This is probably the best Amazon review I've ever read.

http://www.amazon.com/Wenger-16999-Giant-Swiss-Knife/dp/B001DZTJRQ/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top



The Wenger Giant Knife includes 87 implements for almost any situation:

    2.5" 60% Serrated locking blade
    Nail file
    Nail cleaner
    Corkscrew
    Adjustable pliers with wire crimper and cutter
    Removable screwdriver bit adapter
    2.5" Blade for Official World Scout Knife
    Spring-loaded, locking needle-nose pliers with wire cutter
    Removable screwdiver bit holder
    Phillips head screwdriver bit 0 Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
    Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
    Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5mm x 3.5mm
    Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6mm x 4.0mm
    Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0mm x 6.5mm
    Magnetized recessed bit holder
    Double-cut wood saw with ruler
    Chain rivet setter
    Removable 5mm
    Allen wrench
    Screwdriver for slotted and Phillips head screws
    Removable tool for adjusting spokes
    10mm Hexagonal key for nuts
    Removable 4mm curved allen wrench with Phillips head screwdriver
    Patented locking screwdriver
    Universal wrench
    2.4" Springless scissors with serrated self-sharpening design
    1.65" Clip point utility blade
    Phillips head screwdriver
    2.5" Clip-point blade
    Club face cleaner
    2.4" Round tip blade
    Patented locking screwdriver
    Cap lifter
    Can opener
    Shoe spike wrench
    Divot repair tool
    4mm Allen wrench
    2.5" Blade
    Fine metal file with precision screwdriver
    Double-cut wood saw with ruler
    Cupped cigar cutter with double honed edges
    12/20-Guage choke tube tool
    Watch caseback opening tool
    Snap shackle
    Mineral crystal magnifier
    Compass
    Straight edge, ruler (in./cm)
    Telescopic pointer
    Fish scaler
    Hook disgorger
    Line guide
    Shortix laboratory key
    Micro tool holder
    Micro tool adapter
    Micro scraper - straight
    Micro scraper - curved
    Laser pointer with 300 ft. range
    Metal file
    Metal saw
    Flashlight
    Micro tool holder
    Phillips head screwdriver 1.5mm
    Screwdriver 1.2mm
    Screwdriver .8mm
    Fine fork for watch spring bars
    Reamer
    Pin punch 1.2mm
    Pin pinch .8mm
    Round needle file
    Removable tool holder with expandable receptacle
    Removable tool holder
    Special self-centering screwdriver for gunsights
    Flat Phillips head screwdriver
    Chisel-point reamer
    Mineral crystal magnifier
    Small ruler
    Extension tool
    Sping-loaded, locking flat nose needle-nose pliers
    Removable screwdriver bit holder
    Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
    Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
    Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
    Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5mm x 3.5mm
    Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6mm x 4.0mm
    Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0mm x 6.5mm
    Magnetized recessed bit holder
    Tire tread gauge
    Fiber optic tool holder
    Can opener
    Patented locking screwdriver
    Cap lifter
    Wire stripper
    Reamer
    Awl
    Toothpick
    Tweezers
    Key ring
    Key ring

Product Description
This giant Swiss Army knife from Wenger is designed with an incredible 87 implements that perform 141 functions, making it the only tool you'll need to get any job done. Whether in your pack or on display, the Giant Knife is sure to be a conversation starter.

Quote:

First of all, let me tell you a little about myself and how I came to need such mystical tools of survival.

In the beginning, I was born from the ashes of Lincoln and Roosevelt then raised by Hemingway, a troop of firefighters, and werewolves. I was taught to fight evil of all forms from politics to the undead. I can tell you from experience, there has never been a tool half as useful as the Wenger - The Giant Knife. Let me give you a brief example from yesterday:

I woke up after my amazing night's rest in the Wenger's king size murphy bed (with satin sheets). Once the women were dressed and out the door, I made coffee from the Wenger's cappuccino machine. Then I headed out the door, Wenger in hand.

I came across a two old women selling crochet crosses. I pulled my Wenger out of my pants to get to my wallet. The ladies saw this and died in ecstasy just at the size of my Wenger. Now Armed with two crochet crosses, I went to the cave.

This cave was the home of a 58 mouthed snake that looked more like a chainsaw blade than a snake. After traveling 5 miles on the Wenger's hoverboard, I reached the treasure surrounded by the serrated beast. I unfolded my 3 Spartan army and easy bake oven from the Wenger and went into battle. After 15 minutes, the 3 Spartan's had dismantled the toothy monster's 58 mouths just as my cupcakes were ready. The four of us enjoyed my marbled chocolate-vanilla cupcakes (with sprinkles) while counting the treasure and mocking the mouthless snake that lay before us.

After counting the treasure, I pulled out the Wenger's Millennium Falcon and obliterated the Spartans. Seriously, I obliterated Spartans with the Wenger. I think that alone is enough reason to get one! Anyway, Spartans suck at sharing.

I flew out of the cave in the Wenger's Millennium Falcon and crossed the River of Desolation just east of The Mountain of Despair. I was hungry, so I pulled out the Wenger's giant spider legion and they shot down 4 flying dragons with their dark matter tusk lasers. It was pretty cool. Lunch was alright.

I remembered the crocheted crosses the old ladies left me. Their memory should be honored. So, I went to my local vampire castle. If you know anything about Twilight, then you know that everything you once knew about vampires is completely wrong. Inside the castle, there were dozens of tragically fake "glistening" vampires pining over this wimpy goth chick. The tension and virginity was so thick and everlasting that the only thing I could do was slay them all. I pulled out the Wenger's entertainment system and played the first Twilight movie. Mission... accomplished. I put the two crocheted crosses over the Vampire King's eyes. "You're welcome, old broads."

Now that I'm exceedingly bored, I pulled out the Wenger's hot air balloon and went to the moon. Moon men are pretty cool dudes.

I got to the moon just in time to catch the double sunset. I pulled out New York City from the Wenger and sat in the crown of the Statue of Liberty watching the Moon's double sunset with some chicks I found and a couple moon men drinking burnt martinis. Again, moon men are pretty cool dudes.

We partied all night inside this sweet party tent in the Wenger. Chicks love party tents. You wouldn't think a full wet bar would be something you'd ever use in a pocket knife, but it really comes in handy. And it makes the Wenger - The Giant Knife worth it, even if you don't drink.

That's all I can remember from yesterday. The pictures afterward were hilarious. I almost lost it when the penguins arrived. I must of gotten the Extreme Wenger because I didn't know the Arctic Circle was one of the tools. But even if you don't get a Wenger with the Arctic Circle... still worth getting. I highly recommend it.

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