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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
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I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers.
#23876050 - 11/28/16 06:37 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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So we spotted an asteroid heading our way without any chance of being deviated from it's path
My solution:
Build an bunch of titanium blocks that can be launched in space and assembled into a spike shape missile. Launch engine modules to attach to the spike.
Melt a shit ton of Titanium parts to create more spikes, but for different missiles this time. Design and launch the propeller in modules so they can also be assembled in space. Same with the fuel. Design nukes that fits in the assembly. Build 5 of these missiles. The tip is a titanium spike, the 2nd layer is a nuclear bomb, the 3rd layer is fuel, the fourth layer is the propellers
Aim at what the scientists say we should aim for and launch the titanium spike. We can reach speeds of 15000 mph easily. Add that to the speed of the incoming asteroid and you have massive impact designed to dig deep in the asteroid.
From there check if the impact changed the course of the asteroid enough to be safe.
If it's still going to earth, calculate and launch the nukes missile in the crater created by the spike.
If this doesn't change the course of the asteroid or destroy it. We're fucked.
Thoughts?
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The Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876061 - 11/28/16 06:41 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Depends how big of an asteroid we are talkin
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal] 3
#23876063 - 11/28/16 06:42 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I could achieve the same effect with two mortys and a jumper cable...
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
Edited by spirit_shadow (11/28/16 06:42 PM)
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flickedbic
Sojourner



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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: spirit_shadow] 1
#23876117 - 11/28/16 07:03 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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The nuke could break it and then we'd be decimated by astroid buckshot. How about instead of nukes, powerful propulsion engines to redirect it?
I wonder how much advanced warning we can even expect.
"According to Yury Zaitsev, at Space Daily, an asteroid has a speed of about 55,923 miles per hour on average." https://www.reference.com/science/fast-asteroids-move-14186bcb348d4eb4#
Quote:
How can we avoid a catastrophic comet?
There are several ways of trying to deflect an on-coming asteroid. The first is to try the “ Hollywood approach ” and simply blow it up!
However, in spite of the possibly spectacular visuals that could result from “nuking it”, the shattered asteroid could merely become a swarm of slightly smaller and still very destructive space rocks heading towards our planet.
Really, this would only be considered at a very, very last resort.
Another way would be to just give the asteroid a nudge, to change its path away from the Earth.
Knocking it with some sort of impact could do this. Or maybe an unmanned spacecraft with enough mass could be put in orbit about the asteroid to effectively change the “gravitational pull” and alter the trajectory that way.
Orbiting around and landing on a comet may seem like the stuff of Star Trek.
However this was actually achieved in 2014 by the European Space Agency’s Rosetta space craft which also sent a small lander called Philae down to the comet’s surface. However, Rosetta took a decade to get to its comet destination.
So if the the asteroid encounters needed to deflect a Earth directed impact are to be effective, the asteroid would need to be detected many years in advance and shoved or pulled many million of kilometers from Earth
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/technology-science/science/expert-says-meteor-could-wipe-6447901
-------------------- Favorite entheogen experiences in descending order: 1)Combo of oral DMT + smoked Bufotenine 2)Amanita (urine drank twice) 3)Mushrooms > Achuma 16"+cid(still need higher dose Achuma)> Cid (still need high dose) 4)Morning Glory-HBWR (+cumin, cinnamon aldehyde adducts) > Methyl chavicol (need more activators) 5)Salvia (need to try quid)
All readable matter in the above post is ficticious... any similarities to real life are purely coincidental. Blessing.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876121 - 11/28/16 07:04 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Why titanium?
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 16 hours, 16 minutes
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: psi]
#23876166 - 11/28/16 07:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
psi said: Why titanium?
Titanium is stronger than Iron and most asteroids are 80% iron
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876172 - 11/28/16 07:20 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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The solution is clear. We need to send in Bruce Willis and a crack team of astronauts to deal with the asteroid.
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PlantManBee
undifferentiated



