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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Being Happy
    #3305729 - 11/01/04 06:33 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I saw a post here the other day that deserves further attention. It asserted that happiness was dependant on external criteria such as money, marriage, or close familly ties. I will here assert that these things are the product of happiness, not the other way around.
Happiness is a totally self motivated condition. It does not matter what your physical condition may be at any time. Being happy is merely a personal choice to be so. I have had many rough times in my life. I have been dirt poor and single...I have been dirt poor and married...I have had marital and famillial difficulties that seemed unsurmountable. Even under the most desparate of situations my happiness only faltered for short operiods of time. Internally we all have a well of happiness that can be tapped under the worst of conditions. This ability is contingent upon acceptance of self and situation. I would have responded to the original post, but I could not find it.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3305850 - 11/01/04 07:11 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

"when you ain't got nothin', you got nothin' to lose".


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Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (11/21/04 06:40 PM)


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Invisibletak
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Re: Being Happy [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3305929 - 11/01/04 07:29 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I would like to say I am always happy. I have also had some seriously bad times in my life, and in the end i am always smiling. my girlfriend on the other hand, has just as much money as me, lives in the same house, has the same problems(petty shit) and is always sad or whatever. not depressed, but just not happy. I do not understand it, but she is one of those people who will have a bad weekend and try to ruin it for everyone else if her hair is messy. ugh .. .. . . . i want everyone to be happy.

sorry for going off topic, but something i had to blurb


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The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Being Happy [Re: tak]
    #3306231 - 11/01/04 08:47 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Grin and Bear It.


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Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (11/21/04 06:39 PM)


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Being Happy [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3306253 - 11/01/04 08:51 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

She has to take responsibility for her own happiness.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3306394 - 11/01/04 09:32 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I totally agree with your post Hue! It's a feeling I can generate regardless of whats going on around me, outside of me.

I think if people who can get into the habit of tapping into it, eventually, it just flows. Sometimes, we can slip and cut ourselves off from the flow, but fortunately, habits are hard to break and after we develop the habit of tapping in, we can again pretty quickly to save the day for ourselves.

It's wierd, for me, there is this place in the back of my mind and heart, I can move into and or pull forward any time I want to, and it feels really good.

Just knowing it's there and that I have access to it whenever I want, allows me to leave for a time when I need to be able to relate to others on all levels for bits of time.


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


Edited by gettinjiggywithit (11/02/04 01:01 AM)


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Being Happy [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3306413 - 11/01/04 09:37 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I was cut off from this for many years..and I was desparately unhappy. Now, it is the bedrock of my life. No matter what it is always there unchanging and strong. On my dying day it will be in that place of happiness that I make my last stand on this earth.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3306543 - 11/01/04 10:04 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Huehuecoyotl said:
I saw a post here the other day that deserves further attention. It asserted that happiness was dependant on external criteria such as money, marriage, or close familly ties. I will here assert that these things are the product of happiness, not the other way around.




I agree.  I saw the post, or thread, too.  Happiness is a condition that exists exclusively of our material possessions, ties, etc.

Quote:

Happiness is a totally self motivated condition. It does not matter what your physical condition may be at any time. Being happy is merely a personal choice to be so. I have had many rough times in my life. I have been dirt poor and single...I have been dirt poor and married...I have had marital and famillial difficulties that seemed unsurmountable. Even under the most desparate of situations my happiness only faltered for short operiods of time. Internally we all have a well of happiness that can be tapped under the worst of conditions. This ability is contingent upon acceptance of self and situation. I would have responded to the original post, but I could not find it.




Yep.  It's about taking each challenge as one finds it.  Happiness does not lie in the fact that one received a million $.  Rich or poor, one can be happy. 

I have been mostly "poor", and there have been times of having enough to meet my needs.  I'm still hoping that God sees it fit that I become rich.  :grin:

But at any time, it's just been a blast.  Hell, you guys wouldn't believe some of the shit I go through just to do what I do.  But I'm not going to let the challenges get the better of me, and that's what's fun for me, in life, is taking on the challenges. 

Even if I never get rich, the ride was grand as hell.  :grin:


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3307204 - 11/02/04 12:29 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

While you Lunar and others make contentions, I am referring, not to some hypothetical mind-state, but statistical studies of people ACTUALLY rating their own happiness.

Once again, I am not talking about what should or should-not be, only what IS. The factors that I mentioned are all positive contributors to real-world happiness.

