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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #10633851 -

Prisoner#1 said:
he
drinks to make himself feel better, dont you see the problem
there?

"I feel bad about myself so I'll get drunk and do stupid
shit so I'll feel bad about myself so I'll get drunk and do
stupid shit so I'll feel bad about myself..."



Yeah just stop that vicious circle^

confronting yourself with what you did and what makes you feel so bad that you need to lessen your consciousness of the world.

it's a downward spiral otherwise.


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◄►۞◄►

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Hiei]
    #10633901 -

I'm betting that cop totally knew you were drunk.


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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10634403 -

Drunken_Jester said:
Everything everyone's said is true. As far as professional help, AA hasn't been successful in the past. What's worked is that desire and help of fam which I have. I've kicked meth before and I'm not physically addicted to alcohol so I'm determined to just grow the fuck up and take control of myself. I'm sorry if the original posts sounds like I'm only thankful for myself or self centered...like I said I'm very grateful I didn't hurt anybody including myself!

And hopefully any member/lurker who is up to the same things can really just step back and rethink things. I want to learn without having to go to jail or forced AA classes. It's been something I've been putting in the back burner but now I can't ignore it.


I am bothered by the fact that you think AA wasn't successful.  There is not some magic wand that they wave over you in AA that can save you.  Just because you tried their program and relapsed does not mean it cannot work for you now.  It is also not AA's fault that you relapsed.  The fact of the matter is that 12 step programs have given hundreds of thousands of people the opportunity to live sober.  I'm not telling you that you need to even be in the program.  You have to make that decision for yourself.

The 12 steps are in order for a reason.  Right now, if you decided to follow that type of program, you would focus on your desire to stay clean.  You have already done what would be expected of you as a first step, because you have admitted that your life has become unmanageable.  Yeah, you fucked up people's shit this past weekend.  If you are at all like me, then you have long track record of fucking up people's shit.  Now is not the time to dwell on that.  In fact, you are not expected to make amends until the ninth step.

You would never be able to right your wrongs until you make some major changes in your life.  No one wants to hear you say that you are sorry.  They've heard it all before.  You don't need to make a change for your family.  You have to do it for yourself.


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If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #10635933 -

filthee said:
do you think they have a faint idea it was you anyway?



Well here's a little more back story that I didn't think would be important but my mom probably has that intuition that I did it but she's not overly pissed cause it's not a big dent...actually not even a dent at all. When my sister was driving it she also swiped a couple of cars and there was already minor indentations. The one I did was more of two patches of small paint scraped off and small dent on the fender of the front wheel of the passenger side.

My mom isn't all cool with the fucked up shit I do but she does let me know every time she suspects I'm drinking that my stepdad would kick me the fuck out and she wont have a problem with it. That's why she went and picked it up after I told her I wasn't coming home, cause she knew my stepdad would start asking questions and tripping.

She's already starting to give me that mother treatment like she kind of knows it's me and doesn't want to make a big deal since it isn't a crash but wants me to stop. We're already going to the gym and stuff.

Prisoner#1 said:
we said professional help, not a bunch of fucking drunks swapping
sob stories, if family has helped in the past then why are you
still continuing to do this shit to them


Well I don't have insurance man, but I have a great support system and a lot of hobbies to keep the booze out. To tell you the truth I've never not wanted booze like this in a loooooong time. I was supposed to do a 3 month chemical dependency program in Oakland through Kaiser but I got fired before I could do it. I just slipped into that habit of drinking by myself at night and thinking it was okay as long as nobody found out about it. But during the last 3 months it's progressed and I've been slacking off and just being hungover all the time and then Saturday is just everything I'm working not to be.

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10636130 -

Drunken_Jester said:
RoosterCogburn said:
Did you go back and pay for the parked car you hit?

Or, I guess that poor guy has to call his insurance and get raped because of you... and I guess Mom gets stuck with her car repair bill?

Do you take responsibility for anything, or are you just another useless drunk?


What do you think dude? No. And yes that is very selfish but I've been on a bad road of being a selfish person drunk or not. I am a useless drunk and this is something I've been fighting internally against. Usually I just drink myself at night to sleep without hurting anyone and I justify my abuse of alcohol. It's sad but it usually takes something like this to bitch slap some sense in to me.

Believe it or not (and don't care if you do) I fucking torture myself everyday internally for all the negative shit I've done. Which is part of the reason I drink a lot, to go to sleep and make it ok to live with myself. But fuck it, you're right I need to grow some balls and just live with it instead of hide like a pussy.


