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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Help.
    #11243313 -

I am terrified that I will never like my body. I used to weigh over 300 lbs (325 was my recorded peak). I'm now down to 208 lbs, and losing on average a pound every day or two. I still can't see the difference though. Over 115 lbs and I can't see a damn difference. People tell me I look amazing compared to how I used to look. The thing is... the comparison. I want to look amazing.

I hate that I was always the "ugly" one, the "fat" one. I remember when I was 12, I found a slambook in my high school, and one of the questions was "Who is the ugliest person in our school?" And I got the pleasure of seeing my name listed numerous times. It crushed me. Its seared into my fucking mind.

I know I've made progress, but I am so terrified that I'm going to continue never seeing it. My housemate showed me a picture from before I started to lose weight, and had me look in a mirror with it. I can't see a fucking difference. It makes me wonder if this is how anorexics get this way. Am I doomed to keep trying to lose weight well beyond what my body wants? Am I going to destroy myself with exercise that's really just mental masturbation?

I'm just scared. I'm really scared.

Just for once I want someone to look at me like I'm sexy. Hell, even cute. Will I keep going if that never comes?

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11243405 -

think about how far you've come already. instead of lossing 150 pounds or so you only have 50-60 more to loss to be at a normal weight (depending on your height but im talking averages)




My housemate showed me a picture from before I started to lose weight, and had me look in a mirror with it. I can't see a fucking difference. It makes me wonder if this is how anorexics get this way. Am I doomed to keep trying to lose weight well beyond what my body wants? Am I going to destroy myself with exercise that's really just mental masturbation?


If your completely honest you probably do see a difference but it's not good enough in your mind so you dont see anything positive in it.
Dont worry about becoming anorexic at this point obessing over food is not natural but it's not uncommon and there are people and support groups out there that target a wide range of food related/ exercise related issues.

maybe make a list of all the things your looking foward to now that your in your last stretch. Staying postive is the key to accomplishing anything you pu your mind too.

hope something i said might have helped a little.

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11243413 -

:lol::hi5:

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11244414 -

I have a step-father right now that used to weigh well over 300 himself (he's now down around a respectable 180) but the thing is - he also has a whole lot of loose/flabby skin hanging all over his body now because of it



and that shit NEVER tightens back up either  :smirk:

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #11244556 -

Anonymous #4 said:
and that shit NEVER tightens back up either  :smirk:


dick move

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #11244642 -

i've never been disgusted by the :smirk: icon but in this case i want to slap it right off your face

asshole
:thumbdown:

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #11244781 -

You need a mantra, mantras are fucking great things as they are the access to a bug in our brains programming.

You see, we can convince ourselves of anything if we keep repeating it over and over. So everyday, like everytime you pass a mirror, stop and say soemthing like "I am beautiful, I have great eyes, I have a straight nose, My hair is fantastic, I dress impeccably and I have awesome taste in shoes" out loud to yourself.

Once you begin to really believe this then theres a chance someone else may believe it to.

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11244819 -

First of all, your situation is totally correctable. 

You can turn it all around. 

Look into the book: 80/10/10 by Doug Graham 
That's my advice
My life has never been the same.

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11245031 -

i was close to 300 at one point now im probably about 260, i'd kill to be at 208, youre doing fine man. dont worry about what you look like, youre only gonna start looking better.

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #11245156 -

Don't listen to #4, this happens only past a certain age when your skin has lost its elasticity. So, don't wait, otherwise you will have flabby skin if you loose that fat when you're older.

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #11246023 -

Yoga tightens skin.

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11246128 -

I have a skin condition which makes my face look rugged to say the least.  Some people have a difficult time looking me in the eyes.  I used to wish I could have been fat instead so I could have at least had an opportunity to do something about it.  Eventually I figured out there was nothing I could do and it just is what it is.  Sometimes it's a burden, I don't have the luxury of being able to be absolved in my own vanity like others.  But that's only one side of the coin, The flip side is that it's granted me perspective and character that I wouldn't trade for anything.

Last thing you want to do is let your ugliness permeate your inside, so you become thoroughly ugly inside and out.  If you focus on the lessons that a physical flaw can teach, you can benefit greatly and maintain a genuinely happy demeanor that people will want to be around.

Strive towards your goal of becoming thin.  Just be sure to give yourself other motivation aside from vanity, like health.  If health is your motivation, you will know when you've reached the right weight limit.

Also, absorb Anonymous #4's words.  There is a poignant lesson buried in there that you need to learn in order to move on and be happy.

good luck.

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11246452 -

Wow that's a rough ride OP.

You'll be just fine, just keep that mental image of who you want to become in your mind and DO NOT LET GO.

How is your skin?

Just keep working hard.  Consistent.  And build some muscle.

I don't have your experience but I understand some of the psychology behind body image.

I used to be skinny now I am fucking buffed and I still see myself as not being "muscular enough" even though I look like a bodybuilder.

What you might want to try and do is party on MDMA so you actually see yourself as you technically are/can appear to people.  I rip my shirt off at crazy parties and girls suck on my nipples its crazy.  On any regular day I think to myself like "wow I'm skinny and not worthy of praise wtf"  Yet everyone thinks im on steroids and dudes be playa hatin'

*for the record*

It takes years to build the body you want. You will eventually have it.  Just keep training for it and you shall receive.

Edited by Anonymous (10/14/09 02:35 PM)

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11360457 -

post a pic fatty.

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11360467 -

Dude I would kill to weigh 200 pounds, currently 145.

Start running and powerlifting you could be a beast.

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #11360471 -

Overly buff guys are gross...

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Re: Help. [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #11360480 -

AH but I dont think this guy is overly buff.

I bet he doesnt work out seriously and if he started to run and powerlift he could probably cut down 20 pounds and be strong as fuck.

Maybe I'm wrong though.

Oh and BTW who cares if overly buff guys r gross, they can fuck other dudes up so easy that certain chicks will be all over them.

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Community > Shroomerites Anonymous
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