ELECTRIC MONKS?....  (Order yours NOW....)    By: CaTonKa? L.L.C.

(If you don't find humor in life, you will not find humor in this thread, and prolly~ shouldn't read it....) 

UnenlightenedOne said:

Enlightened individuals and highly spritiual monks feel no hatred or negative feeling when they are high advanced.

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I bet that there is ONE certain way for a monk to feel INSTANT surge of complete "Negativity" - no matter HOW highly advanced they have become....        I was gonna~ say a bolt of lightning, but I guess those chances are pretty slim....  Soooo, a tazer gun might do in a pinch....   
Electricity is a bitch....   

For reference:  Electricity is the flow of negative electrons trying to get to a "ground" - (if memory serves me)....      So if a Monk was getting "ZaPPeD" with an electrical current, he would have a full surge of "Negativity" energy flowing thru his body....  Wouldn't matter how strong the "zap".... 

EVEN the highly "advanced" ++Monk++ would be completely --Negatively-- charged....   

Wonder what would happen if you hooked little battery pack up to a Monk....?     




The late night commercial on a TV near YOU:


Electric Monk^TM
                                           
                                           
Electric Monk^TM

If you CALL our Toll FREE Number NOW, You too could have your very own limited edition:  Electric Monk^TM....   
As an added bonus, we will send you this absolutely FREE wireless remote control...!
Complete with "INTENSITY DIAL", and an emergency button for full out "ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE"....!!!  BZZZZzzzzzzzzT**** 
You can spend HOURS of fun filled time Cranking YOUR very own Electric Monk^TM Full of Negative Energy and HATE, 
AT YOUR COMMAND & Wicked Desire.....!!!!
Is your Electric Monk^TM planning on making a speech....?    Ooooh, Contrair~.... 
Let your fingers dial that negative impulse wave thru your Electric Monk^TM....
Bored...?  Hand a to your Electric Monk^TM....!
The possibilities are ENDLESS.....!
And the battery pack _{(battery sold seperately)} is completely water tight....!!!!
Don't ferget~ that Monks Love to SWIM....!    WWweeeee...!  Send him out in the rain to get the mail...!!!!   
Hours and hours of FUN for the WHOLE family....!


Price for this wonderful torture gag device....?
Get your now for the low low price of:
      $$Your$$Humanity$$       

Our operators are standing by for your call RIGHT NOW....! 
                   
Call:
1- 800 - ZAP - MONK

That is:
1- 800 - ZAP - MONK
(1- 800 - 927 - 6665) 
                   
----(Believe it or not, "MON" = "666" on the phone...!!??)----






Electric Monk^TM....
By: CaTonKa? L.L.C.
<sub>(All rights Reserved)

No Monks were actually hurt in the making of this thread....
Batteries not included, Owner must use with responsibility and absolute discretion,
Not to be sold to minors, Not to be sold to people living in Nevada, California, and Madagascar...</sub>

           

This thread (if anyone reads it    ) was inspired by Swami's "My favorite S&P hypocrisy" thread.... 
So you might see some similarities if you read that one....(?) 

Quote:

Electricity \E`lec*tric"i*ty\, n.; pl. Electricities. [Cf. F.
  ['e]lectricit['e]. See Electric.]
  1. A power in nature, a manifestation of energy, exhibiting
      itself when in disturbed equilibrium or in activity by a
      circuit movement, the fact of direction in which involves
      polarity, or opposition of properties in opposite
      directions by attraction for many substances, by a
      law involving attraction between surfaces of unlike
      polarity, and repulsion between those of like; by
      exhibiting accumulated polar tension when the circuit is
      broken; and by producing heat, light, concussion, and
      often chemical changes when the circuit passes between the
      poles or through any imperfectly conducting substance or
      space. It is generally brought into action by any
      disturbance of molecular equilibrium, whether from a
      chemical, physical, or mechanical, cause.

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Look at all that Conflict of Polar activites...!   
Electricity is one focused and confused attractively opposed Mo~Flo~, or the lack thereof....   


Disturbed Equilibrium
Opposition of Properties
Opposite Directions by Attraction
Attraction Between Unlike Polarity
Repulsion Between Those of Like
Accumulated Polar Tension  (This one just sounded cool...)
Circuit Broken
Passes Between Poles
(Imperfectly Conducting) Substance or Space
Disturbance of Equilibrium
Opposition Vs. Attraction....


SUCH opposition in polar arrangement holding chaotic order in moving equilibrium....   
The hell that is this "Electricity" stuff....!?    BZZZzzzzttttt****

 


>^;;^<

Quote:

For reference: Electricity is the flow of negative electrons trying to get to a "ground" - (if memory serves me).... So if a Monk was getting "ZaPPeD" with an electrical current, he would have a full surge of "Negativity" energy flowing thru his body.... Wouldn't matter how strong the "zap"....

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