Not exactly the right attitude to take,

I've never been in your position so I can't give a lot of advice, but I struggle with a lot of internal anxiety problems as well, and what you need to try and do is just take a break from everything, I also recommend getting a pad of paper to just write your thoughts/feelings down, and throw them away, and those negative thoughts are out of your head, at least it works for me anyway.

Good luck.


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koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.
Life-long trip report

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: pfxtc]
    #10636234 -

I would try and find out who's car I fucked up and make it right. 


My sister has been driving my escalade.  On sat. night I passed her on the way to my house driving it around drunk with her 2 year old in the front.  As soon as I passed her on the road, she ran out of gas.  I flipped out on her and now she walks.  I was pissed about her driving drunk in my car, but when I found out my nephew was with her I lost it.

Stupid drunks.

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: doyoutrip]
    #10636263 -

Fuck pigs, I don't mean to be a straight asshole, but that cop shoulda booked your ass.  So fucking reckless.

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Cowgold]
    #10636300 -

Ok for those suggesting I somehow find the guy and write a note or fix the car...wish I could, when I swiped the car it was down some random ass street in a neighborhood downtown I've never been to, there's no way I could possibly retrace my steps guys.

Also the damage isn't something like a smashed in door or something. I was making a right turn on a street crowded with parked cars down to the furthest possible parking space( probably the 4th of July crowd) and ran into the back left bumper on to where the left back wheel fender begins before I maneuvered the fuck back to the left away from the car. It was a quick brush, still fucked up and not excusable.

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10636373 -

If you can learn from this and actually have change come from it, then good deal.  I've dodged a few bullets that I'm glad I learned from.  We all have dumbshit we're glad we got away with.  :shrug:

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Cowgold]
    #10636745 -

so...have you drank since the incident?


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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #10636847 -

Nope dude, no alcohol since then. This is the longest period I've had no alch since in a long time. Don't have any cravens either. I work with my mom and she sends me on errands, getting behind the wheel yesterday was way more scary then even the possibility of drinking. Drinking hasn't even crossed my mind, well actually I've just reminisced on how I wouldn't be in a lot of the shit I'm in if it wasn't for getting stupid drunk.

I'm also thinking about the future and just being ok without drinking. I'm still young (just turned 24) and there is still time to change. Like the old saying goes been taking it one day at a time. Dusted out the old six string getting ready to practice again. Starting the gym up again, listening to new music, reading new things...all the things I used to do before I clouded my mind with booze.

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10636875 -

Called it.

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/10602935#10602935


--------------------
The Mad Shroomer said:
People are always promising the apocalypse. They never deliver. :frown:

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10636894 -

I'm glad to hear that you've stayed sober a few days, but what are you going to do when the pink cloud you're on fades to grey?

If I were trying to quit drinking (and I did for 3 1/2 years), I would try to surround myself with people who don't drink.


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #10636935 -

Hang out with Mormon's or Muslim's.


--------------------
The Mad Shroomer said:
People are always promising the apocalypse. They never deliver. :frown:

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #10636941 -

Wasteland said:
Called it.

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/10602935#10602935


Yea you did....

Swyfty Swyf said:
I'm glad to hear that you've stayed sober a few days, but what are you going to do when the pink cloud you're on fades to grey?

If I were trying to quit drinking (and I did for 3 1/2 years), I would try to surround myself with people who don't drink.


I left all of my toxic friends in the bay area. I have a couple of High School buddies from Orange County but they're stoners and I don't see them at all. I have no friends in San Diego that would tempt me to drink. I live with my family. I hang out with my cousin but he is an usher at a christian church, I actually went with him to churchthe Sunday after the incident cause I was just telling him how much I was grateful.

You say you quit for 3 1/2 years? do you drink now? I really don't want to think about a time frame, I just want to really reevaluate my priorities. I'm the kind of person who enjoys mental/physical stimulation of any kinds so I'm always going to want something...but for now I'll just channel it into things that aren't instantly gratifying like alcohol.

Edited by Drunken_Jester (07/07/09 04:36 PM)

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10637085 -

Yeah, when I was 24 I quit drinking and went to meetings.

I don't think I could have gotten sober without them.

I had grown up through my teens and early twenties getting fucked up, in and out of jail all the time.

I didn't know it was possible to be clean.

It was the best thing I ever did.


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:

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