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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10630888 -

Drunken_Jester said:
I am a useless drunk and this is something I've been fighting internally against. Usually I just drink myself at night to sleep without hurting anyone and I justify my abuse of alcohol. It's sad but it usually takes something like this to bitch slap some sense in to me.



the DUI didnt do it, maybe it's time you sought professional help

Quote:
Believe it or not (and don't care if you do) I fucking torture myself everyday internally for all the negative shit I've done. Which is part of the reason I drink a lot, to go to sleep and make it ok to live with myself. But fuck it, you're right I need to grow some balls and just live with it instead of hide like a pussy.


does it make you feel better to get dunk or does it just help
you not give a shit who's life you may fuck up other than your
own, you see to be in the cycle of self abuse, problem is it
usually take others with it... get professional help


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California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: doyoutrip]
    #10630891 -

He hasn't even taken a break yet it has only been a couple of days.....its not easy to stop drinking.


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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #10630937 -

Swyfty Swyf said:
OP, you sound like you are at least taking responsibility for your actions.



just the opposite, he's not admitted to his mom why her car is
fucked up, he hasnt offered to pay for the other guys car, he's
dodging his responsibilities and making more excuses

Quote:
A lot of folks are throwing stones at you here, but  maybe you should just give yourself a break.


he's been giving himself a break every night with a bottle, he
drinks to make himself feel better, dont you see the problem
there? "I feel bad about myself so I'll get drunk and do stupid
shit so I'll feel bad about myself so I'll get drunk and do
stupid shit so I'll feel bad about myself..."

Quote:
You did some irresponsible shit, but it could have been worse.


dont excuse it for him, he has a whole book of his own excuses
for being irresponsible, sure he hasnt killed anyone this time
but what's to say than now he has someone helping him excuse his
drinking he wont kill someone the next time, it's no better than
the mother of the serial rapist that says 'he's really a good
boy', no lady, he's not, he's a fucking rapist! and DJ is an
irresponsible drunk


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California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: TrancedShroom]
    #10630939 -

Yes it is. You stop the silf-pity and victimization, put the bottle down, join a program, find religion, and live a sober life.

Or continue drinking, destroy your health, damage others' property, hurt those you love, and die in a gutter.

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: TrancedShroom]
    #10630945 -

TrancedShroom said:
He hasn't even taken a break yet it has only been a couple of days.....its not easy to stop drinking.



it's as easy as rehab

or prison


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California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10630969 -

go to rehab


--------------------
"The soul has greater need of the ideal than of the real. It is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live."

If you want to get a hold of me, my email address is in my profile. Just click on my screen name. I got banned from using private messages cause I didn't follow the rules... :frown:

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10631132 -

:facepalm:

Seriously dude everything in your first post was completely self centered and just insanely the wrong way to be thinking about these colossal fuck ups. Yes you are lucky not to get caught, but i wish that cop would have arrested you and sent you to jail again. I know people like you, and that's the only thing that keeps them from killing themselves or others. If you continue the same path you are going down now you will end up dead. I just hope you don't kill someone else before that happens. Every time i hear about someone driving drunk all i can think of is my wife driving around town with the kids and some drunk guy could have killed them all. Then here you are telling your story of the drunk driver that really does seem to only care about himself.

I had a friend that drove drunk so much that it was no shock to everyone when she ran into a tree and almost died. She was in the hospital for 2 months fighting for her life. She keeps drinking despite being on probation, and she drives drunk still on a suspended license. She can't control herself, and i know the only thing that saves people that are this self destructive is serous professional help. Please seek it before the next bad something happens. Everything isn't about you, but this could be good for everyone around you as well as yourself. I see that you want to change and are willing to to stop drinking. Well the ONLY way your going to accomplish that is by getting help. I know people like you, and they really have a problem with alcohol. It controls them. They are really good people, but alcohol just destroys them.

If you want to stop drinking and man up then go get help. I know it seems excessive, but you really do have a problem that people can't deal with alone. Call someone to get help. Open your phone book to the government section and find a local number to get help. They will find you the right people to get ahold of to deal with this before something bad happens. You deserve to get in big trouble for what you did, and you at least should pay for your fuck ups.

Save your life, and possibly others around you. Seek Professional help. There is no shame in admitting you need help and then getting it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. the second step should be to seek help, not empty promises you tell yourself. If your REALLY are serious, then do something about it. Your not going to rein this one in alone. Your family will be supportive i bet, even if they are disappointed at first.


--------------------
~The Cultivators Motherload~

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama

Live long and prosper.


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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: DNKYD]
    #10631181 -

DNKYD said:
Yes it is. You stop the silf-pity and victimization, put the bottle down, join a program, find religion, and live a sober life :mushroom2::gethigh::sun:.

Or continue drinking, destroy your health, damage others' property, hurt those you love, and die in a gutter.



--------------------

Your Old Man's Trade List
My Checklist

Edited by AgingHippy (07/06/09 04:32 PM)

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: doyoutrip]
    #10631369 -

doyoutrip said:
Drunken_Jester said:
I used to subconsciously just want to do everything I possibly could to get fucked up. I mean a year ago this month I had a full time job shared an apartment with a roommate but I was also on a 2 year longs stretch with meth and booze. Got fired and moved back with the mom. I help here at our office at home, but I've just been drinking with no regard this whole year and Saturday was the pinnacle of how morally fucked I have made myself. If karma is real it will make it a really steep hill for me to climb to redemption and I'm just gonna take those steps one day at a time can't fret over the things I can't change and yes I feel bad for the guy (people) I've involved in my fucked up negativity.



Im with you brother. I used to drink a shit load until i finally ended up in jail a year ago after drinking too many jooses. at least your smart enough to take a step back and catch yourself before you fall to hard.



