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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
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Registered: 05/22/02
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What would you do in this situation?
    #3906352 - 03/12/05 11:40 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

So anyway, this is a long story. I've been best friends with a girl for a long time. We hung out literally every day for hours. She broke up with her boyfriend, and asked me out. I agreed and fell in love with her. She convinced me to lose my virginity (yes I'm 21) to her. I hadn't had sex because I wanted to have sex with someone I loved and trusted. She told me she loved me and would never hurt me, and I had no reason to not believe her, she was my best friend.

The guy she was dating is my roommates best friend. Anwyay, a few days ago she told her one friend that I asked her out on a date, and that friend told my roommate (he didn't know we were seeing each other), and then her ex-bf. Her ex-bf immediately tried to reconcile things, and she told me she didn't want to, but asked if I could take her to see him, so that she could tell him to his face, that she couldn't get back together with him, but that they could be friends. Her ex-bf told her that the reason he didn't try to reconcile, and the reason he caused the break up is because he was waiting to see if I would make a move on her. (I didn't make a move, and who the fuck breaks up with someone to see if their sig other's friend will ask them out?). Anyway, she felt bad, and decided to get back together with him(not physically). But she said that she just doesn't want him to feel bad right now because he is going to the middle east for 2 years. (He volunteered even though she didn't want him to go, and he lied and said he was stop lossed). She said she wants time to transition from her old relationship to ours, and that he won't matter since he will be in a foreign country. I don't understand how you could go from telling someone you love them, and take their virginity which they value, and then say you want time. I have no clue if I should believe her that she wants time, or if she is just trying to let me down easily.

Anyway, she asked me not to tell my roommate how we dated, had sex etc. He's mad at me, because he thinks that I broke her and her boyfriend up by lying to her (which I didn't, and can prove), so that I could ask her out. But it pisses me off, because I didn't ask her out, and she doesn't want me to tell him. I think I really got pissed on in this situation.


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InvisibleWorld Spirit
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #3907883 - 03/12/05 05:15 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I think what's happened is this:
This young lady had it in her heart to provoke her boyfriend by sticking close to you. She watching out for herself and herself only. I would keep my distance from her (and thinking too much about her for that matter) and observe her behavior. Her intentions will eventually become clear enough so you can make a decision within yourself.


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Offlinediscoabe
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: World Spirit]
    #3912298 - 03/13/05 06:23 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Sounds like she was looking for a rebound relationship. The other guy may be out of her mind for the 2 years he's in the middle east, but if he comes back he'll go right to the front burner and you'll be left high and dry. If she's telling lies and mistruths then get the fuck away from her, nothing good will come of it. Good luck, I hope you can get it all figured out.


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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: World Spirit]
    #3912409 - 03/13/05 06:50 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Enter said:
I think what's happened is this:
This young lady had it in her heart to provoke her boyfriend by sticking close to you. She watching out for herself and herself only. I would keep my distance from her (and thinking too much about her for that matter) and observe her behavior. Her intentions will eventually become clear enough so you can make a decision within yourself.




It's really hard to distance myself from her, since she lives with me.  :crazy:


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #3914810 - 03/14/05 04:00 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

When you see too much of this  :drama: then do this  :bye:

How much are you willing to put up with is the better question. Beyond that, the whole "don't be honest about what happened" secret shit... show's you she has a different motivation then the one that has been expressed to you.

Else why keep it a secret? :shrug:

:goodluck:


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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InvisibleLocus
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #3915972 - 03/14/05 01:20 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

well, that sounds like a bunch of bullshit man. i think you got fucked on this one. you may just have to move on...


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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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Offlinestarptv23
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #3915982 - 03/14/05 01:23 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

i think you are there for her as a rebound...she doesnot want to be alone and wow you are there...chicks do this I know im one that did stuff like this when i was young also..Im 30 now and marries and i know what comes around goes around and i gre up).she is thinking nothing but her slef and hurting friends along the way...i think if you want to stay friends with her you need to stop hugging and be chummy with her or move out..you need to protect your self..and maybe one day she will grow up and things might work out...love yourself 1st...


