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First nervous breakdown on Monday.. still shaken and worried..
    #14513945 -

Things are starting to look up, and in general I at least think the situation is getting better. It's sort of a long, complicated story so I'll cliff note it.

- I am very poor and live in sort of a lower class area for the most part.
- No jobs around here aside from minimum wage & most friends can't find anything better even with any kind of college degree. Their college degrees don't even help in pretty significant radius and across other states.
- By chance found a career path that I'm passionate about & love.
- Saved up enough money to go to the required school.
- By a huge stroke of luck found a professional near by to take me under his wing for the apprenticeship (the apprenticeship period is required and essential) and mentioned that he was old and would like to hand over the business soon.
- Was looking around for a few weeks and couldn't find any other professionals that had room for an/ another apprentice within ~100 miles and this one is 5 miles away.
- Things were going gravy for a couple of weeks.

Then

- As part of my learning period, I go out on jobs with regular hired hands (i.e. not professionals) and help them do some labor stuff. Actually a ton of very demanding labor.
- Two older middle aged dweebs were acting like your average middle aged dweebs and being bossy etc. etc..
- I listened to them anyway and the rest of the workers think I do a great job.
- Apparently the old men kept telling the main person I was working with any and all kinds of complaints. Most of these were VERY minor things they could have just easily told me directly, and most of them were flat out untrue/impossible/taken out context. All contributed to planting a growing bad image of me simply because he kept hearing crap about me.

Then

- I hear that he's getting sick of the complaints and considering letting me go. Losing this opportunity will blow & it might destroy my reputation amongst other professionals.
- I have a HUGE nervous breakdown for the first time ever and cry really loud for hours & rush over to my friend's who are shocked to see me that way.
- The next day goes a little better and I confront the worker to tell him a lot, about how he can tell me his petty complaints and I won't get mad. No reason to believe anyone would anyway since they were so minor.
- I talk to the professional and things likely are better but he gives no indication that I'm off the "hook".

It all blows so much. Everything was going so well and it seems like a lot of nonsense came really close to destroying it. I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells now. The day of the nervous breakdown, my self-esteem was destroyed and I felt so pathetic for weeping & most of all losing out on everything (even though I didn't) so rapidly. I'll really know a lot more about how things are going this weekend but for the last few days I've still felt pretty scared.

My friends sort of help but they don't really understand why I was so devastated and ready to die (never will suicide). That night I really thought my body was just going to shut down on its own.

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Re: First nervous breakdown on Monday.. still shaken and worried.. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14514008 -

you need to be straight up with your boss.  let him know you're passionate about teh work, that you have zero other opportunities with no ability to move or change career paths, and that the complaints are unwarranted and unnecessary. 

remember, your job is to continuously indirectly remind him of the value you provide to his organization.  wouldn't he have to be on all those job calls if u werent there?  things like that.  be subtle - you cant let the master know he's being puppetted

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Re: First nervous breakdown on Monday.. still shaken and worried.. [Re: memes]
    #14514229 -

Yeah I know. I've sort of done that but right now circumstance has been a real bitch. Things like time, distractions, have to get off the phone/go on a call, etc.. has made it hard to have a thorough discussion yet which I hope to have this weekend if not tomorrow. Adding to that, I'm also kind of afraid that his trust in me is too damaged even though nothing bad has even happened! The best thing to do would be sit down with both the sponsor and other worker but so far the other worker has kept saying this shit behind my back so who knows.

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Re: First nervous breakdown on Monday.. still shaken and worried.. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14514284 -

Anonymous said:
The best thing to do would be sit down with both the sponsor and other worker but so far the other worker has kept saying this shit behind my back so who knows.


So walk up to your boss, and say:

"Boss, I truly think the best thing we should do right now before any decisive action is taken is for me, XYZ, and you to sit down and have a discussion about why this isn't working optimally.  I have a real desire to be here and a true pasison for the work.  I beg you for this meeting, I think it is the most raitonal course.  Perhaps nothing will come from it - but it might just fix everything" and then add a :shug:

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