Can one have ALL of those things and still be miserable? Of course. Can one have NONE of those things and still be happy? EXTREMELY unlikely.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Swami]
    #3307310 - 11/02/04 12:57 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

You can quote all of the statistics you want, but personal experience shows me otherwise. Once again, if something works in a practical sense for me, all of the people in the world cannot tell me otherwise because I have experienced it first hand. It doesn't matter if my model is incorrect(everybody's is); whether it works or not is what counts.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3307459 - 11/02/04 01:33 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

R-i-g-h-t. Drug trials should be abandoned because they are based on statistics. Anecdote should be the criterion for what works.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Swami]
    #3308256 - 11/02/04 10:19 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

That is not even the same animal. Chemistry and Biology are exact sciences, but 3 years as a psychology major taught me that psychology is NOT exact or even a true science at this point. That is why I eventually went for computer science...it is definable and exact. Of course, more happy people are married and have stable jobs and lives. That is because, in my view, these things are the manifestation of happiness. In my life, until I learned to take responsibility for my happiness, I had a sucky job that was dead end and I was not really pleased with any relationship in my life. When I took responsibility for my self my whole life changed. Things have just fallen into place. No statistic you could quote on personality could be recognized as empirical science.


Edited by Huehuecoyotl (11/02/04 10:54 AM)


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3308343 - 11/02/04 10:55 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

That is not even the same animal. Chemistry and Biology are exact sciences, but 3 years as a psychology major taught me that psychology is NOT exact ...
Not exact, but certain basics HAVE been solidly established. Primates NEED touch. All mammals get extra cranky when starving or when overcrowded. The external does affect the internal.

Happiness = Actual Reality - Desired Reality

The greater the difference, the greater the unhappiness.

When I took responsibility for my self my whole life changed.
Without knowing anything about you except for your afore-mentioned drinking and weight problems which are totally self-inflicted, I can see where taking responsibility could lead to new vistas.

However, I was involved both directly and peripherally with families that have lost children. The emotional damage caused by this external appears to be permanently scarring no matter one's beliefs.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3308347 - 11/02/04 10:55 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

the source of happiness is different for different people. it is more difficult to feel happy when we are in physical hardship, but only if we identify ourselves with what is happening to us. anthony demello discusses this topic superbly. it is when we associate ourselves with our conditions as in "i am rich, i am a lawyer, i am married etc" that we become vulnerable to suffering. it is because we choose to make those conditions the criteria for happiness, we CHOOSE not to be happy UNLESS we have those things. but by systematic examination and discarding of such falsehoods, we can enter a state where life itself is the ONLY criteria for our happiness, our joy.


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Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3308354 - 11/02/04 10:57 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

the source of happiness is always this or that :P
your source is life itself?

blblba,  :confused: :thumbup:


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Gomp]
    #3308374 - 11/02/04 11:04 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

"certain basics HAVE been solidly established"

Yeah, but this is still a very long way from being an exact science until that point anecdotal evidence has credibility scientifically du to a lack of established rules for complex behaviors. When you take responsibility forr yourself that includes being responsible for your emotional state.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3308465 - 11/02/04 11:27 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

When you take responsibility forr yourself that includes being responsible for your emotional state.

This is the type of stuff that I am in disagreement with you on. Car gets a flat? No biggee. Lose big bucks in the stock market? Worse, but still no biggee. Come home and find that your house was burgled and your wife was raped and THEN if you can put on a truly happy face, I would be most impressed. I don't know of a single person who could do that (unless they didn't give a damn about their wife).

I guess all those Iraq kidnap victims who cried and pleaded for their lives needed better spiritual/emotional training.

It is a KNOWN fact that certain foods and chemicals (EXTERNALS) can affect mood. This cannot be argued. We are bio-chemical creatures. Depressives have different brain chemistry than those without mood disorders. Understand that I applaud you taking charge of your life, but pretending that there is NO outside influence is nonsense.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Being Happy [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3308521 - 11/02/04 11:44 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

"...for me it feels really good."



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (11/21/04 06:38 PM)


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InvisibleBuddahKillah
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Swami]
    #3308568 - 11/02/04 12:00 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I think the way to happiness is a mix between external things and internal things. A "middle-way" so to speak. Of course, the external has an effect on the internal... there is no denying this. The internal has effect on the external also, to a certain extent. Think about writing an essay, your mind-set effects the outcome of the external paper. If you are tired, depressed, or sick you will most likely not write at your prime. The same goes with money. I'm sure you could get much further with a job if you where happy and enjoyed it everyday. In turn, you would make more money from the job and, this external money would allow you to do things that make you truly happy from the inside. Of course, the best mind-set in the world could not make you happy all the time... but it CAN help you cope with the situation you are in. You people here are extreme left --- right. Learn to integrate your ideas.


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Being Happy [Re: Swami]
    #3308569 - 11/02/04 12:02 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Come home and find that your house was burgled and your wife was raped and THEN if you can put on a truly happy face, I would be most impressed.

Please all, reference Ped's new post about a break-in. Notice his reaction and that he is one of the more centered members here. BTW, I am making NO judgement on Ped, but the fact that external events affect ALL of us to some degree.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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