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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation > Cultivation Confessional
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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Zef] * 2
    #29641330 -

Yeah I've considered it lately as well. Which is weird to notice. In a way it feels like just taking the idea seriously is already having lost, and then noticing that feels like... is it that way, or do i just want that to be true as an excuse to act as if. Of course it's that one. And I've ripped a couple friends' geek bars here and there, which isn't great. thin end of the wedge. I know myself enough to know I can rationalize away or special-case just about anything, so if any amount becomes okay, then every amount becomes okay. Was taking to my therapist about it this week. All these people also quit nicotine around the same time, end of covid, etc. I'm envious that they seem to be managing it fine, but they have things like newborns and very different lives, with different constraints, and different personalities. I don't have any of that stuff. 
 
In a weird way, it's also because I'm doing better lately. Covid, sobering up, work going remote, collapse of a tight knit friend group, all at once mean that I've avoided alcohol mostly by avoiding everything. Feels good to finally be heading back to the real world more, but I'd forgotten that I was playing with the difficulty setting turned down in one sense (hard in other ways, ofc)

the struggle is real. i just keep trying to remind myself that it's okay to want relief, and to have real things worth wanting relief from. but that it doesn't actually help in the end. if it did, i wouldn't have wanted out so bad before.

well said, marxcelium.

In any case, shit is hard, we're here for ya. good group in these parts.


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โ€”  ๐–ˆ ๐–” ๐–“ ๐–‹ ๐–Š ๐–˜ ๐–˜  โ€”


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Rasmodius] * 2
    #29641331 -

Unrelated left turn: if you haven't seen THE PISS SAGA, you are in for a fucking treat. this is old internet absolute fucking cinema. gripping stuff.



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โ€”  ๐–ˆ ๐–” ๐–“ ๐–‹ ๐–Š ๐–˜ ๐–˜  โ€”


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Churpee Choozle] * 4
    #29641348 -

Thanks, Churp! I feel better already after rummaging through old memories in such a linear way the other night. It's no wonder I have faulty mechanisms. I have some remorse for my actions toward the people and loved ones who were at the blunt end of my unpredictable nature in that part of my history closest to my dysfunctional upbringing. I'm looking forward to what comes out of this mission of self-care. It's possible that I may be the best version of my "self" by the end of it. Mush love, man. Thank you.

Beef, as always, I wish you the best. I'm just a message away if you need anything. Mush love to you as well, broski.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 1
    #29641350 -

Beef and all of the rest of you carrying something heavy, I hope this helps. We are going to get through this rough patch.


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Gilmour Hendrix]
    #29641393 -

Yea I kinda know the feeling beef ๐Ÿ’€ il say less ๐Ÿ™ hope you have some time to relax or reground yourself โค๏ธ


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An enigma some caerulescens n a mono ๐Ÿ˜Ž

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: bloodssonnew] * 4
    #29641437 -

Hi everyone!

I'm sharing a fragment of my experience. I started drinking at 13, my father was and still is an alcoholic. At 21, after several attempts to quit, I desperately called my local AA group. I was the youngest in the group โ€” it was liberating โ€” though I soon realized it was trading one addiction to alcohol for an addiction to groups. And I didn't see it as a long-term solution...

I had a friend who ran a bar near my house โ€” every night I'd have a berry herbal tea at the counter and we'd chat. It was enormous support for not shutting myself indoors. Shortly after, I began to understand that the problem was my relationship with the substance and the context. The former wasn't something I could factor in โ€” so I had to change the context.

I broke off practically all my friendships (everyone drank, of course), distanced myself from my father for two years, signed up for physical theatre school and dance school. I made new friends, discovered new places, and met my lady. To avoid cutting myself off from social life, I'd pick up LSD blotters, take a quarter or half stamp, and go to cultural events (theatre, exhibitions, talks, poetry slams) regularly. Eventually I left AA. It was later that I found out there had originally been a Step 13 in AA that mentioned taking LSD โ€” later removed.

Acid works, but you have to change the context. Fill the void left by alcohol or whatever the substance is. That's crucial โ€” that's the price. It's not about stopping, it's about refurnishing your life, changing as a person. And honestly, there's nothing more satisfying than starting from scratch once more. There's so much to discover... And old habits? We can always go back to them โ€” we already know them well.

Wishing you all strength and courage. Remember: problems that seem unsolvable stop being so the day someone finds a solution.

Hugs :heart:


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"Little shark in da bathtub"

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Re: Cultivation confessional *DELETED* [Re: BeefExtreme] * 2
    #29641473 -

Post deleted by KlarnEvil9

Reason for deletion: Because


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"For the powerful freedom-takers who rob justice from us all, that's why I keep my pistol loaded, powder, cap, and ball..."
Read more, post less!
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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: KlarnEvil9] * 2
    #29641633 -

I confess.

I just wish it was the weekend already


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Splittinghairs] * 1
    #29641654 -

Splittinghairs said:
I confess.

I just wish it was the weekend already


Same, I'm so glad I took Friday. Hope I can survive 5 more hours.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Marxcelium]
    #29641665 -

Marxcelium said:
My heart goes out to you, man. Working like that is no way to live, and yet, for most of us, it seems like life is unable to offer much of a realistic alternative. We had to pull my kids from daycare this year cause we couldnโ€™t afford it, so Iโ€™m caring for them during the day and working nights for the time being.

I know for a lot of us that, every time we look up, more money is going out and any semblance of security in life is galloping away from us. Sweating it out at work every day and having all that effort do nothing to shrink the feelings of vulnerability and stress that constantly menace you can only really result in depression and exhaustion. I hate it for you that the world lacks enough justice to reward your hard work with some peace, and I hope it gets better soon.

I also hope that trip rocks you and that you get some kind of renewal out of it.



