okay, so I liked this chick back in high school. just a crush. yeah, pretty normal shit here.
not really based on anything but looks i guess. not really something that isnt normal shit either.
what is abnormal is that we are coming up on our ten year reunion, and while the course of events was normal back then, i am sure getting a heavy dose of the crazy now.
We hung out a few times after I turned 21 and what not, she wasnt around as much as others for whatever reasons. Ended up sort of befriending her older brother, she wasnt even around, we just met and things where cool, he knows her friends. didnt really let on about the crush. hes a cool guy.
She hit me up on facebook. her behavior is confusing but not really like a mean person. Also really not attracted to her looks anymore, I don't know if she understands that but then again i havent gone out of my way to say that, why shit on a persons feelings, ya know?
why indeed... I think the problem with when she calls is that she is COMPLETELY fronting on how much she actually knows about me. The drinking really doesnt help either. After a while its just basically me being offhandedly insulted. I should mention she lives in North Carolina right now with her boyfriend. i dont mind hearing whats up, whats new, what she did today, but most of this crap is just craziness.
First time she called me a "mamas boy" was in person, in a bar. it seemed weird, I mean who says that? She acknowledged receiving some card and a flower I had my mom drop off. Problem is she didnt acknowledge it at the time. Big whoop, a flower and a card, not abnormal in the least. I was a teenage boy she was a teenage girl. big whoop.
I sort of assumed she didnt get it, or didnt really take offense about it, just rather confusing actually. oh well, it just is what it is.
I asked her to Junior promenade, partly because for the last half of junior year and first part of senior year she went to a different school.
It was a pretty easy call actually, basically said she wasnt going to our prom. chatted a bit. just another normal high school, regular real life type shit. she now dwells on this.
I am sure people have different perceptions about who i am, or how i am socially, but for someone who i wasnt real close to at all, she seems to have me all figured out in her mind.
too bad its so far from logical and in some cases very opposite. other times its that she reminds me of stuff that i never knew about in the first place. Thats not so bad really, but she also says things about me and more strangely my mother (whom she doesnt know, so it sort of seems like she is confusing me with someone else. i even told her that. it doesnt get through)
it started to piss me off when she started talking about my mother. not because i am actually a mamas boy, but because in reality i dont even get along with my mother as well as most people, let alone am I a "mamas boy."
Then its like she is trying to coach me socially. at least this makes a little more sense. i told her I just take people as they are, I dont get so wrapped up in social stuff, i dont overthink it. I am not this "closeted person", I am more complex than that and that should be obvious by now. I think she sort of gets that, but even if I was, why does it matter?
i cant understand why I can be two opposite things in one phone call. I can understand that a lot of the stuff she says is because she is drunk, and not to take it to heart. on the other hand so much stuff doesnt make sense, and she needs to calm her mind down.
more importantly, i dont want to hear crazy and/or insulting crap like the following:
"I dont get it, i mean now its like i can tell you are one of the few people i can call anytime, but you where an asshole back in high school"
while also being
"you where like the nicest guy" okay, um, its high school. i certainly cant keep explaining that all of our experiences are just normal everyday highschool in america shit.
"but I was always your friend" (heard this again and again and again, it isnt like I even argue this fact, or put her down or tell her she was a snob, i mean, who is arguing with you woman???)
"you cant let people manipulate you" Huh? like who? what the hell are you talking about?
These conversations are generally rather normal and then segway into the weirdness here and there. one of the weird things is she also clearly is hung up on the fact that a few of her friends got "knocked up" and that they allegedly give her a hard time about having been a stripper. whether its true or not, i mean, I hope for her sake she isnt saying it LIKE THAT. these are twenty something women. this shit is normal. i dont know why you need to justify to me of all people why you may be having some drama with other chicks. thats the other thing, some of the stuff she says its like she doesnt realize she is talking to a dude.
more than anything she hasnt figured out how to relate to me, and the impression she gives is that this is somehow my fault.
this is just the tip of the iceberg on all of this.
i certainly dont even find her attractive anymore, i mean her looks went to shit, or at least to be fair arent what they where. we are just friends. I mean take shit for what it is dammit, i would rather hear about your day than your drama. stop having preconcieved notions and just talk to me normally.
I think the lyrics to this song explain exactly how i feel about this situation
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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.
Remember to always courtesy flush
 we could all use a little more sunshine.
yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting. not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin. i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo. -tiny_rabid_birds
Edited by Cannabischarlie (06/15/10 02:27 AM)
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