Asante said:

People could make rhymes about killing people if it were presented with more entertainment value.

Reading such a rhyme is a chore, an investment, and when you have done so there are barely returns other than the notion that “imachavel has a thing with killing”.

In my first rhyme I used Pub meta humor. In my second I relied on deliberate excessive gore. Both had a punchline.

Those are entertainment elements for the reader, your rhymes seem written for the writer, and I think few others than you read them.

You may “have more with killing” than I am comfortable with since what you do seems more driven by desire for author catharsis than with reader entertainment in mind.

Even the autosummary AI finds no redeeming qualities in the post to recommend to read it for:

Quote:

This post is a disturbing and violent narrative from an individual who claims to have killed multiple people, justifying his actions as a means to prevent earthquakes and fulfill a divine mission. He describes his killings in graphic detail, referencing mental illness, hallucinations, and a belief in reincarnation and spiritual communication. The text includes accounts of murders committed in various settings, with the author claiming to have been influenced by a perceived higher power and a desire to stop natural disasters. He also mentions interactions with law enforcement, a trial, and a prison sentence, while expressing confusion over others' lack of belief in his stated motives. The post is filled with violent imagery, religious references, and a distorted sense of purpose.[

---

It doesn’t discern whether artistic effort was taken.

---

Oh man I am sorry the ones you wrote were so much better

mine were written for the writer and not for the reader

It's a chore

And then the AI even said no artistic effort was taken

You might not even take the time to read and understand in a few lines I may rhyme one syllable in another I may rhyme five or six syllables

But look. I must have written a hundred times here what anyone else has

To be honest some of them are way too long and some of them are much shorter. Some of them the lines are uneven way too many words in one and way too few in the other. Others line up perfectly.

Look to be honest I don't even really think this thread should be in this pub. I wouldn't know where to move it to though. I feel all threads in the pub eventually end up like this.

But you're right it is becoming a chore. All right 300 lines for someone else to write three lines. By the time I've done another 300 they'll have just done another three.

It's like you go build 20 houses and someone just lays the foundation of another house and doesn't like the architectural style and design of what you've built.

Perhaps they just want to rip it down and rebuild it themselves.

I'm fine by that. I just questioned if there's going to be any rebuilding.

I would love for someone to show me how it's done. Write it up properly.

be my guest. As I said I think it's still a miracle that this thread is at least about rhymes positive or negative in its criticism or however. I mean I'll give it that. 100% it's still about the subject that started as. It hasn't turned into politics or anybody getting banned. None of it.

I could probably even take any single one of these posts simply take the rhymes and rewrite the whole thing with less words it would be a totally different story but still use the same rhymes. It would look simpler and cleaner it would be totally different but....

... I don't know why go through all that.

Like most things that happen in this pub I really don't think no matter what I would have written anyone would really try to understand and read it beyond what could be processed in the first four seconds of thinking.

Anyway just saying what I think. As everyone else does. Opinions I guess everybody has one. Much like something else

twighead said:

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE said:

Quote:

justifying his actions as a means to prevent earthquakes and fulfill a divine mission. He describes his killings in graphic detail, referencing mental illness, hallucinations, and a belief in reincarnation and spiritual communication. The text includes accounts of murders committed in various settings, with the author claiming to have been influenced by a perceived higher power and a desire to stop natural disasters. [/quote]

---

---

ok this is cooler than I thought, I'll give it a go


I prevented a 10.0 earthquake,
by burning their bodies at the stake,
who?
the billionaires!
who?
the billionaires!
I stopped dead a hurricane,
by rolling their head around all of spain
who?
king leopold the 2nd!
who?
king leopold the 2nd!
I saved the world from a great famine,
by putting a poison arrow through a bad man,
who?
a faceless cabal leader!
who?
a faceless cabal leader!

---

Asante said:

MAGA threads? Get with the times!
I’m gonna be killing people that rhymes
Gonna bury them one by one in the pines
Won’t know it’s me but there will be signs.

I’m OP, your homie imachavel
y’all post OTD so it's straight to Hell
gag you with socks so you won’t yell
gonna take my time and do it real well.

Not with a knife or a pistol, no
I ain’t no boring-ass killer, yo
think I’m gonna kill, tho
with a silicone dildo.

Bludgeon yo ass on the back of yo head
whack whack whack until you are dead
its a silicone rod so no pool of red
won’t let your STDs put me inna hospital bed.

People that rhymes be gettin’. on my nerves
“well you rhyme too”? that’s just absurd
You rhyme in two’s, i ride the four-rhyme surf
death to two’s you lame-ass smurfs.

God am I gonna whack yo brain
I swear you’ll be in a lotta pain
I’m gonna be going batshit insane
Run you over like a bullet train

Posting Pub gives me a ton of aggression
so i be startin’ my skull-whacking session
with a mod who bans for every transgression
bash his mod-tag noggin with a passion

You think I’m bluffin'? Well have a look
Your Asante’s got his goose proper cooked
His spirit guide got his fat ass foresook
Postin’ as him, rippin’ up the rulebook

God damn, this n*gga lost 100 pounds?
still can’t get his fat ass off the ground
I can never get him to the pines now see
Oh shit! A two-rhyme! I’m dead! Fuck me!

---

PatrickKn said:

Well, I'm tangled, I'm ecstatic - manic patterns automatic
Feelings vanish, reappear, fading in and out of panic
They dress it up in humor, laugh tracks on a slaughter cam.
I'm grinning at the mirror, like I don't know who the jokers am.

Teeth show, threat code, twitching in a trench coat
Shriek laugh leaking, like the valve on a lost hope.
Punchline smuggled in a hand grenade
"Here is your delivery!"
Tickled by the symmetry,
Neurosis in captivity.
Ha. Ha. Ha.

