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Invisibledorkus
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Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
Re: Religion Explained [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4091255 - 04/24/05 12:41 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Crazy wisdom  :thumbup: :heart:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
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Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Re: Religion Explained [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4091803 - 04/24/05 04:24 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

:rotfl:


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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InvisibleSilversoul
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Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: Religion Explained [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4091824 - 04/24/05 04:30 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Sheeit!


--------------------


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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
Stranger

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
Re: Religion Explained [Re: Silversoul]
    #4092642 - 04/24/05 08:37 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

You forgot Discordianism.


--------------------
PsyPost - Psychedelic Research


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Male
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Re: Religion Explained [Re: MushmanTheManic]
    #4092665 - 04/24/05 08:44 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

:thumbup: :lol:

Cult of Cthulu (sp?), church of the sub-genius, and many others


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
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