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OfflinePedM
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About Being Happy
    #3913327 - 03/13/05 10:08 PM (12 years, 14 days ago)

Before I begin, please understand that I don't compose this with the intention of telling anybody how to live, or climbing up on some kind of moral pedestal. I know that sometimes I come off this way, and that it's unattractive and a little annoying. The following are just some ideas which have been occupying my thoughts lately, and because they've inspired me I feel compelled to share them with anyone interested in listening. Who knows, maybe it will help somebody!



Everybody has problems to deal with. Generally, we feel that it's our problems which obstruct us from being happy, and that if we can eliminate our problems we can eliminate the obstacles to happiness and finally get on with living out the rest of our lives. And so we go about the business of eliminating our problems: we go to school so that we can get the better job and escape our financial worries, we complain to the landlords about our noisy neighbours until they are finally evicted, we pull out our hair working hard for the promotion so that we can buy a house and escape the inconveniences of apartment living, and so on and so forth. We might even get married to solve the problem of feeling lonely, or have children to solve the problem of feeling unimportant.

But none of these things seem to work. At school, our teachers might be disagreeable, or the course material might be too hard. After our noisy neighbour has been evicted, even noisier neighbors move in. We get the promotion, but now the added stress is making our doctor concerned about our blood pressure. We buy the house in the quiet neighbourhood, but the foundation leaks and it's an awful bother to clean. Our spouse, who was supposed to keep us company, feels unappreciated or unsatified and starts sleeping with other people, and our children, who were supposed to make us feel important, turn out to be unhappy adolescents treating us only with disrespect.

These are just examples, and not all moves to solve problems end like this. However, it does illustrate an important point: that all too often, when we try to solve our problems, the solutions we put in place only give rise to more problems. And so we never get the opportunity to just live our lives, because we are caught up in this constant effort to rid ourself of problems and difficulty. When we inevitably grow old, we begin to feel as though we've wasted our whole life.

There are two ways to solve problems. One is to exert control over external circumstances, by complaining to the landlord, or by pursuing a better career. The other is to exert control over internal circumstances, by deciding how it is we're going to allow our problems affect our mind. The first method is not effective, it only gives us temporary relief until new problems arise. The second method, if carried to it's fullest potential, has the power to bring us an unpreturbable inner tranquility and happiness.

At first, when we hear the idea that we need to stop trying to take control of our lives and start taking control of our own mind, it seems daunting, almost unrealistic (I know this is definitely true of myself). It seems this way because it asks us to run totally against the grain of what's most familiar to us: imposing our will on the outside world. Some people even become angry at the idea, because it directs them to take greater responsiblity over their own lives (also definitely true in my own case). They feel that by pursuing the better career or marrying the more beautiful wife, they are taking responsiblity for themselves. When they find out that in fact they've been shirking an even more important responsiblity, they feel embarassed! Either way, arriving at the conclusion that it's time to look inward for solutions to our problems is much like arriving at the base of a mountain: sometimes it seems unconquerable and hopeless.

And it should seem that way. Right now, our mind is in control. Our mind tells us what we're going to think and how we're going to feel. Whether or not those thoughts and feelings carry us to ecstatic highs or crushing lows, we're just along for the ride. Opposing that momentum is an uphill struggle not at all different from climbing a mountain. Although it may appear as a long, arduous journey, it's important to remember that this mountain has a peak. The other mountain, the mountain that asks us to solve our problems by imposing our will on the external world, does not have a peak. Scaling this treacherous cliff, we will climb up, and up, and up, always exhausted, always tired, always hungry, always craving, until the day that we die.

It's not much different from the issue of marijuana legalization. There are two ways to deal with the social problems associated with marijuana use: we can impose our will by making tougher laws and stiffer penalties, hiring more police officers and giving them more powerful weapons, or we as a society can change our own attitude by accepting marijuana as part of our culture. We can see that tougher laws, stiffer penalties, and more lethal police do not work. These things only create more problems: while the demand for marijuana remains unchanged, tougher law enforcement breeds tougher, more ruthless criminals. For our society to change it's attitude toward marijuana, to accept it's use as part of our ongoing development, this would take the pot trade out of the hands of criminals and place it into the hands of careful legal regulation. Suddenly, all the problems of violence and criminal activity associated with marijuana disappear, and, as we have seen with countries which have already made this adjustment, the impact on the common person's daily living is relatively slight.