Registered: 11/17/16
Posts: 360
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: 404]
#23876202 - 11/28/16 07:28 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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WAY more exciting than the more practical flicedbic suggestion. and BAMM!!! 50 posts!!!!!
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876215 - 11/28/16 07:33 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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The earths magnetic field will take care of it, there is no need.
I know the history books tell us that a big astroid made it through and killed all the dinosaurs like a gazillion years ago or wutever, but thats all bullshit.
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crackbaby
shitpost aficionado



Registered: 08/31/15
Posts: 12,994
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: zZZz] 2
#23876292 - 11/28/16 07:53 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers.
pffft...i think the asteroid is going to need way more than 2 beers to get the courage to attempt something like this.
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MrBlueYoMind
Don't do drugs (Without me)


Registered: 04/27/11
Posts: 3,753
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: crackbaby] 2
#23876298 - 11/28/16 07:54 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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How about you just limit the asteroid to 1 beer, or help it stop drinking completely.
-------------------- Confucius say: He who sticks drugs in butthole has head up ass. EVOLUTION REQUIRES REPRODUCTION
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,568
Loc: Utah
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal] 1
#23876346 - 11/28/16 08:07 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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A nuclear weapon would be much more effective. This is because of physics. Nuclear weapons put out the most energy per pound of virtually anything. The goal would be to alter the asteroid's course, not obliterate it, and nuclear weapons are the best choice for this due to insanely large amount of force they can apply relative to the cost of lifting them into space. If the human race was in danger and money was no object, we could easily lift several thousand nuclear weapons into space to alter the trajectory of even the largest asteroids.
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PlantManBee
undifferentiated



Registered: 11/17/16
Posts: 360
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: nooneman]
#23876402 - 11/28/16 08:22 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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lol, y'all just want to blow shit up. unless all the efficient firepower is needed, I'd personally advocate for sub-nuclear means. but none of us are going to be consulted i suspect.
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The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra



Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23876403 - 11/28/16 08:23 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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launching that much titanium would slow the earths orbit, slowly driving it into the sun
-------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: The Phleg]
#23876413 - 11/28/16 08:27 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Get this man another 2 beers. I have so many questions.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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PlantManBee
undifferentiated



Registered: 11/17/16
Posts: 360
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Enjoywho]
#23876431 - 11/28/16 08:33 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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hey i just smoked a joint and i figured out that there is no asteroid! Whew! that was close!
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SinSemilla
Stranger
Registered: 10/31/16
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: PlantManBee]
#23876573 - 11/28/16 09:22 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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So is there any huge asteroid heading to earth I find it fascinating it travels at 55K mph and we can see it's traveling towards earth and when it will hit it. It just won't come out of nowhere and hit us , we will see it coming for years
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wigglewak



Registered: 04/26/15
Posts: 1,961
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: SinSemilla] 1
#23876595 - 11/28/16 09:29 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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If the asteroid is drunk it may swerve and miss us completely.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: SinSemilla]
#23876842 - 11/28/16 11:31 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
SinSemilla said: So is there any huge asteroid heading to earth I find it fascinating it travels at 55K mph and we can see it's traveling towards earth and when it will hit it. It just won't come out of nowhere and hit us , we will see it coming for years 
I literally laughed :lolforreal:
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: spirit_shadow]
#23876868 - 11/28/16 11:38 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Couldn't we just blast a nuke or some bombs or something at it? I always thought that was what standard protocol would be if a large asteroid was headed this way.
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trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Crystal G]
#23876874 - 11/28/16 11:41 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I heard on NPR last night that they know about every single asteroid that might hit us. They can predict ones that might hit in 100 years or whenever. They can launch something heavy at it and knock it off course and change its direction. They pretty much have it all figured out from what i heard
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: trees]
#23876880 - 11/28/16 11:43 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
trees said: I heard on NPR last night that they know about every single asteroid that might hit us. They can predict ones that might hit in 100 years or whenever. They can launch something heavy at it and knock it off course and change its direction. They pretty much have it all figured out from what i heard
Yeah they say that, but that to be bullshit, I mean clearly nobody predicted or announced that big asteroid that hit Russia not too long ago.
People, man. They always act like they know everything.
Just wait until several thousand years from now, until the day they come across an asteroid the size of another planet headed straight for us. They're going to be scrambling to figure out what to do then.
Edited by Crystal G (11/28/16 11:48 PM)
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,898
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Crystal G]
#23876929 - 11/29/16 12:12 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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He heard it on the radio though, I think he knows what he's talking about..jeez.
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HamHead
Hard Ass Motherfucker



