So after my first grow I decide it?s time to reap the rewards of a job well done. I?ve been psyching up for this for over a month. This will be my first trip and I have decided that I?m mentally strong enough to do this on my own. I pack a bag. Flashlight, binoculars, 1 liter bottle of kool-aid, iPod and headphones, and about 17 grams of fresh shrooms. So I grab my dog and take a walk around 11:00pm. There is this really cool trail through the woods just down the street. About a half mile through the woods and you pop out at a huge sod farm. It?s the only place near town that gets really dark and I want to see some stars so I think this will make a great first trip.
We get to the woods and my plan was as soon as I get in I?ll eat the shrooms and go to the sod field. Well as soon as we step foot in the woods we spook a deer and it bolts off through the darkness. It made me jump and my heart started racing so I decided to wait a while before I eat because I don?t want to flip out in the woods at night. The moon is out and is nearly full so I hardly need the flashlight that I brought but it?s good to have incase I have a hard time seeing the trail. So we are finally about ? of the way down the trail when I decide it?s time. My dog is a puppy so she is being a complete wuss in the woods in the dark. Anyway I munch em down fast and chase them with some kool-aid and start walking again.
We pop out at the sod field 10 minutes later and I?m not really feeling anything yet. So I find a good spot with some nice grass to the side of the field and sit down. The grass was wet so I emptied out my backpack and sat on it. I wished I would have brought a grass mat so I could lie down. We?re sitting there enjoying the stars and the brilliantly bright moon. I throw on the headphones and just wait. One problem the dog is having a hard time sitting still. She?s afraid of the dark apparently and keeps whining and trying to crawl in my lap. Normally I wouldn?t mind but her feet are wet from walking through the grass and I don?t want her in my lap. So I decide there is no way this is going to work so we should keep walking.
We walk part way around the sod field and I decide I should probably just try to get back to my place. It?s starting to kick in now. The music is amazing, I flip through a couple albums until I find one I haven?t heard in a while (Blink 182 self titled) so I get to the woods and start heading back. I feel amazing, these rushes keep coming over me, I can?t help but dance as I?m strolling through the woods. I love it so much and am overcome with happiness so I decide to take my time walking home. I come to a slight opening in the trail and look up at the moon. It is SO bright, impossibly bright, painfully bright. It hurts my eyes to look at it but I close my eyes mentally readjust and look back to it. I can see it now. Every minuscule detail of the surface is clear and bright. I can see my breath in the cool night air. I exhale toward the moon and see the cloud of vapor billow skyward. It is amazing. I feel as though I can make out the individual rays of sunlight reflecting off the moons surface and into my eyes. I HAVE to get out my binoculars! The dog is still anxious but she?s ok so I set down my bag and pull out my binoculars. WOW! Even more amazing. I can now clearly see every crater and mound on the surface. I?ve looked at the moon a million times before and never been able to see it this clearly. I have trouble holding the binoculars steady and wish that I had a tripod. So I recap the lenses and put them away and look back up. Now the moon looks to be on fire. There are these long whisps of light like an octopus? tentacles waving around with the music in my ears. I am fascinated that the moon is ?actually out there.?
I think to myself ?I need to get somewhere with some color!? so I grab my pack and start walking through the woods again jamming out to the music. I decide to call my brother and let him know what a good time I?m having but he doesn?t answer his phone. It was such a bummer, I wanted to talk to him so bad. Then I tried to turn the music back on by my iPod went retarded and reset itself. Mega bummer! So I get it restarted and look at the screen. The backlight is amazing and I see trails when I move it around. Then I notice that the battery is nearly dead. How could that be? I just charged it the other day. I warm it up in my hands and realize that it?s just cold. So I get the music going again and am feeling good again. ?no more interrupting the flow? I said to myself I decided that trying to call my brother was a bad idea because it interrupted the flow of the trip.
At one point I couldn?t find the point where my trail was supposed to branch off but I wasn?t worried I just kept looking and found it eventually. I hadn?t been using the flashlight because I could see everything clearly in the dark but when I lost my way I thought ?this is going to be trippy? and I turned it on. ?WOAH! It?s freaking daylight.? The effect was amazing I could go from night to day with the push of a button. I played with this phenomenon as I went.
At one point I startled a herd of deer. I hit the pause button and listened. The dog was alert and looking through the woods. I had to calm her down because she was getting scared again I thought it was awesome. I listened to them bound away and decided to point the flashlight to see if I could see their eyes. Nope nothing. Oh well pushed play and kept rolling forward.
I felt as though I could feel my soul crying to get back to nature. I kept thinking that humans have cut themselves off from mother nature. We used to be animals in the wild but now we are separate. I was thinking how badly my soul and indeed the whole of the human spirit yearns to have mother nature take us back into her arms. It was such a powerful feeling that it made me sad. I felt as if the planet was one large entity with all things living together and we, as humans, have ostracized ourselves from our ?family? in nature. I came out of the woods behind an apartment complex and looked up. It was ugly to me. ?LOOK WHAT WE?VE DONE!? I cried out loud. I fell to my knees and wept. The song in my ears was ?Always? by blink 182.
