Arden said:

What would be the effect of walking into a crowded bar full of makeup, cologne, and whiskey breath, and busting out a calm, full lotus position right on the dance floor?

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I don't do bars

I usually just sit on the couch or meander around pondering the world's
workings and get depressed about it then I just say "fuck it", sit back,
and take another gulp

And all is well in Whoville
ET Jesus be with you

Cyph3r said:

A sorostitute would probably trip over you and her asshole boyfriend would get pissed and start making primate dominance gestures.  Pretty soon your meditative attempt at reaching Nirvana would unleash a bar brawl of epic proportions and you'd have to flee the cops while attempting to maintain serene tranquility.

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Or they'd billy club your skull open and it'd be like when they opened the Ark of the
Covenant in Raiders and completely annihilate everyone's empty vessels

Probably gonna have to wait for 2012 for that one, though

Quote:

A sorostitute would probably trip over you and her asshole boyfriend would get pissed and start making primate dominance gestures.  Pretty soon your meditative attempt at reaching Nirvana would unleash a bar brawl of epic proportions and you'd have to flee the cops while attempting to maintain serene tranquility.

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I want to collect journal submissions from epic meditation attempts and call it Guerrilla Dharma. It'll become a new culture jamming method where half naked hippies go meditate in banks, court houses, and post offices. Maybe even black neighborhoods, who knows.

Cyph3r said:

A nice euphemism for drinking alone is meditational intoxication.

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And into my lexicon it goes!
I liked that a lot

JackofSpades said:

yeah i would rather do that but i get lonely.

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cypher, i read between the lines

and it seems we face much the same battle
without drugs, life is just...it definitely feels like something missing, even after months. i agree in the sense that i don't know if the brain is still adjusting, or if that's what being sober just feels like. it's possibly just not being high anymore after being so used to the lifestyle. possibly a taste of euphoria most people never experience. i truly do not know.

i also fill the void with alcohol, and i love the stuff as yes, it's a cheap, (usually) euphoric downer that absolves my worries and allows me to better socialize without worrying about neurotic stuff that other people probably aren't even usually thinking about. i absolutely hate the side effects, namely the hangover and also just what it slowly does to the body over time. i try to drink moderately (2-3 drinks, several nights a week,) and I usually succeed. that's still more than i'd like to be drinking, really, but also much less than i'd be drinking if i just let loose. i have bad social anxiety, so you can imagine how nice alcohol feels for me socially.

yet life on drugs, even alcohol, can feel so meaningless... for me, regular usage of most drugs can and does take away natural good feelings from everyday life and small events or conversations i have while sober.
on the other hand, one can look at life on drugs/alcohol as straight, direct, meaningless euphoria in an equally meaningless world of chaos and suffering.
if you see the world as meaningless (which i do not, but i used to do so,) the meaningless euphoria is wonderful, truly wonderful, and who is to say there is anything wrong with simply drinking or nodding out your entire life? i wouldn't personally prefer it, as i have an extremely strong desire to experience new things, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it. it can be of great relief physically and mentally, more so than just about anything else as far as masking symptoms. the problem that most people encounter is richard nixon, tolerance, and withdrawal, but the top reason i quit was longing for more unique experiences in my life. i was either high or low, and thus that was about all i cared about. yet in quitting, there is always that void that i fill with alcohol. some people say the void goes away, yet then you see others having problems 5, 10, 15 years down the road.

i don't get it either, man, and i don't know what the solution is. the world is very bizarre at times, that's for sure. i feel like we're living in the Dark Ages on a futuristic space station.

so how much of a fuck is there to give in such a situation? the more i care, the more vulnerable i become and i usually end up hurting more inside.
if i absolutely do not give a shit whatsoever, well, things just become more and more meaningless.

drugs, alcohol, serve as an excellent buffer, yet that's the problem, i feel it is building "a wall" around yourself for protection
it feels safe and warm at first, yet then, lonely and cold.

