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 Tengu
journeyman
Registered: 06/07/01
Posts: 77
Last seen: 20 years, 6 days
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 Love V2.0 
#382163 - 08/30/01 02:04 PM (22 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hi all,
I feel like i have to speak about some personal thoughts and i didnt know to whom, so i decided to post it here. I believe some of you can understand my feelings - at least i hope so.
(when i speak of love i dont mean feelings of the body - thats for all those who like to misunderstand people)
I recently discovered my main "goal".
I want to be loved. And i want to love others.
Over the past years i thought money would give me all i need. I so dramatically changed my point of view in the last hmmmm perhaps 2 years.
Its really obvious, you may say. Everyone wants to be loved. But look around. Where do you find real love?
My parents REALLY love me. I know it. They love me more then everything. I am glad to have my parents. I love them also like they do.
What else? My friends dont love me. We get along very well, we have fun together, but there is nothing behind it. We are just some guys with similiar interests. When my interests change my friends wont be there anymore.
There maybe one exception, she is one person which i love for her beeing. And i think she does as well. I am happy to know that one.
I believe i have soo much love to give away, but there isnt really one to accept it.
All people i meet nowadays just think of their precious possessions, thier car their pc or their damn drugs.
I know so many people who use drugs to be cool or to fuck em up or things like that - buts that doesnt fit in my post.
Nobody really cares for other people.
I feel that i need to love someone and i need to be loved. But i never really had the chance to feel it.
Sometimes i think my circle of friends is kind of small, but when it comes to meet all the ones who could be (or were) friends i realize that i cant stand being near most people for a longer period. Thats because most folks care a shit for others.
Someone who cares about you.
Someone who hears your words when you speak.
Someone who doesnt only think of him/her self.
I am desperate i never found anyone who fits me.
One said i should not hope to ever find such a person. But i do. I think all humans should think more about their feelings. Speak them out. Be aware of their feelings. That would help.
There is no real end of my stream of thoughts about this probems, but i think for this post i will end them here. More another time.
I thank everyone who read this for their time that they spent on me.
PS: The V2.0 is because i wrote a similiarpost a hour ago and short before it was finished my pc hang itself up :-(
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 MeltingPenguin
Pooh-Bah
Registered: 08/29/01
Posts: 2,138
Loc: new england
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Re: Love V2.0 [Re: Tengu]
#382172 - 08/30/01 02:24 PM (22 years, 1 month ago) |
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I was pretty much the same as you. Then last year i found the one for me. It took 19 years, but it happened. YOur heart seems to be in the right place, as long as it stays they're you got nothing to worry about. THe toeist philosiphy is to just let things happen, and good will come of it. It worked for me truly.
PS- there's a lot of love on Bisco tour ;-)
www.discobiscuits.com
go to a show
JamBands are totally Crescent Fresh!!!
www.jambase.com
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Growing anything is good for the soul
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foo
tsonoqua
Registered: 08/21/01
Posts: 101
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
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Re: Love V2.0 [Re: Tengu]
#383018 - 08/31/01 10:02 PM (22 years, 30 days ago) |
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The thing about parents is.. well, You're monther loves you, when your mother had you her reason for living became you and was your birth.
But I don't really feel like the love that I have for my parents is the same kind of love. I love my parents but I'm not sure if I would throw myself in front of a speeding train to save them.. ANd I think most people are this way. All I mean is I don't live for my paretns. I don't live for anybody but me right now. And that sounds horrible but it's true and I don't think it IS horrible just honest.
"I know that paranoia is the vision of what's happenening
and psychosis is the hallucinated vision of what's
happening, that paranoia is reality, that paranoia is the
content of things, that paranoia's never satisfied"
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"I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
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inbetween
addict
Registered: 09/13/99
Posts: 83
Loc: maps
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Re: Love V2.0 [Re: foo]
#383168 - 09/01/01 03:16 AM (22 years, 30 days ago) |
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love is a response, but I don't think you can make an economy of it. Then you are kind of stuck in that scene of the wedding when you feed each other your wedding cake and kind of smear it over each others face. You really need to bring all of yourself or else it isn't really love, I think a better word then love is appreciate: to value justly, to be aware of, to be grateful for, to increase in value.
Edited by inbetween on 09/01/01 04:02 PM.
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my vocabulary did this to me
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psilocybe cubensis
Blood, guts, andbroken teeth.
