Ever got high in jail?

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Swyfty Swyf
Shrugsy Shrugs

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 7,113
Loc: North Alabama

Ever got high in jail?

#10125261 - 04/07/09 08:32 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

When I first had to do time, I did three months in a city jail, where offenders with no holds were allowed to work for the city cutting grass. I was on a crew with a cool ass black dude who sold a lot of coke when he was free, and therefore knew a shitload of people around town that owed him favors. As soon as we would get out of the truck in the morning he would run toward the road to spot people. Within five minutes, he'd see someone and throw his hands up in the air, and a bunch of times people would turn around and throw a couple blunts worth out. The driver was cool with us smoking for some reason. Every break he would drive us to a remote park so we could spark it up. At one time, we had over a half ounce in the city jail truck.

I had a buddy on another crew who used to keep Ativans. There was a guy on his crew they called Big Pocket, on account of the way he would take two packs of Bugler and compress it into the biggest turd-shape you could imagine (about 2" diameter ), wrap it in duct tape, and shove it up his ass to get it in the jail, where he would sell his doo-doo squares for two zoom-zooms apiece.

The last time I was locked up, I was in county work release. Before I went in, I had a job as a server/cocktailer in a local bar and grill. They must have needed money, because they let me keep the job. Apparently, it is rare to get a work-release job at an establishment with a liquor license in Alabama. To make matters better, I had worked at this place for two years, so I had plenty of pain pill connections to buffer my jail experience. I had it made.

My Monday through Friday schedule consisted of me leaving jail at 9 AM when I was not due at work until I was due at 11:00 AM for the lunch rush. Unbeknownst to the powers that be, I would get off at 2 or 3 PM and come back in at five and work until 9 PM. On Saturdays, I would pay my employer $2.13/hr for clocking me in, and I would usually get a motel room and chill with my girl.

When one is on work release, his check usually goes to the county, then the county gives him $25 a week or so to buy lunch. I guess I slipped through the system cracks, and my employer gave me my checks directly, which I never cashed and I kept the stubs. Like I mentioned, I only made $2.13/hr, because servers depend on tips. It was also printed on my check-stub the amount of credit card tips I received, but I cashed all that money out at the end of the night. Somehow, I ended up handling my own money for the duration of my work release. I knew they would eventually ask for the credit card tip money, so I had it. I also had a shitload of cash tip money, and I specifically asked all my regulars to tip me in cash.

Since we were never allowed to have more than $25, I was stuffing money in the walls of the resturaunt every night. On my last day, I had a feeling they were going to carefully go through my books, so I snuck the credit card tip and hourly money into the jail the night before in my asscrack. It was only around $1,200, since I had about $2,000 left back in the resturaunt (the rest had been spent as fast as I could spend it on fun things that I was also stuffing in the walls). You should have seen their eyes when they realized I had not been paying them all along and asked where the money was. I produced a roll of hundreds and other bills and paid them up to the dollar just past the exact amount of change I owed them and told them, "keep the change. Well, it's been real, but I'm gonna go catch my ride."

--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:

Edited by Swyfty Swyf (04/07/09 09:26 PM)

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