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Finding like-minded roomates
    #12495705 -

I am looking to move soon and while California (the Bay Area) is one of the most liberal places I've ever lived, it seems like every roomate I find is the opposite of what I'm looking for.  Even the "420-friendly's". 

Has anyone had experience trying to find roomates that were on your level, and what was your key to success?

I want to post an ad on craigslist and say I'm looking for burners (people who religiously attend the Burning Man festival) but I've never even been to one so I feel kind of lame saying that.  Not sure I want to start out with labels either.  But I don't know what else to do.

Halp


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The answer to 1984 is 1776.

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: kake]
    #12495819 -

All the stoners whom you've met up with weren't stoned enough?

Is that what you are saying?

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: kake]
    #12496650 -

Who cares dude...if you're in college or something just find people who are reasonably respectful and get it over with. If you don't have an end in sight live by yourself until you find some cool people.

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: fazdazzle]
    #12496666 -

I'm not in college.  And I'm saying that in California, everyone smokes weed.  It's not just the the more open-minded people.


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The answer to 1984 is 1776.

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: kake]
    #12496883 -

Look in the "shared accomodation" section of craigslist and respond and interview at households that spike your interest.

Do the same if there are posted ad's in the area you are looking.


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GO OUTSIDE.

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: kake]
    #12496926 -

kake said:
I'm not in college.  And I'm saying that in California, everyone smokes weed.  It's not just the the more open-minded people.


How open-minded are we talking about?

Like UFO convention open-minded or like having sex with men open-minded?

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: kake]
    #12498220 -

In the last 6 years I've lived in 6 different places, each time with a different roommate or roommates. The only time it ever worked out (in terms of enjoying my roommate's company rather than totally resenting him/her) was when I moved in with someone who was already a close friend.

If your definition of like-minded is too narrow (as mine tends to be), then you're extremely unlikely to find what you're looking for by living with someone who you've never met.

My advice would be to simply seek a roommate who's behaviors you can tolerate, and who can tolerate your behaviors. If someone is clean, respectful, and cool with you smoking, then he or she is an excellent roommate in my opinion, regardless of whether or not you two can "connect." Save your strict standards of like-mindedness for relationships that actually matter (i.e., friendships). Once you make friends in your new area, move in with one of them.


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Edited by NickSoapdish (05/04/10 12:59 PM)

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: NickSoapdish]
    #12501080 -

NickSoapdish said:
In the last 6 years I've lived in 6 different places, each time with a different roommate or roommates. The only time it ever worked out (in terms of enjoying my roommate's company rather than totally resenting him/her) was when I moved in with someone who was already a close friend.



I am the opposite - i've lived in a similar numbers of places, and generally prefer moving in with a group of strangers bound by some sort of vague similarity.

I do enjoy living with friends too though - and am starting a place with 2 friends in July.

However, i've lost friends because of tensions built when living together. On the other hand - i've made friends, by living with strangers.


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GO OUTSIDE.

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: kake]
    #12504268 -

Is this going to be a long-term arrangement?  Years?

Regardless of who you end up with, you will probably learn a lot about yourself and people in general.  If you just go into it with an open mind you will probably be fine living with just about anyone.

I think most people who are looking for shared living situations probably think of it as a temporary arrangement until they can get their own place, get married, etc etc..  If you're trying to find people who you are assuming will be just like you and will not judge you, I wouldn't worry about that.  Everyone is different.  Even everyone who grew up in my family has different habits and personalities.  Just find yourself an ad on craigslist that says "420 friendly" or artists etc..

There's nobody in the world who is going to share your outlook 100%.


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I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: PowerTrip]
    #12504787 -

Thanks for the responses. 

Nick had a really good point.  I have been living with two people for over two years and our shared tolerance towards each others' behaviors is what has kept me here (along with cheap rent).

However, I guess I am looking for shared communal values in roomates.  I don't need to see eye to eye on everything; but I would like roomates that know how to recycle for example, that care about some of the same things I do.  To see newspapers thrown in the trash is actually kind of offensive to me.  Not because it has a huge environmental impact--I do fully consider this--but because it boils down to the fact that right next to the garbage bin is a recycle bin.  Is asking your roomate to think about their actions too much?  I would certainly hope not. 

It follows that if they don't put any thought toward their behaviors then they certainly aren't considering their actions' effects on others.  This goes way beyond recycling.  And as a case in point, when I moved in I told my roomates I had two and only two rules for living with me:  don't eat my food, and don't keep me awake at night, and both rules are broken on a regular basis.  This is because of that exact reason:  the failure to be conscious of one's actions.  They forget or just don't want to consider that their noise might keep me awake;  that's either ignorance or selfishness.

Anyway, I've had way worse roomates and have way more good things to say about these people than bad.  But I still feel like seeing ignorance on a day to day basis is actually bad for my mental health, no matter how innocent.


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The answer to 1984 is 1776.

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: kake]
    #12506109 -

You sound like my former lesbian vegan granola girl roommate.

She once bitched at me because I bought Shampoo made with honey. Apparently I was killing the bees and destroying the planet because of my shampoo purchase.

I like roommates who drink a lot of beer and like to drink more beer in the hot tub with girls who are also drinking beer. Beer builds community, friendship, and unprotected sex in a household.

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: appleorange]
    #12512429 -

Except I'm not.


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The answer to 1984 is 1776.

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Re: Finding like-minded roomates [Re: kake]
    #12512451 -

I hope you're not her.

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