The Lebowski Experience (tripreport)

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johantino
Traveller

Registered: 12/21/18
Posts: 22
Loc: Danmark

The Lebowski Experience (tripreport)

1
#25725284 - 01/05/19 02:22 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

TRIPREPORT 5 dried grams: The Lebowski experience

In my fifth experience with high-dose psilocybin, I had the Lebowski experience!
I will explain after some notes about the preparation and what actually happened, what I mean with 'the Lebowski experience'

PREPARATION: Fasting all day. Doing practical stuff I had postponed (fear/unwillingness to step into a role of responsibility). Ending my personal company. Ending commitment to a bank. Cleaning bathroom, tidy up appartment. Finding and reading letter from visionquest. Preparing "tight and ambitious" playlist and then letting it go.

Elaboration of my preparation: The preparation might not sound that overwhelming/ a big deal, but it really was for me. For example the ending of a commitment with a bank was a letter that had layed on my desk for more than a year(!) and just gathered dust, when I finally called the bank and ended the commitment the whole proces took like ten minutes and it was over, but somehow that simple act represented a real OBSTACLE in my mind. The visionquest letter: The letter from the visionquest was also very meaningful as I had not previously paid must attention to it: During a visionquest in 2015 I went 8 days to the wilderness with a guide performing an ancient ritual involving fasting and facing fears. And also, at the end, writing a letter to my future self. The playlist: the tight and overly ambitious playlist involved three songs/audios , the first repeated 32 times like a mantra, the second repeated 4 times ... just before eating the mushrooms , I realized I was putting too much pressure on my self and decided to just sit in silence with earplugs in and blindfolds on in my dark appartment. My personal company, called white bull consulting, represents (I realize now) 'taking too much on my shoulders' instead of trusting the loving guidance behind this universe, so ending that on the same day as the ceremony was also very meaningful.

Meaningful experience the day before the ceremony: Leading up to my third psilocybin ceremony in late november, I gave my huge white board to the family upstairs. The day before the ceremony (two days ago) they invited me up and I saw that it was filled with magnets (letters and other shapes, playful stuff for children), and it really tied the room together! ... it was a signifier that my letting go of control and the need 'to figure stuff out' was indeed at the right timing and now creativity flourished

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED:
[4.00pm], eating a little more than 5g of mushrooms. I managed to approach eating them in a manner so felt the taste to be okay (if not good), it took a deliberate focus as my inclination would be to not like the taste (and 'resist' eating them). This approach felt important.

[4pm-5pm], waiting for an effect, and nothing happened(!)

[5.20 pm] , going to buy a pizza

[5.30 pm], standing in a supermarket mustering all of my will power to not get lost in there and behave normally

[5.50pm] back in my appartment with a potato pizza and some organic apple juice

[5.53pm] , text message to a friend: 'Hi (name), are you home? Do you feel like coming over? :smile:

'

[6.09pm] , second text message to her: '..I've eaten some mushrooms, so if you feel like it, it must be without words and quiet' (at this point I was really feeling a significant effect)

[6.29pm], text from her: she would like to, but is sitting at home doing a home-exam (psychology studies), so some other time, asks me to say 'hi' to her (the mushrooms) and wish us a good time

[6.32pm], I respond with a thumbs up and a heart

[6.55pm], I text her with a message from the mushrooms saying that it says she could also come over when her homeexam is finished ... she replies in a way that suggests that she indeed will come over in a little while, which pleases me very much

[7pm - 11pm], lots of laughter and pleasant feelings, insights, feeling that its soooo funny to have a physical body and are so amused what it can do!

[around 9pm], I realize that 'The Big Lebowski' is the most PROFOUND movie ever made (see elaboration below)

[around 10pm], realizing that my friend will probably be coming soon, and starts to prepare my appartment even more for her visit: lighting candles, removing my huge old pc (which I rarely use) from my living room, cleaning layers of dust in amounts and places you would not believe, putting candles and decoration on the stairs leading up to my appartment, dressing myself appropriately , feeling completely uninterested in what other people think of me, whats important is my own self-respect and my respect and love for my friend

[11pm], feeling utterly convinced that the reason she did not come yet is because she is bashful/ very shy/ virginal about our meeting .. I feel like I am almost bursting inside, feeling so much tenderness and love for her, I dance around in my appartment, I also feel bursts of intense masculine energy as insights about violations of the feminine in our society forms in my brain, feeling in every cell that I will do anything it takes to protect, serve and heal that cleavage

[11.30pm], sending her pictures of my - now perfectly cleaned and cosy appartment - basically inviting her for marriage(!) and to come over and be with me (in that order) .. the invitation for marriage is very subtle as it is only evident from a ring I placed on a stone in my kitchen (not that visible on the picture I send to her ... somewhat glad of that little detail now :laugh:

)

[11.31pm], she responds with amazement of how nice my place have become (since her last visit) and says we will see each other after her exam .. I realize that she will NOT come over this night, and are so HAPPY to discover that I am not disappointed at all (!) , but really treasure the inner state of love I feel for her and not least for my self

[11.35pm], I eat the potato pizza and after that a cup of tea with some sweets also. Enjoy it fully.