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Posts: 6,107
Loc: Galactic sector ZZ9 Plura...
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: 1234go] 2
#23876947 - 11/29/16 12:20 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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You could then have an engine on the back of said spike and fire up said engine and simply push it off course. No need to go making buckshot out of a slug by blowing it up. Then you have a bunch of smaller ones to worry about.
-------------------- The Italian researchers’ findings, published by the INT’s scientific magazine Tumori Journal, show 11.6% of 959 healthy volunteers enrolled in a lung cancer screening trial between September 2019 and March 2020 had developed coronavirus antibodies well before February. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-italy-timing-idUSKBN27V0KF This online first version has been peer-reviewed, accepted and edited, but not formatted and finalized with corrections from authors and proofreaders https://www.icandecide.org/
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: nooneman]
#23877101 - 11/29/16 02:33 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
nooneman said: A nuclear weapon would be much more effective. This is because of physics. Nuclear weapons put out the most energy per pound of virtually anything. The goal would be to alter the asteroid's course, not obliterate it, and nuclear weapons are the best choice for this due to insanely large amount of force they can apply relative to the cost of lifting them into space. If the human race was in danger and money was no object, we could easily lift several thousand nuclear weapons into space to alter the trajectory of even the largest asteroids.
Makes sense to me, a concentrated nuclear strike off to the side of the asteroid, if you can nudge it slightly millions of miles away it won't come near its destination (much like fucking up your bearings during land nav, a 5 degree error will change one's destination significantly over a mile).
Sounds a lot easier than trying to use something 1/100000th the mass of the asteroid and 1/10th its speed, to alter the asteroids path by orbiting it.
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Great Scott
Trigger Lover


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Posts: 19,797
Loc: Control Grid
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23877104 - 11/29/16 02:37 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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You can just blast asteroids with lasers.
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Magicman69
All About the Benjamins


Registered: 05/29/13
Posts: 6,876
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Crystal G]
#23877108 - 11/29/16 02:42 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: Couldn't we just blast a nuke or some bombs or something at it? I always thought that was what standard protocol would be if a large asteroid was headed this way.
Depends how big it is. If it's huge our Nuke's wouldn't do much with surface impacts. Damn, haven't you seen Deep Impact or Armageddon?
Seriously though we know 12,000 years ago there was a huge impact that killed almost all the mammals on Earth, including the mammoth. Then we had Tunguska just a 100 years ago I believe which was tiny in comparison. Had that small comet hit over a populated area millions would have been killed instantly. It's going to happen 100%, I just hope I'm dead by then
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 4 hours, 45 minutes
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Repertoire89]
#23877110 - 11/29/16 02:45 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said:
Quote:
nooneman said: A nuclear weapon would be much more effective. This is because of physics. Nuclear weapons put out the most energy per pound of virtually anything. The goal would be to alter the asteroid's course, not obliterate it, and nuclear weapons are the best choice for this due to insanely large amount of force they can apply relative to the cost of lifting them into space. If the human race was in danger and money was no object, we could easily lift several thousand nuclear weapons into space to alter the trajectory of even the largest asteroids.
Makes sense to me, a concentrated nuclear strike off to the side of the asteroid, if you can nudge it slightly millions of miles away it won't come near its destination (much like fucking up your bearings during land nav, a 5 degree error will change one's destination significantly over a mile).
Sounds a lot easier than trying to use something 1/100000th the mass of the asteroid and 1/10th its speed, to alter the asteroids path by orbiting it.
Doesn't make sense. Nuclear weapons detonated in space don't exert much force at all. Force is mass* acceleration and one thing nukes don't have is much mass. All that energy is pretty useless if you don't have any mass to exert a force on an object. Really the only way a nuke can exert a force upon an asteroid is to ablate the surface of the asteroid (vaporizing the material) and the energy release is so quick for a nuke that there wouldn't be much time to heat the surface.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: koods]
#23877117 - 11/29/16 02:49 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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That's interesting
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 4 hours, 45 minutes
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Repertoire89]
#23877121 - 11/29/16 02:53 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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They detonated two nuclear weapons underground in Mississippi. Mississippi is still there. Nukes aren't actually very good at blowing stuff up without an atmosphere to rapidly expand from heating.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: trees]
#23877179 - 11/29/16 03:35 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
trees said: I heard on NPR last night that they know about every single asteroid that might hit us. They can predict ones that might hit in 100 years or whenever. They can launch something heavy at it and knock it off course and change its direction. They pretty much have it all figured out from what i heard
There was one a couple years ago that came between the earth and the moon and they didn't even see it until after it had passed.
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Crazy_Horse
I’m Rick James, bitch!