?I've been here before a few times
and I'm quite aware we're dying
and your hands, they shake the goodbyes
and I'll take you back if you have me
So here I am, I'm trying
so here I am, are you ready?
come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you, always
kiss you, taste you, all night, always?
I wanted mother nature to take me into her arms and hold me tightly. When I was done sobbing I got up, dried my eyes and stepped into the parking lot. The song was now ?All of This?
With all of this I know now
everything inside of my head
it all just goes to show how
nothing I know changes me at all
again I wait for this to change instead
to tear the world in two
another night with her
but I'm always wanting you
With all of this I feel now
everything inside of my heart
it all just seems to be how
nothing I feel pulls at me at all
again I wait for this to pull apart
to break my time in two
another night with her
but I'm always wanting you
There was still a short walk back to my place. I was thinking that I had just gone through the climax of my trip. My ego was out in the woods somewhere and I was going to head home. There is a small manmade pond in this apartment complex that I have to walk around. The water was amazing a bunch of ducks followed me in the water as I walked around the pond. I stopped and stood watching them circle the water in front of me. I found a bench and sat down looking at all the lights. I liked the color. It was so vivid and looked really cool. I finally got up after what felt like hours and walked home. I got inside and went into my room. I had a couple of messages on my computer so I sat down. I couldn?t believe how amazing the colors were on my monitor. My brother sent me a message but he was away. I checked his away message to see one of my favorite Carlos Castaneda quotes.
?We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same. Awesome weekend!?
MY BROTHER IS THE COOLEST PERSON IN THE WORLD! I just kept thinking what a cool fucking person my brother is. I wanted to talk to him about what I had experienced but I was sure he was asleep. So I just type ?dude?, enter?. ?what?s up man?? he replies. I knew he wouldn?t let me down! I?m trying to type as fast as I can to tell him I?m tripping balls and it?s the coolest thing. He?s like ?yeah dude I?m so jealous. We need to plan a trip up north.? ?For sure!?
Then the shit hit the fan. He says ?my friend says it?s not a good thing to do very often cause it gets kinda weird if you do it too much.? I?m like ?yeah dude this is something to be respected and done rarely.? Just when he said ?it gets kinda weird? it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I tried to shake it off and he says ?halo?? fucking sweet I love playing halo with my brother and I knew he would be up for it so we both sign on xbox live and start a game. The colors are amazing but it is making me feel pretty uncomfortable for some reason. The words ?it gets kinda weird? kept ringing through my head. I looked up at the clock and realized I was only about 2 and a half hours into this experience and was nowhere near finished. How could that be? I was sure that several hours had passed. I wished it would have ended on the walk home. Everything till there had been like a fucking dream but now I?m sitting here just feeling really uncomfortable ?it gets kinda weird? ?it gets kinda weird? ?it gets kinda weird? ?it gets kinda weird? ?it gets kinda weird? over and over again. I realize that I?m starting to freak out so after a couple games I tell him I?m going to go watch some tv and try to get to bed.
I get a glass of water and down it. I lay on the couch and try to watch some tv but I just am spinning into a world of unknown. Vivid visuals are in my head and I?m losing touch with reality. ?it?s getting kind of weird? I thought. Oh jesus! I don?t really remember much else but I know that I was somewhere where I didn?t want to be. Worrying about everything. Every thought I had felt like a life or death issue. I was trying to pull myself out by focusing on things that made me feel good but I kept slipping into bad thoughts. Drifting in and out of reality. I tried watching tv, listening to music, going to the bathroom, playing with the dog. I found playing with the dog put me most at ease but she was tired and didn?t want to play for very long. I kept slipping in and out laying on the floor, laying on the couch sitting at my desk, moving from room to room. Then I finally crawled into bed but I couldn?t sleep. Fortunately I am good at sleeping on command so with a little concentration I was able to fall asleep. I got up once about an hour later to go to the bathroom again and I was still tripping pretty hard. I got back to bed and had to work my ass off to get back to sleep.
I woke up this morning and was extremely grateful that my sanity had returned. I felt completely normal and I went in my room.
There on my chair was a large piece of cardboard and written across it in big red capitol letters was one underlined word. ?RESPECT?
I don?t remember doing it but it is definitely my handwriting. These wondrous organisms have my full and complete respect. They may be small but I have learned that they are much more powerful than I am.
edited for easier reading
--------------------
Stay Blue!
 
Edited by JackTackle (10/21/05 12:42 AM)
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
JackTackle 
AngeloWish 
Edit 
Reply 
Greetings from Mexico.
). Mad idea to take your dog with you, I rekon playing with a pet surely gives you good vibes. 
SlapnutRob
1 2 all )
Hustla
cStyle
pharmacopeia
Redstorm
poke smot!