Rofl.  What was the charge? I feel like too many jooses is its own charge.

..

OP, I'm going to have to agree with Prisoner.  You need help.  FAST.


--------------------
Delicious Pizza

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10631464 -

I did the stupid DUI thing once, absolutely BLIND, I'm sure I was hitting shit (my car was undriveable the next morning :crazy:) cops confronted me back at my unit ~10 minutes after I got home (dozens of people calling emergency, saying someones is driving up gutters/footpaths) and tried to get a confession out of me, but didn't.

The consequences would have been astronomical.

Since then (2 years ago) I've drunk maybe 5 times all up and those have been literally 3-4 drinks over a entire night.

Anytime I drink now, even 1 beer, I give my keys to someone or hide them back at another location that I could never reach.

Terrible night, I'm such a responsible person with driving, I was drunk to the point where I lost all control.

Never again :megacrankey: drink driving leaves you with such a failure feeling :mad:

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Society]
    #10631486 -

Had 5 orange jooses + countless amounts of bowls/ blunts; ended the night with a felony something or another and a fat ass trespassing/ court fine. i actually ended up getting lucky and got it knocked down to a misdemeanor cause it was my first offense.

im kinda high so its not like i don't care, i just cant remember what the charge was :stoner:


--------------------
"Going about niiinneettyy
On the freeway choking
Ain't no mystery to the weed we smokin'"

"Started from weed, big smoke outs before you could exhale, blunt in your mouth"



:potleaf::getstoned::potleaf:

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: doyoutrip]
    #10631687 -

doyoutrip said:
Had 5 orange jooses + countless amounts of bowls/ blunts; ended the night with a felony something or another and a fat ass trespassing/ court fine. i actually ended up getting lucky and got it knocked down to a misdemeanor cause it was my first offense.

im kinda high so its not like i don't care, i just cant remember what the charge was :stoner:


Five fucking jooses?  I hit 4 and a half once and had heart palpitations and anxiety attacks for at least a week.  I'm assuming you were blacked out?


--------------------
Delicious Pizza

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Society]
    #10631872 -

i don't remember about that night till this day. I ended up losing my ipod video and phone... Haha anything past 3 jooses is asking for trouble :rolleyes:

Edited by doyoutrip (07/06/09 06:29 PM)

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10631946 -

Drunken_Jester said:
Believe it or not (and don't care if you do) I fucking torture myself everyday internally for all the negative shit I've done.


Guilt is a useless emotion.


--------------------


"This day is a lover..."

~Rumi

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Nunbuh_Chrubble]
    #10632290 -

Hey, fellow alcoholic here.

Yeah, it's tough. It isn't often recognized just what it is like to be addicted to alcohol on a phyiscal and mental level. It totally takes over one's life, much moreso than many other drugs, certainly more than tobacco, mj, etc. While rehab and the like are good ideas, sure, it's not usually that simple; many of us work pretty hard to hide the problem from a lot of people.

Still, taking the time to come out and state that you fucked up publicly if nothing else is a step in the right direction. It isn't really helpful to have a bunch of people state the obvoius by making attacks, but stating the problem and intention to have a break psuedo-publicly at least throws in SOME accountability.

In real life, AA and shit can really fuck a person up just as much as it helps them, too...

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: bosch]
    #10632612 -

Everything everyone's said is true. As far as professional help, AA hasn't been successful in the past. What's worked is that desire and help of fam which I have. I've kicked meth before and I'm not physically addicted to alcohol so I'm determined to just grow the fuck up and take control of myself. I'm sorry if the original posts sounds like I'm only thankful for myself or self centered...like I said I'm very grateful I didn't hurt anybody including myself!

And hopefully any member/lurker who is up to the same things can really just step back and rethink things. I want to learn without having to go to jail or forced AA classes. It's been something I've been putting in the back burner but now I can't ignore it.

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10633224 -

Good. Keep tryin hard man. It took alot to realize how fucked up things had gotten with me as well. I ended up kicking everything, then joining the marines. I stayed out of trouble there without even trying. I don't ever recommend that to anyone tho lol.


--------------------
~The Cultivators Motherload~

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama

Live long and prosper.


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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10633269 -

Drunken_Jester said:
As far as professional help, AA hasn't been successful in the past. What's worked is that desire and help of fam which I have.



we said professional help, not a bunch of fucking drunks swapping
sob stories, if family has helped in the past then why are you
still continuing to do this shit to them


--------------------
California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Brainiac]
    #10633420 -

Brainiac said:
Sorry man, I don't feel sorry for you..



Same.  I don't give a eff who it is if you get into any trouble drinking and driving its your fault everything that happens to you is deserved and you have to live with it.

But at least Jester isn't playing victim at all, and you are taking responsibility.  It just really irks me when you get the guys who think its not their fault at all when they get busted for drinking and driving.


--------------------
:peace::awebig::aum:

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Re: I'm one lucky son of a bitch (taking a break from boozin) [Re: Drunken_Jester]
    #10633787 -

you just have to quit drinking man,once you drink and drive and get away with it,you keep doing it until you get caught or worse

like thieving,you become brazen after awhile but you eventually and inevitably go down for it

as for handing yourself in for the damage....fuck that

if it makes you feel better send em some cash in the mail with a sorry note

depending on your mothers personality which only you know,try coming clean with her about the drinking and that you didnt say anything because you needed time to rethink your whole fucked up life and its spiralling downfall

she'll be pissed but i bet she'll be relieved and you'll fell better about yourself

or dont tell her anything and try to beat it yourself and repay her in discreet ways for the car damage

do you think they have a faint idea it was you anyway?

Edited by filthee (07/07/09 12:51 AM)

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