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North Spore Shop: Cultivation Supplies

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I hate posting stuff like this but here goes
    #3734088 -

because I need somewhere to get it out. :sad:

My brother died 7 months ago, he was a firefighter/EMT, for those who don't know.

There's a somewhat local charity that's collecting firefighter gear to send over to Iraq. Now, I don't necessarily agree with this 'war', but we still have "Tom's" gear. We're keeping his helmet (obviously). We can't donate his stuff back to the fire department - it's code. No one wears a fallen man's gear.

In a few hours, we're driving to meet this charity guy. Yesterday morning before class I went to the cemetery. It was covered in snow, so I shovelled the walkway and poured water on his marker so I could see his name. I haven't talked to him since Christmas, it's just been too tough. I went to let him know that his stuff was going to a good cause - it's what he would have wanted. He was an organ donor, and he so far has helped three burn victims, a young man his age with a major artery who would have died, and a bunch of other people. All he ever did in his short life was help people.

I've got mixed feelings about giving his gear away. I don't like the war, I don't like the reason why we're there, but I also don't like seeing his coat and boots sitting in his closet awaiting his return.. which will be never. I want to hang onto everything I have from him, but I also want to help people out. The parents asked me first if it would be okay and I said yes, just because it's what they wanted. I could tell by the looks on their faces. I said yes, and they could probably tell I didn't want to.

This place is in CT, out of state but not far from where we live, and near the casinos. Mother, father, and grandmother are coming to see the departure of his gear.. part of him.

I haven't been drinking since I started lifting again, but yesterday I hit the bottle too hard. I passed out at like 8, and woke up and am drinking again. I'm just so fucking horribly sad. Shine On You Crazy Diamond is on and I'm a wreck. Today is also the day my grandfather died 15 years ago.

Life sucks, but all that you leave behind sucks even worse :frown:

sad2dope :frown:

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3734135 -

Its tough man my dad is Fireman and its tough and it goes with the title....my thoughts are with you and your family man.....Shine on


P.S. I got the same song on as im reading this Pt2....

Things will get better man.. in time...

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: LooksLikeRain]
    #3734231 -

no matter who starts the fire, whether you agree with their principles or not, putting that fire out will save lives. your brother's gear will save lives if it is used, if it sits in a closet it will only feed moths.

i think ur doing the right thing. my sympathy is yours.

take care.

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3734336 -

my condolenses d0pe.
you know what you need to do.
hang tough bro.


--------------------
:pacman: - - - -  :pill: :mushroom2: :pill2: :mushroom2: :regularshroom: :mushroomgrow: :pill: :pill2: :mushroom2: :poison:

:sun::heart::sun:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
"your avatar is dirty."

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3734439 -

:sad: Sorry man. I'm sure you know he's in a better place now, though. Just wait out this sadness like a storm.

:heart:





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--------------------------------


Mp3 of the month: Wild Things- Another Colored Ink Drawing (A.C.I.D.)


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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Learyfan]
    #3734505 -

For what its worth,try and keep off the sauce, it only makes a tough time tougher.Your Bro went through his tests and passed them with flying colours,maybe that's why he was summoned so soon,i guess this is your test now,and you have to do what feels right,hang in there,time is a great healer. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3734532 -

he is likely somewhere better,

time heals all.

good luck


--------------------
R.I.P. Hunter, you will certainly be missed

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3734602 -

Firefighters kick ass. Sounds like your brother was a great guy. Hang in there.


--------------------
"America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat

“Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.”  -- Thomas Jefferson

The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance.

The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3734705 -

Damn. I am so sorry to hear that about yur bro, s2. :sad:Losing a direct family member is the hardest to deal with. I lost my grandma to pneumonia, on Thanksgiving of 2003, and reading this thread brought tears to my eyes, because the pain and loss never really goes away. It just recedes to the darker depths of your mind, waiting for triggers to bring it back to the light. The shit is painful, but you are doing the right thing and the best thing, imo. Someone earlier in the thread said that it doesn't matter who started the fires. What matters is your are helping to extinguish them. Your brother would want that, if my feelings of him are correct, which I think that they are. Anyway, I hope that you resolve your issues with the bottle and rise above, because that is a snare to prevent you from fully healing and moving on with your life. Your bro is looking on you right now. Do you think he would want to see you like this? I think not. He would want you to continue on in the manner that he set forth. I hope what I have said helps you in some way, Dope. You seem to be a great guy and great guys rise above. peace


--------------------



:murray:

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3734719 -

that really hurts man, i can feel your pain  :sad:
hang in there, know that you are doing the right thing by donating his gear. weather you agree with the ideology behind it or not, the people in this war are just like us...many don't want to be there. they deserve the best equipment they can get.
it's really amazing that your bro can continue saving lives, even in death. he sounds like quite a guy.

:heart:

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3734723 -

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling ......hang in there my friend, your doing the right thing even though it hurts!

:thumbup:

Are you in NY ?


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The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!


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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Ripple]
    #3735571 -

Very close, yes.

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3735582 -

Having a brother die must be the worst thing in the world. I say give the gear, but keep his helmet or something.


--------------------
I am in love with Acidic_Sloth


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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: looner2]
    #3735588 -

Got the helmet and the badge, man. They're not goin ANYWHERE.

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3735655 -

Hi 2 dope,not sure if this is a good idea or not, but could you auction Toms gear on ebay with the proceeds going direct to the fire dep and maybe the uniform going to be reused by the charity as well,if you explained the facts,contacted the fire dep, etc,you never know how much good it might do,sorry if it sounds dumb, but i was thinking of getting the best out of a bad situation.

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: drowneduck]
    #3735673 -

Donated it this morning, filing for $1500 back on my tax return, and I robbed the indians blind at the casino.

Hit two wild cherries and a red seven on a dollar machine with 3 bucks in it. Came out loaded. Ripped the tables up in blackjack, too.

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: Adden]
    #3735680 -

:smile: :thumbup:

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: drowneduck]
    #3735781 -

Awesome, see, s2, your bro was helping you out still :smile:

I hope this venting has and will help you move on :thumbup:


--------------------
delta9

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Re: I hate posting stuff like this but here goes [Re: delta9]
    #3735820 -

not just the venting but the other pubbers

I wanted to post it in PaMH but I'd get all sad and shit, instead of positive feedback like you guys

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North Spore Shop: Cultivation Supplies

Community > The Pub
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