Thanks dude.  Once upon a time i was a relatively wealthy young man.  Id bought and sold three houses, started and sold two businesses.  Then i got hurt and the state victims comp payout was a drop in the bucket. The govt denied my temp disability claim, thrice. Lost everything i ever worked for now im 60 hours a week and i straight up didnt have enough to pay all my bills this month. Put most of it on a cc.  Not sure what ill do next month but if things dont improve pretty quickly here im fucked, proper. No safety net. i was barely making it with the corporate gig but i was suicidally miserable.


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The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The OFFICIAL Cultivation Off Topic Discussion

โœธ-โœธ-โœธ

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Zef]
    #29641699 -

Zef said:
Splittinghairs said:
I confess.

I just wish it was the weekend already


Same, I'm so glad I took Friday. Hope I can survive 5 more hours.


Guess that was my mistake. lol. Should have just taken it off.

Hot as hell in the desert working construction. Just ready to inwind the body


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Favorite Teks

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme] * 2
    #29641729 -

Damn. Iโ€™m in the same boat and start an overnight role in a week just to make ends meet.

May we all create abundance. Peace. Happiness. And quickly!


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You can ignore the truth to your final breath. But trust me, it will meet you there to be ignored no longer.

The answer to your question is almost always 42
โ€œThe answer is always grow more shroom.โ€ Mr Piggy
- Those two answers coexist peacefully.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Splittinghairs]
    #29641796 -

Splittinghairs said:
Zef said:
Splittinghairs said:
I confess.

I just wish it was the weekend already


Same, I'm so glad I took Friday. Hope I can survive 5 more hours.


Guess that was my mistake. lol. Should have just taken it off.

Hot as hell in the desert working construction. Just ready to inwind the body


I hope you get a decent breeze tomorrow and forget it all the second you get home

I'm going to a music festival this weekend and it feels like the first time in forever I've taken time off. Seems like all of us have the same problem of working too damn much. Our team has chronically been short staffed which has been brutal, and we have people leaving now as well. But hey I'm excited to listen to good music and relax.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Zef] * 1
    #29641813 -

Zef said:
Splittinghairs said:
Zef said:
Splittinghairs said:
I confess.

I just wish it was the weekend already


Same, I'm so glad I took Friday. Hope I can survive 5 more hours.


Guess that was my mistake. lol. Should have just taken it off.

Hot as hell in the desert working construction. Just ready to inwind the body


I hope you get a decent breeze tomorrow and forget it all the second you get home

I'm going to a music festival this weekend and it feels like the first time in forever I've taken time off. Seems like all of us have the same problem of working too damn much. Our team has chronically been short staffed which has been brutal, and we have people leaving now as well. But hey I'm excited to listen to good music and relax.


I took a few days off last week to reset in the mountains and propose to my fiance. I needed a mental reset after finishing a masters degree. I hope you have fun at your music festival and get a mental reset! We love festivals and have one in September. Are you camping at the festival?


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*Not a therapist - Do not take advice from me

Be nice. You are loved. You deserve happiness. You are not alone.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: JoeTherapist]
    #29641848 -

Dude that's huge, congrats on both!!!

I'm glad you were able to get some time to take it all in. Wishing you two the best.

For some reason I've never been to a camping fest. I think I like to camp with minimal distractions and people because I sleep like a prissy princess. So hordes of cars and people sound like a disaster for me. I should try it at least once though...

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Zef] * 1
    #29641856 -

Gratz on the engagement Joe!!

After years of life and therapy. I have gotten to the point of leaving drama of work behind for the most/better part. As soon as I hit the road the cool breeze (of my AC) whispers โ€œthey canโ€™t hurt you anymore for the next few days!โ€

See. I just donโ€™t have it in me to do as many music festivals as I go and see ADTR when they come to my town but kinda mental overload. Going on their Bog Boat cruise and a lot more happy itโ€™s like 3k total people. lol.

Now camping!! That could be fun. I really do need to try a trip with a trip like that once.


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Splittinghairs]
    #29641911 -

I love camping. In nature And at festivals. But Iโ€™m the opposite. We sleep so heavy once we fall asleep, so itโ€™s not too bad. I was doing too reggae ish festivals, then moved and some of my friends DJ/have a production company that has expanded us into some bass/EDM festivals. Iโ€™m on the older side of the attendees but I like to think we go hard and fit inโ€ฆ I think everyone should try it, itโ€™s definitely not for everyone though. Either way festivals are amazing! I hope you get lost!


I had an amazing trip on the trip highly recommend!!

Thanks for the wishes and congrats.


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*Not a therapist - Do not take advice from me

Be nice. You are loved. You deserve happiness. You are not alone.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: JoeTherapist]
    #29641982 -

Okay I'll try a one nighter where we maybe go back for an early set then drive home like the old man I am :tongue2:

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme] * 2
    #29642027 -

BeefExtreme said:
Time for a reset. thinking of doing an acid trip this weekend and getting back to baseline




:rockon:  sounds like a good plan. 

I just got a beach house for the family next weekend. It's a giant decked out four story luxury beach house.  Just a few steps off the deck and you're right up on the shore.

I love acid and the beach.  Seems only right i take advantage.

I like to be somewhat spontaneous with my trips though. So I'm going to take some with me.. but no plan on when or if I'll actually take it.

We'll see how I'm feeling in general when I get there. And on any random day.  if it feels right.  then I'll definitely be turning on.

@churp inspired me.  With his latest beach holiday...  that dudes like my soul brother.

Is it me or do Beachbums always have good Candy?

 


 


Anyways.  Beef, bro I wish you safe travels if you do decide to turn on.


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:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie] * 7
    #29642081 -

I am smoking dmt tonight


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