And so these are my arguments for the importance of legalizing marijua--- I mean for taking control of one's own mind, deciding for one's self how people and situations are going to affect us. If we are going to be happy, we need to take responsibility for every aspect of our experience. It might seem like a lot of hard work, but in the long run, the alternative is unceasing labour and frustration. If we have faith, and if we have patience, constant vigilence over the mind will bring us to uninterruptable tranquility and bliss.


--------------------


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace


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OfflineShroomDoom
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: Ped]
    #3913387 - 03/13/05 10:17 PM (12 years, 14 days ago)

nice. i agree with you on everything. The things that happen to us are not as important as our perceptions of those happenings. Mind is the root of All Phenomena.


--------------------


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: ShroomDoom]
    #3913591 - 03/13/05 11:05 PM (12 years, 14 days ago)

Happiness is a governance of mind.

(I'm a bit tired of the whole "Isolated" concept of the "state of mind")

Great post  :thumbup:


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: Ped]
    #3913937 - 03/14/05 12:22 AM (12 years, 14 days ago)

as long as you don't think that struggle and problem solving (trial by error and trial by success) goes away once one makes a shift to understanding inner space - struggle and achievement is also the glory of mankind.
it is our motivations that change.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflinePedM
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #3914056 - 03/14/05 12:47 AM (12 years, 14 days ago)

>> it is our motivations that change.

Yes. It's about changing our motivations and our expectations.


--------------------


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace


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Invisiblekaiowas
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: Ped]
    #3914460 - 03/14/05 02:28 AM (12 years, 14 days ago)

the more we tend to force our will upon reality, the more problems will arise.


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: kaiowas]
    #3914671 - 03/14/05 03:18 AM (12 years, 14 days ago)

Problems are just complex solutions. Just need to know how to resolve them.

No problem... no solution... ergo stagnation.

Lots of problems... lots of solutions (hopefully :lol:) ... growth (permitted that nothing is attempting to prevent the solution)


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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InvisibleCJay
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #3915334 - 03/14/05 07:48 AM (12 years, 13 days ago)

There are no problems - there is only 'doing' and in life one is always doing something...remove the attachment or aversion to the particular 'doing' and it will be met on the middle ground.


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OfflinePsilocinSam
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: CJay]
    #3915342 - 03/14/05 08:03 AM (12 years, 13 days ago)

I do agree that governance of mind is key to happiness.

It has also been my observation that people spend their lives trying to resolve their problems only to find another one. But unlike your idea of a cliff, I see it as more a set of never ending hills:

Each hill is a problem, and is steep or shallow depending on how BIG the problem is, but it always looks like you CAN reach the top, and that THIS hill is the only one. BUT once you reach the top of that hill, there are MANY hills around you, all higher than you are that you feel you need to climb, and so on ad infinitum.

Governance of mind is key, not because it relieves you of the need to control your environment, but because it gives you control over your SOLUTIONS to problems in the external world.

Here's my basis for this:

In my observation (challenge if you will) people don't sit down and construct a map of all possible solutions to their problems, winnow them down to a select few GOOD solutions (maybe 10) and then further to VERY GOOD solutions (maybe 5), and further till they are left with 1 BRILLIANT solution.

Really what people do (myself included) is to seek out the most IMMEDIATE solution to the problem.

Here's an example:

P1: "I'm hungry"
P2: "Let's get a burger"

In this scenario P1 is satisfied transiently and not completely. Which is the nature of greed (and so ALL the 7 deadly sins, they are all forms of greed (I'm not a Christian btw)). Greed is what causes us to seek IMMEDIATE solutions like burgers, rather than long term solutions like a PERMANENT FOOD SOURCE.

So the person with Governance of Mind would (hopefully, since they control their mind, and not visa-versa as in most people) see the transient nature of one form of solution, and actively seek to find the BEST solution to the problem, rather than the most IMMEDIATE.

Anyone who disagrees, has another perspective, or wishes to add to my theorem is welcome to do so, any PM's appreciated!

