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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 12 hours, 48 minutes
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I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers.
#23876050 - 11/28/16 06:37 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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So we spotted an asteroid heading our way without any chance of being deviated from it's path
My solution:
Build an bunch of titanium blocks that can be launched in space and assembled into a spike shape missile. Launch engine modules to attach to the spike.
Melt a shit ton of Titanium parts to create more spikes, but for different missiles this time. Design and launch the propeller in modules so they can also be assembled in space. Same with the fuel. Design nukes that fits in the assembly. Build 5 of these missiles. The tip is a titanium spike, the 2nd layer is a nuclear bomb, the 3rd layer is fuel, the fourth layer is the propellers
Aim at what the scientists say we should aim for and launch the titanium spike. We can reach speeds of 15000 mph easily. Add that to the speed of the incoming asteroid and you have massive impact designed to dig deep in the asteroid.
From there check if the impact changed the course of the asteroid enough to be safe.
If it's still going to earth, calculate and launch the nukes missile in the crater created by the spike.
If this doesn't change the course of the asteroid or destroy it. We're fucked.
Thoughts?
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The Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 30 days, 7 hours
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876061 - 11/28/16 06:41 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Depends how big of an asteroid we are talkin
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal] 3
#23876063 - 11/28/16 06:42 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I could achieve the same effect with two mortys and a jumper cable...
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
Edited by spirit_shadow (11/28/16 06:42 PM)
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flickedbic
Sojourner



Registered: 03/21/11
Posts: 4,673
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: spirit_shadow] 1
#23876117 - 11/28/16 07:03 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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The nuke could break it and then we'd be decimated by astroid buckshot. How about instead of nukes, powerful propulsion engines to redirect it?
I wonder how much advanced warning we can even expect.
"According to Yury Zaitsev, at Space Daily, an asteroid has a speed of about 55,923 miles per hour on average." https://www.reference.com/science/fast-asteroids-move-14186bcb348d4eb4#
Quote:
How can we avoid a catastrophic comet?
There are several ways of trying to deflect an on-coming asteroid. The first is to try the “ Hollywood approach ” and simply blow it up!
However, in spite of the possibly spectacular visuals that could result from “nuking it”, the shattered asteroid could merely become a swarm of slightly smaller and still very destructive space rocks heading towards our planet.
Really, this would only be considered at a very, very last resort.
Another way would be to just give the asteroid a nudge, to change its path away from the Earth.
Knocking it with some sort of impact could do this. Or maybe an unmanned spacecraft with enough mass could be put in orbit about the asteroid to effectively change the “gravitational pull” and alter the trajectory that way.
Orbiting around and landing on a comet may seem like the stuff of Star Trek.
However this was actually achieved in 2014 by the European Space Agency’s Rosetta space craft which also sent a small lander called Philae down to the comet’s surface. However, Rosetta took a decade to get to its comet destination.
So if the the asteroid encounters needed to deflect a Earth directed impact are to be effective, the asteroid would need to be detected many years in advance and shoved or pulled many million of kilometers from Earth
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/technology-science/science/expert-says-meteor-could-wipe-6447901
-------------------- Favorite entheogen experiences in descending order: 1)Combo of oral DMT + smoked Bufotenine 2)Amanita (urine drank twice) 3)Mushrooms > Achuma 16"+cid(still need higher dose Achuma)> Cid (still need high dose) 4)Morning Glory-HBWR (+cumin, cinnamon aldehyde adducts) > Methyl chavicol (need more activators) 5)Salvia (need to try quid)
All readable matter in the above post is ficticious... any similarities to real life are purely coincidental. Blessing.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876121 - 11/28/16 07:04 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Why titanium?
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 12 hours, 48 minutes
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: psi]
#23876166 - 11/28/16 07:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
psi said: Why titanium?
Titanium is stronger than Iron and most asteroids are 80% iron
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876172 - 11/28/16 07:20 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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The solution is clear. We need to send in Bruce Willis and a crack team of astronauts to deal with the asteroid.
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PlantManBee
undifferentiated



Registered: 11/17/16
Posts: 360
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: 404]
#23876202 - 11/28/16 07:28 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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WAY more exciting than the more practical flicedbic suggestion. and BAMM!!! 50 posts!!!!!
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876215 - 11/28/16 07:33 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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The earths magnetic field will take care of it, there is no need.
I know the history books tell us that a big astroid made it through and killed all the dinosaurs like a gazillion years ago or wutever, but thats all bullshit.
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crackbaby
shitpost aficionado



Registered: 08/31/15
Posts: 12,994
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: zZZz] 2
#23876292 - 11/28/16 07:53 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers.
pffft...i think the asteroid is going to need way more than 2 beers to get the courage to attempt something like this.
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MrBlueYoMind
Don't do drugs (Without me)


Registered: 04/27/11
Posts: 3,753
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: crackbaby] 2
#23876298 - 11/28/16 07:54 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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How about you just limit the asteroid to 1 beer, or help it stop drinking completely.
-------------------- Confucius say: He who sticks drugs in butthole has head up ass. EVOLUTION REQUIRES REPRODUCTION
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,564
Loc: Utah
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal] 1
#23876346 - 11/28/16 08:07 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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A nuclear weapon would be much more effective. This is because of physics. Nuclear weapons put out the most energy per pound of virtually anything. The goal would be to alter the asteroid's course, not obliterate it, and nuclear weapons are the best choice for this due to insanely large amount of force they can apply relative to the cost of lifting them into space. If the human race was in danger and money was no object, we could easily lift several thousand nuclear weapons into space to alter the trajectory of even the largest asteroids.
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PlantManBee
undifferentiated



Registered: 11/17/16
Posts: 360
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: nooneman]
#23876402 - 11/28/16 08:22 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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lol, y'all just want to blow shit up. unless all the efficient firepower is needed, I'd personally advocate for sub-nuclear means. but none of us are going to be consulted i suspect.
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The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra



Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876403 - 11/28/16 08:23 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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launching that much titanium would slow the earths orbit, slowly driving it into the sun
-------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: The Phleg]
#23876413 - 11/28/16 08:27 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Get this man another 2 beers. I have so many questions.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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PlantManBee
undifferentiated



Registered: 11/17/16
Posts: 360
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Enjoywho]
#23876431 - 11/28/16 08:33 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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hey i just smoked a joint and i figured out that there is no asteroid! Whew! that was close!
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SinSemilla
Stranger
Registered: 10/31/16
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: PlantManBee]
#23876573 - 11/28/16 09:22 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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So is there any huge asteroid heading to earth I find it fascinating it travels at 55K mph and we can see it's traveling towards earth and when it will hit it. It just won't come out of nowhere and hit us , we will see it coming for years
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wigglewak



Registered: 04/26/15
Posts: 1,961
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: SinSemilla] 1
#23876595 - 11/28/16 09:29 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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If the asteroid is drunk it may swerve and miss us completely.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 5 hours, 5 minutes
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: SinSemilla]
#23876842 - 11/28/16 11:31 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
SinSemilla said: So is there any huge asteroid heading to earth I find it fascinating it travels at 55K mph and we can see it's traveling towards earth and when it will hit it. It just won't come out of nowhere and hit us , we will see it coming for years 
I literally laughed :lolforreal:
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: spirit_shadow]
#23876868 - 11/28/16 11:38 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Couldn't we just blast a nuke or some bombs or something at it? I always thought that was what standard protocol would be if a large asteroid was headed this way.
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