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Offlinetrinity7
Qie Lan
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 104
Loc: Wide open space
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP
    #3428756 - 11/30/04 06:25 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Here`s s.th. I`ve struggled with for quite a long time:
I really love my boyfriend ( that was the easy part ) and I`d give anything to see him have what I`d call a spiritual opening.
He is a loving and caring person, though he`s got a macho attitude - a combination that definitely works for me.
We can talk about anything, but when it comes to the stuff that is discussed around here he closes in.
Now I don`t want to ( and probably can`t ) force it on him and I tell myself over and over again that it`ll happen when the time is right, and even if it will never happen, he`s still the man I love...BUT...Damnit, I sometimes feel so helpless when I realise I can`t communicate what moves me the most.
And I`m not talking about some religious stuff, it`s just that feeling, that knowing, that we are more than just this body and that there`s some kind of power/intelligence at work, call it cosmic order or whatever.
Sorry, I begin to ramble.
And I`m not even sure if I want to have him experience something like that because he might benefit from it or if it`s only out of ego motives.
But whatever it is, it hasn`t happened anyhow.
He could munch bagful of shroomies, listen to the most uplifting music and walk in the f***** Garden of Eden and all there is is: `Nice. I`m getting hungry now`.
And he swears there`s no such thing as... I can`t even put it in words, I guess I refer to that expression Kevin Spacey has at the end of American Beauty. That look on his face when he tells the girl that he feels fine.

Aahh, I stop right here and now.
Any thoughts about this issue are appreciated !


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OfflineGomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: trinity7]
    #3428806 - 11/30/04 06:34 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

tongue-tied


ask him not questions, make him ask you..  ?


:confused:
*edit: WAKE UP you wrote? what if he is a woken,.. :P
put him back to sleep? hihihi


--------------------


--------------------
Disclaimer!?


Edited by Gomp (11/30/04 06:36 PM)


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Offlinetrinity7
Qie Lan
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 104
Loc: Wide open space
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: Gomp]
    #3428906 - 11/30/04 06:56 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Gomp said:
tongue-tied


ask him not questions, make him ask you.. ?


How ?
If it`s done by `just being it`, I`m afraid I fail miserably.
Hasn`t worked in the past 4 years...


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: trinity7]
    #3428937 - 11/30/04 07:04 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Love means acceptance. Any desire to change your SO is a sign of non-acceptance and a subtle form of violence.

You need do nothing. If you believe in the spiritual world, then you MUST trust the Cosmic plan to unfold in its own way. Do you pry open a green bud to see the flower hidden inside?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: trinity7]
    #3428956 - 11/30/04 07:07 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

the reversal gomp suggests is a great beginning.
try to see other aspects upside down too.
it might reveal a way to your goal
it also really increases your personal freedom to
think things through backwards as well as frontwards.


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Invisibletekramrepus
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: trinity7]
    #3428964 - 11/30/04 07:08 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Dear Trinity,

It seems to me that you are being rather selfish in your desires. If your boyfriend is happy, and enjoying life...and HUMBLE, let him enjoy his OWN lessons that the "cosmic order" has placed in front of him.

Realize your love for him, and appreciate his love for you. Not everyone's mind is centered, or even aware of a spiritual nature, no matter how relevant and important it may seem to others (like myself, and perphaps you too).

Perphaps you are meant to be the spiritual one in the relationship, and perphaps he is not meant to be in this lifetime. That should not change anything!

If you feel you are "lacking" something because of his non-spiritual beingness, perphaps you should try to connect with others on a spiritual level. I would refer you to any hippie festivel, or jamband festivel in your area....perphaps a meditation center, or even a church (unitarian would probably be the best!)

The only other thing you can do is try to express yourself to him as much as you can, and if it works, congratulations....if not, its your decision as to wether or not its important enough to have an effect on an otherwise good relationship.

Sincerely,
supermarket


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Invisibletekramrepus
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: tekramrepus]
    #3428973 - 11/30/04 07:09 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

"Love means acceptance. Any desire to change your SO is a sign of non-acceptance and a subtle form of violence.

You need do nothing. If you believe in the spiritual world, then you MUST trust the Cosmic plan to unfold in its own way. Do you pry open a green bud to see the flower hidden inside? "




Damn, not only did he beat me to it, but he also said the essence of my message in less words.

Awesome :smile:


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: Swami]
    #3428983 - 11/30/04 07:10 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

doing nothing?  :confused:


--------------------


--------------------
Disclaimer!?


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Invisibletekramrepus
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: Gomp]
    #3429001 - 11/30/04 07:13 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Gomp said:
doing nothing?  :confused:





I think he meant there is no action she needs to take, in order to "wake up" her boyfriend.

