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SoopaX
Criminal DrugAnalyst
Registered: 11/12/04
Posts: 1,690
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"Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors
#3859726 - 03/02/05 08:47 PM (19 years, 30 days ago) |
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http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4109&n=1
'Tony's Law' Would Require Marijuana Users To Inform Interested Neighbors
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WASHINGTON, DC?Citizens spoke before Congress Monday in support of Tony's Law, a Senate measure that would require all marijuana-law offenders to inform their neighbors if they're holding.
"Right now, countless Americans are living on the very same blocks as convicted illegal-drug users," said Sharon Logan of the Weed For Tony Coalition. "Without a federal mandate requiring full disclosure, how are unsuspecting residents supposed to find any decent weed?"
Designed to protect Americans from dry spells, Tony's Law was named after 19-year-old New Jersey resident Tony DiCenzo, who went nine months without getting high before discovering that he lived in the same apartment building as a reliable marijuana source.
"Can you imagine the shock and anger Tony must have felt when he found out that the guy on the second floor possessed the Schedule I federal controlled substance?" Logan said. "The offender could have invited poor Tony into his apartment to smoke some at any time. It's heartbreaking."
Tony's Law would create a national public registry of drug-law offenders' names, addresses, and pager numbers. Additionally, offenders charged with dealing marijuana would be required to either post signs or go door-to-door and let neighbors know when they're holding.
Privacy-rights groups oppose the legislation on the grounds that it violates the individual's right to a stash, but Austin, TX's James W. Clancy is one of many stoner-rights lawyers who traveled to Washington to rally in favor of the law's passage.
"Millions of Americans love to be high," Clancy said. "Unfortunately, their neighbors often keep them in the dark about what kind of shit is going around."
Clancy and other proponents of Tony's Law argued that the bill would result in increased domestic trade in consumer snack products and a heightened sense of community and well-being.
More powerful, perhaps, were the personal testimonials of hundreds of drug-drought victims, who stood before lawmakers to share their experiences with dope deprivation.
"As a parent, I don't have a lot of time to dedicate to finding weed," Minneapolis resident Kyle Berman said. "All my wife and I wanted to be able to do was get Tina and Tyler to bed, put on a movie, and smoke a joint. It wasn't until the police busted the guy across the street for growing marijuana that we realized how close we'd come to actually finding some pot. A whole set-up with lamps and everything was less than 50 feet from our living room. It sickens me to think about it."
Several lawmakers have spoken out in opposition to Tony's Law, largely due to what Rep. Chris Chocola (R-IN) called "complications stemming from the illegality of marijuana."
Nonetheless, the bill's many devoted supporters said they'll continue their fight.
"After nine months of hell, Tony eventually found a hook-up through the friend of a guy whose brother met someone at a former girlfriend's birthday party," activist Stephen Miller said. "In spite of the nightmare he was going through, Tony didn't give up...and neither will we."
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If only...
-------------------- Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: "Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors [Re: SoopaX]
#3859768 - 03/02/05 08:56 PM (19 years, 30 days ago) |
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--------------------
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Stardust21
Stranger
Registered: 12/13/04
Posts: 15
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
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Re: "Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors [Re: SoopaX]
#3859777 - 03/02/05 08:57 PM (19 years, 30 days ago) |
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hilarious
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HagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher
Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 10,028
Loc: Overjoyed, at the bottom ...
Last seen: 1 month, 11 days
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Re: "Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors [Re: SoopaX]
#3861343 - 03/03/05 06:15 AM (19 years, 30 days ago) |
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Good humor.
-------------------- I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine
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Baby_Hitler
Errorist
Registered: 03/06/02
Posts: 27,634
Loc: To the limit!
Last seen: 7 hours, 8 minutes
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Re: "Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors [Re: SoopaX]
#3862290 - 03/03/05 12:16 PM (19 years, 30 days ago) |
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I was about to get mad.
Then I realized it was a funnee.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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DNKYD
Turtle!
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 12,326
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Re: "Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors [Re: Baby_Hitler]
#3864499 - 03/03/05 07:13 PM (19 years, 29 days ago) |
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Quote:
Baby_Hitler said: I was about to get mad.
Then I realized it was a funnee.
Haha, same here. That was a good laugh.
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blkhole
Comfortably Numb
Registered: 08/09/04
Posts: 104
Loc: Tinpan Alley
Last seen: 17 years, 6 months
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Re: "Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors [Re: SoopaX]
#3864539 - 03/03/05 07:19 PM (19 years, 29 days ago) |
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that's great, I was about to get mad too!
-------------------- With our love, we could save the world, if they only knew... -George Harrison R.I.P. http://irevolution.org
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z@z.com
Libertarian
Registered: 10/13/02
Posts: 2,876
Loc: ATL
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Re: "Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors [Re: SoopaX]
#3865038 - 03/03/05 08:59 PM (19 years, 29 days ago) |
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The best part is the picture and caption.
Above: A convicted drug user in Kenner, LA informs his neighbor that he has the number of a guy.
-------------------- "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." - C.S. Lewis "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniencies attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson
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Psychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
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Re: "Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors [Re: z@z.com]
#3865112 - 03/03/05 09:10 PM (19 years, 29 days ago) |
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I didn't even bother looking over it because I read what was posted without reading the link. Good site.
-------------------- "Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi "We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin "Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers." -It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall. -Substance over Style. -Common sense is uncommon.
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gotmagog
searching fortruth andlogic...
Registered: 01/18/04
Posts: 239
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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Re: "Tonys Law" Would Require Marijuana Users to Inform Interested Neighbors [Re: Psychoactive1984]
#3872035 - 03/05/05 05:37 AM (19 years, 28 days ago) |
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Yeah, www.theonion.com rocks
I read it every week. There is a column from this guy there , Jim Anchower, who is the stoner stupid and lazy archetype. Sometimes it nerves me that stoners are shown as such idiots there. But i guess, he is just the uberstoner of them all, an ideal to strive to, hehe
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