That's my jar of pickled staplers! :stoned::mushroom2:


--------------------
We ultimately live in a fractal universe, all parts reflect the infinity of the whole. So why do we maintain that time be any different?

Welcome to 4 my dimensional thoughts!

(Turkish Delight is neither Turkish, nor delightful. So where's the name from?!)


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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: Ped]
    #3917279 - 03/14/05 06:55 PM (12 years, 13 days ago)

I'm sorry, that post you made was pretty annoying IMHO.

You use all these nice patient words to explain what we all agree on already. That life is hard, and new challenges always arise. Then you start taking it in a direction towards a conclusion...something about changing our mental reaction to the challenges of life. Great. That's good, now I'm really curious to learn more on a different technique towards achieving happiness. Then you go into a tangent about the marijuana legalization issue. Ok, I can kind of see a relationship to what you're talking about but I wish you'd get back to the main thing and explain how we go about changing our minds. Then it ends. Wtf?

See, I know if I could be happy when it rains I'd be happy. I know if I could be happy even though I got a boring job I'd be happy. I know if I could embrace all my memories of women rejecting me I'd be happier. But I don't know how to get happy reactions to shitty things. I don't know how to look back fondly on shitty memories. It's obvious. It's like saying if we could be happy as we go through life then we'd be happy. How do you do this though? That's what I want to know. Specifically how do you go from reacting according to the benefit/detriment of external events to reacting happily to external events regardless of their benefit detriment. I don't want some vague hey-come-on-guys-be-happy encouragement, I want a specific tried and tested exercise plan, not meditation, believe me, I've tried meditation and it's nice and all but it's not enough.


--------------------
youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3917476 - 03/14/05 07:25 PM (12 years, 13 days ago)

You should see your failures and sucess' as equal opportunities for learning. That is how.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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OfflinePedM
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3917559 - 03/14/05 09:27 PM (12 years, 13 days ago)

You sound pretty frustrated.  I'm sorry that I didn't have the answers you're looking for.  If you have a question about changing the mind, ask and I'll do my best to answer.  I've studied a lot on the topic and might be able to give some practical advice.  If I can't help, I'll point you to someone who can.

There are more ways to go about changing the mind that there are particles in the universe.  :smile:


--------------------


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3917821 - 03/14/05 10:16 PM (12 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

question_for_joo said:
See, I know if I could be happy when it rains I'd be happy.  I know if I could be happy even though I got a boring job I'd be happy.  I know if I could embrace all my memories of women rejecting me I'd be happier.  But I don't know how to get happy reactions to shitty things.  I don't know how to look back fondly on shitty memories.  It's obvious.  It's like saying if we could be happy as we go through life then we'd be happy.  How do you do this though?  That's what I want to know.  Specifically how do you go from reacting according to the benefit/detriment of external events to reacting happily to external events regardless of their benefit detriment.  I don't want some vague hey-come-on-guys-be-happy encouragement, I want a specific tried and tested exercise plan, not meditation, believe me, I've tried meditation and it's nice and all but it's not enough.




It's all a governance of mind.  :smirk: I don't think anyone is telling you how to govern yours.

I can tell you what makes me happy, and you can live your life just like I do, and gain an odd vicarious happiness.

If we have to tell you how to be happy.... Then you are living our happiness. Don't think he was attempting to tell you how to be happy, just suggesting that you should be.

Unless we want to be emo and dwell on shortfalls all day. (if you're emo I apologize, I meant it in the loosest sense  :crazy:)


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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OfflineShroomDoom
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3918217 - 03/14/05 11:08 PM (12 years, 13 days ago)

Quote:

question_for_joo said:
  Specifically how do you go from reacting according to the benefit/detriment of external events to reacting happily to external events regardless of their benefit detriment.  I don't want some vague hey-come-on-guys-be-happy encouragement, I want a specific tried and tested exercise plan, not meditation, believe me, I've tried meditation and it's nice and all but it's not enough.





