I hate posting stuff like this but here goes - The Pub

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Pages: 1

Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:

I hate posting stuff like this but here goes

#3734088 - 02/05/05 03:58 AM (19 years, 2 months ago)

because I need somewhere to get it out. :sad:

My brother died 7 months ago, he was a firefighter/EMT, for those who don't know.

There's a somewhat local charity that's collecting firefighter gear to send over to Iraq. Now, I don't necessarily agree with this 'war', but we still have "Tom's" gear. We're keeping his helmet (obviously). We can't donate his stuff back to the fire department - it's code. No one wears a fallen man's gear.

In a few hours, we're driving to meet this charity guy. Yesterday morning before class I went to the cemetery. It was covered in snow, so I shovelled the walkway and poured water on his marker so I could see his name. I haven't talked to him since Christmas, it's just been too tough. I went to let him know that his stuff was going to a good cause - it's what he would have wanted. He was an organ donor, and he so far has helped three burn victims, a young man his age with a major artery who would have died, and a bunch of other people. All he ever did in his short life was help people.

I've got mixed feelings about giving his gear away. I don't like the war, I don't like the reason why we're there, but I also don't like seeing his coat and boots sitting in his closet awaiting his return.. which will be never. I want to hang onto everything I have from him, but I also want to help people out. The parents asked me first if it would be okay and I said yes, just because it's what they wanted. I could tell by the looks on their faces. I said yes, and they could probably tell I didn't want to.

This place is in CT, out of state but not far from where we live, and near the casinos. Mother, father, and grandmother are coming to see the departure of his gear.. part of him.

I haven't been drinking since I started lifting again, but yesterday I hit the bottle too hard. I passed out at like 8, and woke up and am drinking again. I'm just so fucking horribly sad. Shine On You Crazy Diamond is on and I'm a wreck. Today is also the day my grandfather died 15 years ago.

Life sucks, but all that you leave behind sucks even worse :frown:

sad2dope

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