She should love him for who he is, and trust the natural process of the "cosmic order".


Now, if he ASKS to be awoke, thats a different story.


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Offlinetrinity7
Qie Lan
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 104
Loc: Wide open space
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: tekramrepus]
    #3429087 - 11/30/04 07:31 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

And when he asks for it, I`ll come right back to you guys. :thumbup:
Thnx for the replies. They did reach me.


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: trinity7]
    #3429592 - 11/30/04 09:36 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

You could always force him into some sort of existential crisis. Near death experiences, severe alcoholism, drug addiction, or surviving a terrible accident all have been proven to do this under a variety of circumstances. Religious awakening is a distinct possibility... Short of that...leave him alone before he get's annoyed.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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Invisibletruekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3429935 - 11/30/04 11:01 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

"You could always force him into some sort of existential crisis. Near death experiences, severe alcoholism, drug addiction, or surviving a terrible accident all have been proven to do this under a variety of circumstances. "

or they could kill your loved one.

ha ha ha ha ha ha (robotic laughter <- )


--------------------
You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: trinity7]
    #3430356 - 12/01/04 12:34 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

It seems to me that thinking that your boyfriend needs to be "woken up", as in, "believing in a higher conciousness" is a little arrogant.

How can you be sure that he's not more right than you are?


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: trinity7]
    #3430860 - 12/01/04 02:27 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Let your boyfriend believe what he wants to believe. If he thinks there is nothing after this....then shit why persuade him differently. Are you the D.A.R.E of spirituality and think he has to open his mind to a bigger picture and think like you do. Some people are content and just being and not knowing.


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OfflineDivided_Sky
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: Phluck]
    #3430878 - 12/01/04 02:32 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

You never know, waking up is not always such a good thing. It makes me think of this Nine Inch Nails song called Slave. "Don't open your eyes you won't like what you see/The devils of truth steal the souls of the free" Waking up can easily make a person nihilistic, dissillusioned and depressed.

I've thought about tripping with my sister, but I'm not entirely sure that what is behind the doors was ever meant to be discovered. What I mean is that, I don't really know if the psychedelic experience is one I would WANT to share with anyone at this point.


--------------------
1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: vandago]
    #3430884 - 12/01/04 02:33 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I agree with what others wrote. You fell in love with him for the way he is. If you want someone who is "awake", and he's not "awake", then maybe you have the wrong boyfriend. I'm not trying to be blunt, but I probably am being blunt.

Share with him your knowledge, but love him for who he is. Don't change him. If there's knowledge he's needing, he'll be provided with it at the right time and right place.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,645
Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: Divided_Sky]
    #3430936 - 12/01/04 02:48 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

["Don't open your eyes you won't like what you see/The devils of truth steal the souls of the free" Waking up can easily
make a person nihilistic, dissillusioned and depressed.




Touch


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Invisiblerogue_pixie
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: Swami]
    #3431288 - 12/01/04 04:19 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Swami said:Do you pry open a green bud to see the flower hidden inside?




I've done that before.  :laugh:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #3432742 - 12/01/04 02:48 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

"You need do nothing. If you believe in the spiritual world, then you MUST trust the Cosmic plan to unfold in its own way. Do you pry open a green bud to see the flower hidden inside? "

i know you dont really believe this.

You are part of the cosmic plan, trusting in that plan doesnt mean you never brush your teeth or wipe your ass, or help a friend in need.

Do you pry open a bud to see the flower inside? maybe not, but lets put it another way

"do you water a flower to help it grow?"

if you like the flower you do.

i know what your saying though, everyone unfolds in their own way. However i think that if you care for someone you try to help them in the best way you know.

sad truth is though, ears that are not open WILL NOT hear.

so unless he desires to hear, your just chattering at a wall.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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Offlinetrinity7
Qie Lan
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 104
Loc: Wide open space
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Wanting to see a loved one WAKE UP [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3453620 - 12/06/04 09:17 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Sorry for the late reply..I don`t try to push the thread up again.
I just read Moonshoe`s post now.
That sums up the dilemma. Exactly !
Yes Swami & the others, you`re right: wanting somebody to be different sucks. It is a kind of violence and I should just let him be.
And yes Moonshoe, you`re right as well: If you`ve stumbled upon something, which you think is a good thing, you`d show it to a friend, dontya ?

Let`s put it that way: Say you take a walk with a friend and suddenly you see a strange new sight.
Would you keep quiet because it might unsettle him or would you tell him to look over there ?

And yes again @DividesSky: you`re right, it`s not necessarily a smooth right. So I shouldn`t push somebody in it ( if I c?n do at all ).

All of you got a point. And I`m still confused...


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