Cyph3r said:

A nice euphemism for drinking alone is meditational intoxication.  A bottle of Jack keeps me company on cold nights. 

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indeed. i have spent many a night with Ms. Franzia. a girl i know recently developed a relationship with "Mr. Newcastle." alcohol's weird, man.

i find it interesting you brought up the oft-overlooked "spirits" aspect of alcohol. that's basically how i see liquor as well, having an attitude of its' own almost and going around causing all sorts of mischief, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

you know, cypher, about inebriated vs. sober life,

the best thing i have found personally, and this will seem so blatantly obvious, yet think it through : moderation.

i like to drink enough so that i feel comfortable in the moment, but not so much that i miss the moment.

of course, with every shot, it gets harder to moderate. set your limit beforehand. also, i'd suggest you stop drinking liquor - of course, this is totally your life man - do what helps ya the most.

cypher, i wish you the best. you've always reminded me a bit of myself. i wish i had better advice, but really, it may help in its' own to realize that you are definitely not alone in this thing. that is not to make excuses to keep drinking, but just know, i feel a lot of us have been there before and understand.

take care and be kind to yourself

_aqua

AquaKet said:

the problem that most people encounter is richard nixon, tolerance, and withdrawal

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Great post man.  I too find that alcohol greatly helps with social anxiety (it's not known as liquid courage/panty remover for no reason, hehe), but it's still massively detrimental to my health.

Why do you no longer feel that life is meaningless?

Cyph3r said:

AquaKet said:

the problem that most people encounter is richard nixon, tolerance, and withdrawal

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Great post man.  I too find that alcohol greatly helps with social anxiety (it's not known as liquid courage/panty remover for no reason, hehe), but it's still massively detrimental to my health.

Why do you no longer feel that life is meaningless?

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Good question. A large part of it was to stop analyzing life so much and to start living it, being it, and having the meaning present itself... it's a feeling rather than a set belief system. Much of it came from and and an equal or probably greater amount was from getting off the addictive drugs.

I believe that if there is some sort of "higher meaning," which I believe there very well may be, I do not think that the human brain is capable of understanding it (I base these beliefs on heavy sessions.) Thus, I don't worry about a "higher meaning" in my personal life, and as a human, I strive to be happy and to share happiness with others, generally based on compassion for myself and others. Love isn't in short supply, and the best way I find to bring peace to myself is to bring it to others. On drugs, there would be moments of feeling complete fulfillment, "I wish I could feel this way forever." I am starting to have a lot more of those moments while sober, something that hasn't happened in years, literally.

When I was all strung out on drugs, and before my recent , I had this crazy (totally seemingly rational at the time) concept of "the world" being some sort of hostile "out to get me" sorta mindfuck almost entity where I'd wonder things like "who the fuck created this place," "the fuck is this shit," "is there some sort of fucking point im supposed to be getting that im not??" Then, basically asked me who the fuck I kept referring to as this whole "world" business "making me suffer" and instantly negated such absurd thoughts from my mind. If anybody was going to be taking responsibility, well, it's me. It is now a bit hard to bitch about "the universe" as some malevolent being while knowing that I have absolutely no idea what I'm even talking about. I'm the only operator that I know of and thus, I operate. I used to be a "reactive" type person to the world, kind of like well, throw me what you got, I'll make the best of it. Now I try to think ahead, plan, and create a life of personal meaning and fulfillment (with things like music, reading, nature, people - things that truly do inspire me but I lost interest in on drugs.) One could argue that creating personal meaning is equally meaningless on the "grand scale of things," and I'd say that is probably equally as likely and correct as just about anything else. In any case, I still want to be happy until I die, and simply put I have found more ways to be happy without drugs. I don't mean to sound so heavily anti-drug, it's just personally I allowed myself to abuse them for many years and it caused a lot of problems in my life.

cypher, I feel for ya, I truly do.

I hope you find something that resonates strongly with you as well, and provides you with a sense of meaning and peace.