there is a simple answer to your problem. Non-attachment. say it with me, we can say it slowly together now... Non..Attachment.
ok allow me to explain before you break out the flamethrower. Look at all the accomplishments you have made in your life, now tell me which one has given you lasting content? probably none, i know none of my accomplishments or gains that have given true lasting happiness. The reason is, worldly gains are transient and void of any true nature.they are illusions. your mind recognizes them as real, or having some kind of value
and creates attachments, thus all sorts of cravings arise, and if only you could get that job, or score that girl you adore, or get that raise, that new car, that new house... you could be happy. Well turns out, some people have all that shit and they Still want more. So what is a human being to do? non-attachment. recognize the fleeting, and temporary nature of worldy objects and pleasures. you dont have to make yourself happy towards any situation, just take the situation for what it is, but from a Non-attached point of view.
A good way that i like to excercise non-attachment(this is also effective for inducing lucid dreams :crazy2: :mushroom2: :crazy2:) is to constantly remind myself that everything that i am, my body, my mind, and everthing thing i experience is a dream. Try it for one day, wake up and eat dream-toast. Go to your dream car, and drive to your dream work or your dream school. think about how changing to this perspective empowers you. what can fuck with you if this is all just a dream(it really is)? then after you have non attachment, you can focus on the only thing that will bring you happiness and the only REAL thing in this world, and that is your innermost self. your own true nature. the divine aspect of you that exists in you and all things.
turn inward. turn inward. and open up your third eye (really helps).


--------------------


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OfflineZekebomb
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: ShroomDoom]
    #3919390 - 03/15/05 03:37 AM (12 years, 13 days ago)

neat, I like the idea of pretending everything is a dream. But aren't you aware of the fact that you are 'pretending' though?


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OfflineThe_Walrus
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: Zekebomb]
    #3919792 - 03/15/05 07:11 AM (12 years, 12 days ago)

I totally agree with everything you just said. The best way to lead ones life in my opinion is to embrace the flow. Take a river which meanders from a moutain to the sea, it will never assume the quickest most efficient path, which is a straight line, because it comes up against changes in contour, and different materials which are harder to form. So instead of relentlessly following the straight line, it moves around the obstacles and chooses the path of least resistance, and in doing so forms the beautiful curves and meanders that we associate with rivers. With us as human beings we should do the same, we should follow the path of least resistance, we should accept the obstacles that life throws at us, and accomodate them as much as possible, because even the most cripling of obstacles, like say, physical disability, opens up the opportunity to use your mind and do intellectual stuff, like Stephen Hawkins. I totally agree that changing the world around us is more or less impossible, because it requires relentless effort, but changing ourselves is much better option. I quote the Matrix 'don't try to bend the spoon, bend yourself'.


--------------------
'Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted' - Albert Einstein


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OfflineShroomDoom
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: Zekebomb]
    #3921008 - 03/15/05 02:50 PM (12 years, 12 days ago)

Quote:

Zekebomb said:
neat, I like the idea of pretending everything is a dream. But aren't you aware of the fact that you are 'pretending' though?



whos pretending? this is a dream.
you arent pretending, you are changing your perspective. viewing things as a dream is one way. another way is to contemplate the illusory nature of things as you go about your day. either way, its an excercise in non-attachment.


--------------------


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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
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Re: About Being Happy *DELETED* [Re: Ped]
    #3921252 - 03/15/05 03:58 PM (12 years, 12 days ago)

Post deleted by question_for_joo

Reason for deletion: asdf



--------------------
youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3921271 - 03/15/05 04:02 PM (12 years, 12 days ago)

Don't thing in terms of shitty things... look at them as tools for evaluation.

You learn from everything and grow as a result of it.

Picture yourself as a rich little prick who gets everything he wants... and I mean everything... not much fun in getting everything you want, not much to learn beyond the ability to get everything your way. Just my $0.02.


Reminds me of that Offspring song... old song... "The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care". Think of Ghandi or anyone else would be who they were without the shit they dealt with? It's what makes you... you. Embrace the shit, learn from it... bounce back from it and don't ever dwell on it... as dwelling on a situation that has occured does nothing at all.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
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Re: About Being Happy [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3921273 - 03/15/05 04:04 PM (12 years, 12 days ago)

We are living in energizer era (coffy, red bull etc.)
The idol of today is a fast adrenaline-junky that has little time for anything, and "knows what he wants in life"

Marijuana will come in the place of coffy when the society is ready
for it. We just have to get through this critical postindustrial time of neurosis.


--------------------
I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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