Well, man is just a monkey with a monologue and debts,
Tries to giggle past the graveyard, wears a smile while he sweats,
There's a chuckle in the knuckle, when the saber tooth is nippin'.
A morphine hit of dopamine, for moments when you're trippin'.

Yo, a polite smile is in the primate file.
Filed under, "please don't strike me while I gauge your dial".
Cheese grin, has-been, posture of the peacetime.
Cracking up in the face of things that eat up tribes in real time.

I've seen a meme turn an image of a firing squad into therapy,
Kinda funny, like a mirror cracking parallels in clarity,
Drone strikes, satellites, we hide behind the acronym's.
If you giggle when you shouldn't you'll be banished to a pseudonym

It's a fear grin, jester joking like a puppeteer
Open mouth offering, calm through the check in
Caveman coded, joking through the doom
When the lightning strikes twice, then the laughter's in bloom

Your body don't debate it, just converts the signal quick,
Stress leaks out the corners when the language doesn't stick.
That's your giggle loop - fight, flight, or shoulder bite.
It's a chomp down on the grin so the scream sits right.

Tell em it's a jungle and the jokes keep coming,
Like banana peels on trap doors, gut laugh summonin'
Comedy's a crypt key, you can fit it in the gridlock
My belly ache's a message from the lizard brain inbox.

It's a fear grin, a way to face new threats
Half reflex, half feelings of regret.
You don't laugh because it's joy, you laugh because it's loud
Like the gasp before the quake, when the plate gives out

Cue the nervous chuckle at the chaos in the crosswalk.
Cops chalk the scene while we giggle through the onslaught.
Real ones don't laugh, unless it stabs through the wallpaper.
Catch 'em off guard though, and they're spillin' like a salt shaker.

Different faces, same ghost in the gut string
Both bare teeth, but panic is the the older thing

A joke is the jitter in a palatable frame.
Yeah the scream wears face paint, but it answers to the same.
So every "ha ha ha", only half holds me
Folded in the chuckle is a, "don't control me!"

Two stems, one root.
Laughter and alarm, same body different suit.
The truth in jest is just a terror in a dress shirt
Both of them evolved where the nervous nerves networked.

---

Asante said:

It was a bit hard to get into the flow there and you lost me a bit on the lyrics.
Not offended, just… 9AM, digesting this.

Gotta put my pants on first for a proper rebuttal..

thinking..

I’m no rapper by any measure but..



Holy-
word salad wack-a-molee
went for low-hanging fruits and they still ain’ t juicy
ain’t no beggar so I can be choosy

but-

ain’t no braggart nor a fancy-assed lyricist
but what you wrote needs a straight-up exorcist
it’s about killing so I was thinking: tuff
but you wote bars you should be behind of.

-damn!

Straight up damnation
worst diss in the whole damn nation
wrote up a carnage but nothing to goon tho
its about killing so you wrote up a tombstone.

I mean-

10050 Cielo Drive house call
Manson vibes but bars for fuck-all
couldn’t catch the flow for one bit
how TF to respond to this skit?

so,

The best way to kill is not all
so i’m gonna follow my judgement call
rather than rebut with attempts at rap
I stop here, battle over, it’s a wrap.



*folds*

---

Asante said:

Yeah i made it into something it’s not
It caught zero +1 so it sure wasn’t hot
just my way of playing with it
and also yes, subtly protesting a bit.

I derailed the thread
my bad,
no hard feelings either way
I enjoy the macabre so I might just stay


But now that you mention it..

Something that didnt quite make the local paper in detail..

see..



There once was this guy, high as the sky on shrooms
Who got overcome with the most horrific of dooms
A missionary,Mormon see, of the LDS
His wife, in front of his eyes, turned into a Demoness!

It was the foulest of beasts, reeking of brimstone
He cried out for Jesus - but nobody home
He knew that, twas his home, his shitstorm to subdue
And deep within an eerie voice said: “Tis up to you.”

His poor, innocent, Godfearing wife
Sincerely got the shocker of her life
when, near the very climax of coitus
her man’s gaze froze, and hardened, thus.

Guy, still inside, pinned her down by the neck
she struggled and gargled, a near heart attack!
Off the nightstand he grabbed his snub-nosed revolver
His dick, vaginistically clamped stuck in her vulva

Now Trevor he was a good upstanding Christian man,
revolver unloaded, speedloader too on his night stand,
He felt the foul beast grab crushing hold of his cock
He totally lost twas his wife he had been trying to fuck.

He plunged the barrel square through her eye
click-click-click "Die, foul hellspawn, by the power of Christ!"
No bullets! Pulled out the barrel, eye gouged from the socket
Gun thrust, shattering teeth, “Foul beast! Suck it!"

click-click-click-click Trevor was seeing red
bashing the edge of the grip into her forehead
Again and again with true lumberjack whacks
Till her skull busted wide open - forgotten the sex.

Then it happened, the most cruel twist
At once, the bad trip, he snapped out of it
"Bethel, oh Bethel, oh what have I done?”
The voice said: “Twas up to you, and now she’s gone.”

The voice said to him, with sinister glee
“I’m a little south of your Christ-guy see?
Your wife is DEAD by your hand, good Sir
but it’s not too late to catch up with her..”

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want..”
The bloodied speedloader in his trembling hand,
clack-clack-clack-shut, reloading reflexes,
hammer cocked back in barely three seconds.

“…and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
The voice said, “That’s a mighty long time there, Trevor...”
Consumed by deep guilt, stark raving insane
just, “Shrooms make you gay.” and blew out his brain.

The police concluded a double-murder-suicide since she was with child, which miscarried postmortem.

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