Anonymous #1 said:
Sex-yes but usually she is seemingly angry about it. Like 3 times a month or so. I feel like she's just doing it outta duty. Doesn't wanna leave saying she didn't give it.
Married-8yrs
Kids-young 1-9
Get along with families good.
We get out and go on dates and stuff but she is always unimpressed
I'm 42 she's 39. We got along great in the beginning now its different.
Things have got better since I let my inner dr. Jekyl out. I've snapped. Began to push back telling her how fucking unfair and overly critical and so it ends on a really dangerously unsettled note. So I'm basically feeling like the divorce papers are gonna drop but now she initiates sex more and acts less unsatisfied by it.
Weird.
I always thought if i let out my inner bad guy things would get worse. She treats me better and while she still thinks I need to do better go to therapist and stuff she seems more stable now that ive for the first time in our marriage. Just got mad back. I don't like having it go this way. But unfortunately I really feel like the whole mood in our relationship is more stable. Just by getting mad back. We resolved absolutely nothing as far as I'm concerned but she's acting better to me anyway.
You women really do not want men to be nice. Do you? So why do you all plus my mom brainwash us into being nice?
I think its more individual baggage some people arent able to let go of for whatever reason. We all have some, even if you think you dont. Not sure what past your wife has that makes her act the way she does, but its there, and its influencing her in its own ways. And I wouldnt say (healthy) women like mean guys - but do think women in general respond to men who arent afraid to take a stand, even if its for a cause they cant directly identify with.
I guess its worth considering if this is the hill your marriage needs to die on, but from what ive read above, id say its Not worth ending your marriage over this. Like you said, she kind of responded in a way to your actions and standing up for yourself. Though thats not a long term solution, it is a sign that there are sparks left that can initiate a change for the better. Call me stubborn, but I would rather die trying to make my marriage work if i knew theres the potential for things to be good again than call it quits. If in your shoes, id let my wife know Im never fucking giving up, and she has to deal with it, but i also am not going to be talked down to or disrespected, and she needs to recognize that I deserve a partner who respects me as much as she does. Then id pound the shit out of her pussy, and make flirting with her a regular thing, even if she shooed me away. Id stay persistent, never give up attidude, gonna make this work hell or high water, and just keep trying to overwhelm her with positive husband eenergy till she finally either says fuckit im in too or hands me divorce papers.
Lastly, one married guy to another, if you can establish a routine that involves you two hanging out, and then getting intimate like 1-2x a week, that consistency can be great. Ive found that my marriage loves positive consistency. Weekends after the kid goes down we have 3-4 drinks together watching shows, and then have sloppy ass sex. Thats been our routine for the entirety of our marriage and gets us through a lot of the boring ass stuff like work bills chores and appointments. I look forward to weekend drinks with her more than just about anything..
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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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