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"Six words: drop out, turn on, then come back and tune it in -and then drop out again, and turn on, and tune it back in-it's a rhythm- most of us think God made this universe in nature-subject object-predicate sentences-turn on, tune in, drop out- period, end of paragraph. Turn the page- it's all a rhythm- it's all a beat. You turn on, you find it inside, and then you have to come back (since you can't stay high all the time) and you have to build a better model. But don't get caught - don't get hooked - don't get attracted by the thing you're building, cause... you gotta drop out again. It's a cycle. Turn on, tune in, drop out. Keep it going, keep it going- the nervous system works that way. gotta keep it flowing- keep it flowing.


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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: starptv23]
    #3918956 - 03/15/05 01:54 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

ugh, I was lied to again, she is currently out with her ex-bf, and its 2 am. I don't think she's coming home. Fuck.


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #3919014 - 03/15/05 02:12 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

:sad: It's not worth it, do yourself a favor though.

Allow her to know what a bitch she is, and a liar... It'll at least make you feel better if not also inspire her to re-evaluate her stance on relationships.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #3919030 - 03/15/05 02:15 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Psychoactive1984 said:
When you see too much of this  :drama: then do this  :bye:





Yep. She sounds like a "game-player". You don't need that crap and you should just drop her and chalk the whole thing up to experience...


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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: Le_Canard]
    #3919691 - 03/15/05 05:47 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ToiletDuk said:
Quote:

Psychoactive1984 said:
When you see too much of this  :drama: then do this  :bye:





Yep. She sounds like a "game-player". You don't need that crap and you should just drop her and chalk the whole thing up to experience...




It's hard to do that. This girl has been my best friend for a very long time, and she lives with me, which makes it even more hard. I've withdrawn from my college, have made arrangements to move out if neccessary, and have notified my parents that I may be checking into a hospital.


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InvisibleEvilEwok
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #3919701 - 03/15/05 06:03 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Look at the bright side atleast you got some.


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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: EvilEwok]
    #3919823 - 03/15/05 07:26 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

EvilEwok said:
Look at the bright side atleast you got some.




That's totally not the bright side. I have numerous oppurtunities to "get some", however I only wanted to ever have sex with someone I could be with for at the very least, a really long time. This was so important to me, and now its gone.


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InvisibleEvilEwok
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Re: What would you do in this situation? *DELETED* [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #3920494 - 03/15/05 12:11 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Post deleted by EvilEwok

Reason for deletion: icebergs



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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: EvilEwok]
    #3920664 - 03/15/05 01:05 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

EvilEwok said:
Eh sorry man.

I'm still a virgin and I'm 20 but being a virgin holds no value to me.

Let it go. And take the lesson learned, Don't put to much value on anything or your bound to be dissapointed.




I understand that. Most guys don't value their virginity. My virginity was literally the most important thing to me. I obviously have emotional problems. I only wanted to be with one person my whole life, so when I made the decision to give myself to her, I literally made that decision.  :sad:


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #3920928 - 03/15/05 02:31 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Sorry. I didn't mean to sound harsh or anything. It just seems to me that she's causing you so much pain. Ask yourself: is it worth it?


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: Le_Canard]
    #3921290 - 03/15/05 04:09 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Let us be your Hospital.... We're free of charge.

Bounce back, and don't dwell.... What is dwelling on the situation doing for you? Your running over the same thing in your mind over, and over, and over..... It does nothing but cement your perceptions of the event deeper and deeper.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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OfflineJROS14
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #3922097 - 03/15/05 07:36 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

get away from her - she obviously still has feelings for him. out til 2 am with him??? cmon... ya u lost ur virginity, and that really sucks. but i would tell her flat out ur not going to speak to her again, and get away from her and find someone else who makes you happy and doesn't have any baggage associated with her.


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**GRoUP HUG**


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Offlinetomk
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #3922819 - 03/15/05 10:16 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

blacksabbathrulz said:
My virginity was literally the most important thing to me. I obviously have emotional problems. I only wanted to be with one person my whole life, so when I made the decision to give myself to her, I literally made that decision.  :sad:




Thats what having expectations about life will get you.  Why not let go of expectations and live rather then alternating between dreaming about the future and holding on to regrets about the past.  :thumbup:


--------------------
"I am eternally free"


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: What would you do in this situation? [Re: tomk]
    #3922871 - 03/15/05 10:27 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

:thumbup: great post tomk.

NEXT HER! She isn't worth your time, unless you like to degrade yourself and wonder about it. I've experienced something similar as well... and it's the best option... don't put up with that shit, you don't have to. You only have to put up with your own shit.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


Edited by Psychoactive1984 (03/15/05 11:15 PM)


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