--

I will write a little more about what actually happened, if you are curious about my insights about the Big Lebowski it is at the end of the trip report here.

Before leaving my appartment I realized that its something I should only do, if I was absolutely certain I could handle it. I knew that I could handle it because of my previous (quite intense) experiences. You can find the trip reports on my youtube channel 'johan tino frederiksen' if you are curious. They learned me how to claim ownership of my creative faculties in my consciusness, which is privy to being hijacked by self-organizing scripts running rampant (from one perspective) or demons (from another perspective). Reclaiming the creative faculties is a necessary step for creating paradise here on earth and expelling what needs to be expelled. It involves courage.

By reclaiming our creative faculties, we learn the connection between words, spells, hypnotic states and the power of stories, and until we learn this connection we are at the whims and mercy of those that do understand this connection. Beings that use it either to serve the common good or their own self-preservation and interests. The karma that will put its mark on the latter, does not seem to be enough for them to stop, so we need to look at these circumstances as a gift that ultimately helps us to grow up spiritually .

We start off in our consenses based reality. You know: the straight jacket that are being pulled over our heads when we were too young to fight it. In this position, we sit like a duck ready to produce fois gras, and crap can be stuffed down our throat that does not serve our own interests.

Just because some housewife enjoys her fois gras does not mean that the surprise that awaits her will suddenly vanish: What my psilocybin journeys have told me is that the law of karma in this universe is unescapable - and ignorance is not an excuse. While at the same time the grace and mercy is also limitless. If we dare to surrender to it.

During a trip I feel the tendency for something to 'grip my awareness' , take me off onto a journey that may be very pleasant or very unpleasant , but basically its something that grips me. Something that intrudes and take control of my creative faculties. The mushrooms helps me to discover this tendency. They do not give me the trip: They open the doors and makes me aware of something that is going on _all the time_ in our society , that we are cones in somebody elses game of bowling. Its time to re-arrange that game.

In the beginning I let that take me to places. Now I increasingly am able to stay in my body, and not escape the primacy of my experience. The wonders and pleasures of the body and the senses are really limitless! The pleasure I experienced during the trip, dancing around in my appartment was with my relationship to myself, to my inner feminine side (of which my friend was a symbol).

After the stage with the consensus-reality the stage with the individuated self comes. This is were you dont look outside of yourself anymore, for an authority figure, or someone to blame. This is (often) tough work.

After you have a sense of yourself (not the self you have been told about or learned from your surroundings), the process with the relationship between this self and something greater can start. This is where the real bliss, ecstacy starts to happen. As well as the terror if you are not ready for it. The mushrooms can help in this proces (or will show you if you need to go back to stage two where therapy, meditation, yoga and self-discovery without drugs is what is helpful).

THE LEBOWSKI EXPERIENCE:

Great art is a fractal glimpse of the whole: Everything is embedded in it.

Is the movie 'The Big Lebowski' great art?

When I saw the movie the first time my reaction were a shrug with the shoulders; sure there were some laughs and amusing scenes in the movie but I did not see the deeper meaning and the point of the movie.

What I failed to notice was that Donny, somewhere in the middle of the movie says something three times in a row. Regardless of what he says, the fact that he says SOMETHING three times in a row is itself a small miracle as he is INSTANTLY squashed and twarted to the ground like an insect by Walter. What Donny says is:

I am the Walrus.

... and then a little while later:

I am the Walrus.

.. and then finally

I am the Walrus.

And THEN he is twarted to the ground, but he delivered his message before he dies a little while after (sorry for the spoiler if you did not see the movie).

After a significant amount of mushrooms these words has the potential of opening a door.

All great art has a glimpse of the whole. And The Big Lebowski is indeed a masterpiece. Disguised as ramblings in the dark. If your whole reality is a nightmare, what will lead you out of that place will not appear as something meaningful within that dimension, it will appear foreign, like ramblings. All that is gold does not glitter. Trust your instinct.

What door is opening when following - here not the white rabbit - but 'I am the Walrus' ?

