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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,946
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
Dry Humor Thread
    #3770909 - 02/12/05 02:55 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Share the wits of your dry humor!

















[Warning: Really Dry Humor]










































[Seriously: Dry Writ Ahead]


























[You are one brave soul]

































Just the other day, I had a profound, shattering realization:
















All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.


LOL!




--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
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Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3770932 - 02/12/05 03:01 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

A doctor goes to a bar every day after work and orders an almond daiquiri. One day, the bartender notices he doesn't have any more almonds, so he finds some hickory nuts laying around and uses them instead. The doctor tries the concoction, and asks, "Is that and almond daiquiri?"

The bartender replies, "No, it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."


--------------------


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InvisibleJim
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Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,898
Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3770942 - 02/12/05 03:05 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

You could ski through a revolving door with these (that of course is saying there is snow on the ground.)



--------------------
Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: Silversoul]
    #3770946 - 02/12/05 03:07 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

A pirate walks into a bar, and he's got a ship's steering wheel attached to his crotch. He goes up to the bartender and the bartender asks him, "Hey, what's with the wheel?" The pirate replies, "ARHHH, ITS DRIVIN' ME NUTS!"


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InvisibleautomanM
blasted chipmunk
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Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 8,026
Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3770958 - 02/12/05 03:11 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

why cant a monkey with a wooden leg kick the seeds out of a pickle?



































because icecream doesnt have any bones.


--------------------
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: automan]
    #3770974 - 02/12/05 03:18 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Q: What did the Garbage Can say to the Sidewalk?









A: Nothing. Gargage Cans don't talk!


I almost slapped my knee after reading all these replies! Boy I might need a glass of water now!



--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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InvisibleSilversoul
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3770985 - 02/12/05 03:21 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Q: What's the difference between a Deadhead and a pile of shit?



A: The pile of shit smells better.


--------------------


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OfflineRandolph_Carter
НơĻ?ĢΉō

Registered: 06/14/00
Posts: 29,281
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Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3771158 - 02/12/05 04:10 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

So a baby seal walks into a club.....


--------------------
"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)


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Offlineage40
boy man

Registered: 12/07/04
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: Randolph_Carter]
    #3771214 - 02/12/05 04:23 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

What do you call a sheep with no legs?








a cloud


--------------------
I wish I was a headlight on a north bound train...



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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: age40]
    #3771291 - 02/12/05 04:55 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

A robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?"

"I'm very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter.

"Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again..."




--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineTinTree
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3771350 - 02/12/05 05:22 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

AHAHAHAHA


--------------------
"I'm afraid of losing my obscurity. Genuineness only thrives in the dark. Like celery."
- Aldous Huxley


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: TinTree]
    #3771481 - 02/12/05 06:15 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

one train leaves LA at 5:00am heading East at 45 mph, another train leaves Miami at the same time heading West at 50 mph. assuming the tracks were direct vectors going to the opposite city, whos on the phone?


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineCaptainJailew
Apathetic and Idon't care

Registered: 11/10/04
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: Todcasil]
    #3771518 - 02/12/05 06:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Why are elephants better at nimbly?










BECAUSE THEY WOBBLE BETTER!


--------------------
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds" - Albert Einstein



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InvisibleLouiseLouise
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: CaptainJailew]
    #3771534 - 02/12/05 06:33 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

A man walks into a department store with a dog. He starts swinging the dog around by his legs.
Salesman asks the man with sunglasses on, sir, can I help you?
the man replies, nah, just lookin' around

Edit: that's pretty dry, cracker dry...

anyone for a juicy one?


Edited by LouiseLouise (02/12/05 06:35 PM)


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OfflinePhychotron
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: LouiseLouise]
    #3771873 - 02/12/05 08:47 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

two peanuts were walking down a spooky road one night, one was assaulted


--------------------
On a mission to prove that the truth gets you no where.
They tried the truth, It didn't work. Then they wrote the bible. 

Only the foolish fear the inevitable.


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Invisiblericochet
Registered: 12/19/04
Posts: 1,112
Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: Phychotron]
    #3772060 - 02/12/05 09:31 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

what's brown and sticky?





a stick


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Invisiblekaiowas
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Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
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Re: Dry Humor Thread [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3772074 - 02/12/05 09:35 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

two blonds walk into a building....



















































you'd think one of them would have seen it


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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