Registered: 08/09/00
Posts: 1,220
Loc: Lost Angels
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Re: Love V2.0 *DELETED* [Re: Tengu]
#383187 - 09/01/01 04:20 AM (22 years, 30 days ago) |
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Post deleted by psilocybe cubensis
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dragoon
enthusiast
Registered: 05/16/01
Posts: 204
Last seen: 21 years, 10 months
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Buncha lovey dovey butt stuffin e-tards is about all you'll find at a bisco show.
Edited by dragoon on 09/01/01 11:36 AM.
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dragoon
enthusiast
Registered: 05/16/01
Posts: 204
Last seen: 21 years, 10 months
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Re: Love V2.0 [Re: Tengu]
#383245 - 09/01/01 10:43 AM (22 years, 30 days ago) |
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I feel the exact same way as you and PC , I used to think money would make me happy when I was young but I would look around me and say to myself, this isn't how it's gonna be, fuck cars, computers, clothes, do I really give a fuck? No I wanted to connect, I wanted companion ship I wanted love, where to find it? I haven't foggiest. But they say in the strangest of places if you look for it right.
Peace
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Tengu
journeyman
Registered: 06/07/01
Posts: 77
Last seen: 20 years, 6 days
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Perhaps you can find it everywhere. Make the person be aware of their own love for others. I dont know how. perhaps be kind to them. do everything for them what you want them to do for you, and perhaps even more. But thats just theory. who has the nerves and the time to try it endless often?
so everything just stays as it is and was and will be. perhaps you have the luck to meet someone or you dont have it.
i am really happy to know some fellows here - they do exist, people who think like me :-)
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inbetween
addict
Registered: 09/13/99
Posts: 83
Loc: maps
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Re: Love V2.0 [Re: Tengu]
#383520 - 09/01/01 07:56 PM (22 years, 29 days ago) |
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man, there are all kinds of love and compassion. there is mommy love and there is invigorating love. One maintains separateness (while noticing the inevitable mergings) while the other tends to be regressive and ultimately stifling. Maybe I am preaching to the choir. Whatever. I am responding to tones and intuiting. Idiot compassion is lavishing someone with all the love that you want yourself. it is a form of manipulation. it would be idiot compassion if I said to you, you are such a beautiful person because you really love love. And to degrees you are, you understand. It is beautiful, in its intention. Maybe I am just jaded. The world I live in is too harsh for idealism. Of course, by degrees I am the most idealistic person I know, because that is the only way to survive in conditions this harsh. Here is an example.
I was tripping with a close friend of mine. He was saying, I want to kill myself. Then he would laugh and see it as ridiculous, then he would want to kill himself, then it would all be obvious again. You get the cycle. Then, out of desperation he says that he loves me. Obviously I am flattered. I know that he means it, but more importantly he wants my attention to ground him. I was just floating through space stations, really not up for a real trip anyway. Just knew it would be a while before I saw him again, and we were having a good time, decided to take it to the next level. At any rate, one's relation to one self is very important and delicate, and we are (my bias) living in a world where people don't give a shit. I didn't blurt out I love you too. He eventually came to a conclusion very much like the one you are talking about. That is, giving the type of love that you would like for yourself, feeling the responsibility of really loving someone. That I was happy to hear him say. Love is expecting the best out of the people you know, and giving the best you have to offer. Sorry if my mind doesn't work like yours. I figure if we are going to evolve we need to accept psychological diversity.
Hey, this is an edit. Just reread your first post. and realized I really missed where you were coming from. The ironic thing, (ironic is a completely inappropriate word right now) is that I actually felt very much, and continue to feel (with different words) much like your first post. To find your people, your psychological family, to assist your maturity beyond your biological family, who are not forgotten, but returned to again and again, from new places of intergration, you have to actualize your particular interests, the reasons why you think you are on this planet, what you have to offer to the cause. and people will be found, and you will create something greater than yourself in that interaction. That girl. (I have one too who I have been in love with for about 8 years off and on,) that soul connection, soul connections in general are what this is all about. If you pay attention, and don't sell yourself out, you will be blessed beyond belief when the time comes to appreciate it.
my vocabulary did this to meEdited by inbetween on 09/01/01 09:12 PM.
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my vocabulary did this to me
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RedNucleus
Causal Observer
Registered: 02/26/01
Posts: 4,103
Loc: The Seahorse Valley
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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I have a friend that I've known since third grade. Our friendship is more than just mutual interests. Our minds are extremely similar, to the point that I know just what he's thinking often enough to scare the hell out of him, and we're different enough so that we can learn a lot from eachother. It's really good to have a friend like that.
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 Namaste
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