The door opens to something really really frightening. And really really beautiful. To understand that something like this is possible - both of these being true - we need to diminish the automatic software that our brain is normally running on, eg by eating a few mushrooms. Diminish our frontal cortex and the neural network certain interests in our society are very concerned with re-inforcing. We wouldn't like the ducks to display civil disobedience would we? We would not like the cones in this devilish game to move from their appointed position, would we?

The genious part of the movie, or should I say: the heroic part of the movie, is that the ONLY part of the script that has any meaning what so ever is these four words. In the words of Joel Coen , one of the producers:
"it’s a hopelessly complex plot that is ultimately unimportant"

No surprise that when John Turturro got the script he was very annoyed with it, fortunately he took his part anyway, and fortunately the producers gave him free hands to shape his role as he saw fit.

What made all this possible was that the producers had just made 'Fargo', and made a whole lot of money, so in this movie they did EXACTLY as they pleased to do ... followed their creative impulse without the straightjacket that artists is usually submitted to.

I am the Walrus, is a song by Beatles, it was a response to the education system that started to use beatles lyrics in the class room. To analyse the text. Help cultivate the children and bring them up as decent citizens. As this was like using an exquisite champagne for cleaning toilets, it naturally called for a response from John Lennon (who was long past the stage of being a docile agent of the state).

His response was a middle finger to the system, gently pulled until it went 'click'. The teachers could analyze the song endlessly and it would be pointless as it is meaningless.

So why is this such an important door opener?

Let me ask another question: Do you have the balls for the answer?

What was your reaction when you saw the beautiful movie Samsara, with all the music and landscapes (quite a trip, huh?), when - somewhere in the middle of that movie - the office man appears. Remember that scene? Were you frightened and had to close your eyes?

If you were, then mummy and daddy is going to take you in the hand and take care of things.

One thing though:

Fuck off.

It is alright to feel fear, just as long you do not let it - in ANY WAY - determine what you do.

Fear is one of the things used to keep everything in its place. There is no reason to fear anything. But gaslighting and manupulation DO exist on different levels.

So are The Big Lebowski just ramblings? Is the song by Beatles just ramblings? Is this just ramblings?

I am the Walrus is also a poem by Lewis Carroll, you know the guy who were rambling about Alice in Wonderland. Nothing to see there, just get back in line and do like your told, read stuff that increase your career perspectives and your bank account.

The 108 lines of that poem describes a walk by the sea, with as many tears from the seven sisters as there are sand on the beach.

Like the Coen brothers could say in the beginning of the Big Lebowski, so did the Walrus say in this poem:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

and ultimately what ever was being said was not that important for the small oysters following them, listening to the story.

Horrifying endings is an option for those who choose to stay ignorant and close their eyes. The ending, however, is optional and for us to choose.

In the Big Lebowski the main characters represents these aspects of our collective psyche:

the dude: the ego (seeks pleasure and tension release)
Walter: the superego (determined by values and morals of society)
Donny: the id (primitive, primordial thinking)
Maude: the wild and free divine feminine (seeks the divine masculine for balance)
the stranger: God

In addition to these five characters, there is one more significant character, which is the jesus (and in my opinion by far the coolest among them all). His display of sensual pleasure towards bowling balls (and 8-year olds ??) is one of the signs that he has moved past the stage of the consensus reality, and has walked the path in order to gain true insight about who he is. And this is ...

"not done through organizing,
its not done through avant garde parties.
Its done through just walking away from all of that.
Claiming your identity.
Claiming your vision.
Your being.
Your intuition.
And then acting from that
without regret
cleanly
without regret."
~ Terence McKenna

Thank you for the company this far. Will read your comments with interest.

Joyful will,
Johan

--------------------
"Only in a given situation when everything becomes doubtful, could some level of certainty be achieved."

Extras:

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Ajr12100
Stranger

Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 66
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months

Re: The Lebowski Experience (tripreport)

[Re: johantino]
#25742265 - 01/13/19 04:07 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

I have never seen the big Lebowski, however your analysis of it has made me add it to my list on Netflix- so thank you. I shall try to come back and edit this once I have finished the movie when I have time

It also seems like you have utilized mushrooms to understand yourself and the world to a better degree than most and are happier because of it, I always enjoy reading about someone’s discoveries they have made while tripping- many of my friends use mushrooms recreationally only and not as a tool to facilitate self growth and understanding which is fine but not nearly as exciting in my opinion

--------------------
“I'm a survivor too.
with enough sense to live
like an outlaw 30 sum years,
and get away with it.”
-Hippie3

“Embrace your inner agar. Do not fear it”