Registered: 08/15/16
Posts: 13,284
Loc: Hampsterdam
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal]
#23877421 - 11/29/16 07:28 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
psi said: Why titanium?
Titanium is stronger than Iron and most asteroids are 80% iron
Spider webs are strong. Build it out of spider webs.
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trendal
J♠



Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: moonrockmushy]
#23877423 - 11/29/16 07:29 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
moonrockmushy said:
Quote:
trees said: I heard on NPR last night that they know about every single asteroid that might hit us. They can predict ones that might hit in 100 years or whenever. They can launch something heavy at it and knock it off course and change its direction. They pretty much have it all figured out from what i heard
There was one a couple years ago that came between the earth and the moon and they didn't even see it until after it had passed.
Yeah, thinking that we can spot all incoming asteroids is completely foolhardy. Just ask the people in Russia how good we are at spotting them
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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trendal
J♠



Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: Patlal] 1
#23877427 - 11/29/16 07:32 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
psi said: Why titanium?
Titanium is stronger than Iron and most asteroids are 80% iron
It isn't the strength of the material you use...the mass is the really important part!!! Thinking that we can just blow up a chuck of rock the size of Manhattan is dead wrong.
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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PatrickKn


Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,564
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: trendal]
#23877454 - 11/29/16 07:58 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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That's a lot of titanium, cheaper to let it hit the earth and destroy life as we know it.
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howsyournaggerdoin
Happy


Registered: 02/04/16
Posts: 1,600
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: PatrickKn]
#23877462 - 11/29/16 08:01 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thats what id opt for anyway.
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PlantManBee
undifferentiated



Registered: 11/17/16
Posts: 360
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: howsyournaggerdoin]
#23877493 - 11/29/16 08:19 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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according to star wars we got this
y'all either need to agree to use critical thinking or just scrap that idea altogether.
This reminds me of the perennial fights we had as kids in the 60's and 70's. "No way! you CAN't kill Frankenstein's monster, but you can kill the wolfman and Dracula!" "Fuck you man, the wolfman would kick his ass!"
Never mind, continue. I vote we don't nuke it. ffs
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: PlantManBee]
#23877508 - 11/29/16 08:27 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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We need to just envelop the planet in a laser grid that vaporizes everything that passes through it.
/thread
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mushiefeet
Soggy Sock's Rainy Day's



Registered: 01/18/11
Posts: 558
Loc: Washington State
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Re: I just realized how to prevent an asteroid from destroying the Earth after 2 beers. [Re: larry.fisherman]
#23877518 - 11/29/16 08:33 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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You know intelligent people are way way along the works for this lol, have been for years you can keep calm or just understand, whatever you do wont change the outcome.
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