|
daba
Stranger
Registered: 12/30/02
Posts: 3,881
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
|
Still confused
#3362836 - 11/15/04 04:19 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
A few years ago I found the marvels of the psychedelic world. I was amazed at what it showed me and it turned my way of thinking around 180 degrees. It showed me how apocryphal society was, how superficial people were, but most importantly, how shallow I was. So from there I changed my life. Unfortunately, for the past year, such is all I can think about. I'm really confused. I want to reach a state of being where I can be happy, but I can not. This excessive thinking also makes it very hard to accept other people as my friends, since I'd rather not talk about trivial matters like other peoples' lives or the weather or other bullshit. Call me selfish, but I'm not about to embrace what doesn't interest me, nor am I going to pretend that I am interested. It is all about my philosophy on life: being true to one's self. I'm all about trying to find happiness without externalities yet keeping an open mind at the same time. These other ambitions and goals, such as becoming "successful," they are just sights I have set to keep myself realistic in this type of society. That, and to keep me occupied. Right now I do not know what kind of life I am going to lead. It has gotten to the point where I can't even sleep over this fuss. It's hard to figure out what I'm even searching for, and if it is what I truly want, not my ego. It's hard to have a conversation without drugs, philosophy, or depth. I have sought out advice. From my information I have gathered to just "let it go" or to "stop thinking so hard." I cannot. I feel that I have been shown something and that I simply cannot neglect it. Nay, it would be just surpressing a great truth and I do not want to live my life deluded from the truth. Can anyone relate or offer advice to my ramblings? You may contact me on AIM, ICQ, MSN, or YIM. PM me if you would care to chat. Thanks for taking your time to read this.
Edited by daba (11/15/04 04:33 AM)
|
DMTelepath
Nut
Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 567
Loc: States of America
Last seen: 19 years, 1 month
|
Re: Still confused [Re: daba]
#3362863 - 11/15/04 05:00 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I am so with you man. Taking on psychedelics is such a large step in ones journey. Just as when you meditate for years, it pulls you back harder the more you do it. I recommend meditation (you should really try some excersises, most people don't even care to try), it's what you're probably looking for. Before i learned meditation (mushrooms actually taught me meditation), i was thinking too hard and looking too deeply into things. The simpler, the better. There are meditation excersises which do not make you quiet your mind (as this is hard for so many people). Some require dancing and/or spontaneity. Before i learned meditation, when i tripped, i'd feel insane and thought i was seeing the complex end of the spectrum. When meditating on mushrooms, everything clicks, and oneness occurs.
Just some advice man, be happy man! Also, do you smoke reefer? Peace
-------------------- Me, Myself, and GOD
|
daba
Stranger
Registered: 12/30/02
Posts: 3,881
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
|
|
>> Also do you smoke reefer?
No, I don't anymore. Cannabis also made me think too much about things in general, and I don't enjoy it.
|
ArmFromTheAbyss
Old Hand
Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 1,368
Loc: Down here in Babylon
|
Re: Still confused [Re: daba]
#3368151 - 11/16/04 09:37 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I know exactly how you feel.
High perception can be the best and worst thing to happen to you. At points it can seem unbearable. You can feel like you're all alone even though there are plenty of people surrounding you. Sometimes I would feel a breaking point where I just couldn't take it anymore.
But this is life. As bad as your mental suffering gets is as good as you will one day feel. It may even take decades, but it will be worth it. I bet you'll find that in time all the ignorant people who seem happy now will one day be miserable. Just as you are troubled now yet one day will be content. Thinking about that is what saved me from plunging deeper into self destruction. It gave me hope.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. And one day you will die and your ego will dissolve. You'll become one with the light and remain blissful for eternity.
Never give in.
--------------------
|
daba
Stranger
Registered: 12/30/02
Posts: 3,881
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
|
|
Indeed, the temptations of this world are so great. I'm drowning in them.
|
shroomydan
exshroomerite
Registered: 07/04/04
Posts: 4,126
Loc: In the woods
|
Re: Still confused [Re: daba]
#3371769 - 11/16/04 10:18 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
A great man once said "Without love in the dream it will never come true."
After hundreds of trips and about 40 semester hours of philosophy, I still can't tell you what it's all about, by I do know that life is meaningless without self giving love. find somebody or some people and love them.
|
realitydown
Earwig of Peace
Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 3
Last seen: 16 years, 11 months
|
|
Hay daba. I know where your coming from.... I just got through a blinding trip, even now very tricky to think on one subject, so forgive me...
You all know how it goes... (I'm) lying there in absolute awe as I repeat statements of fact in my head with ever decreasing certainty... Every time they just bounce off some ageless wall of reason and knowledge which just seems to only say, "listen". My god, actualy -listening- to a trip with the full spread of human sensory power? Thats gotta be special. Thats something I would love to do.
Anyway, a few pertinent - arguably fundemental, things occured to me. Firstly - Every living thing on this earth seeks acceptance above all else. Secondly - Only other beings can grant acceptance. and not to sink the ship with luggage but also.... thirdly - contentment is the result of acceptance. Be it a spiritual excstacy of ego loss, nirvana, or actualy being happy with ones acheivements in life. To feel you have done yourself justice.
Its dawned on me that all we can realy hope for in life is contentment. With ourselves, our environment, our friends and our choices.
And remember, philosophy never solved anything!
-------------------- --------------------------------- If humanity and our world had a market value, or share price... Would it be going up, or down?
|
|