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Stuck in a loop
    #9659902 -

I'm in this horrible loop.  The loop that everyones in but we are all afraid to admit it.  Maybe some of us are not, I dunno cuz I'm in it.

By loop I mean almost unconscious actions/decisions that control our daily thought activity and actions.

Theres some very weird shit going on in my loop.  I don't really want explain it.  Maybe thats because I don't want to face it.

I don't expect answers here, I dunno what I expect.  Maybe someone can relate.  Maybe someone knows a way out.  My ways out are not working.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going emo.  I've recognized this loop and know it has to change but it seems so fucking hard yet I know it can be so easy...

I'll try and explain.  Theres a pressure and I'm only free from it when I'm completely alone.  I don't want/like being alone but when I'm with other people the loop becomes the fact that other people are there.

Sometimes thats cool relaxed, enjoyable.  Sometimes theres the pressure, muscles tighten.  Mind goes as rapid as the heartbeat...

I don't want to admit my weakness, it could be used against me but I just told you but I haven't let go.

I want to let go.

I'm fucked up. Not by drugs, I'm just fucked up.  I don't want to be this way.

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: Ego Death]
    #9659925 -

you sound like a gothic novel. :stoned:

you should write a book, i've seen you post like this before.


--------------------
If you always do what you always did you always get what you always got.

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: Ego Death]
    #9660070 -

I have had similar desribed
"Mental Knots: in the past,
and there are still a couple
kinks in the relatively straight rope
that is me (doesn't everyone have
their kinks?)

sounds like a sort of anxiety and
phobia, which I have both. Supression
is not the key, but a change of direction,
and associative thinking and building new
attachments.

It's complex sometimes, however a gentle
approach to untieing the knot will reward
you with flexibility on each end.

If you feel like chatting with an
admitted weirdo, shoot me a PM, Ego Death.


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: grymmtymm]
    #9660079 -

:crazy: Thanks but

Text communication is so old, I need telepathy.

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: Ego Death]
    #9660098 -

Well, if words can't work it out, then action might.

But words describe action!

Something can be done or said without resorting
to magic, because magic is the words and actions.

Telepathy is for the Lazy Jaws.

Bite!


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #9660108 -

That was almost beautiful.

It is certainly anxiety phobia based.

New attachments.  Yes, I must build them.  The old ones come back so fast though....

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: Ego Death]
    #9660109 -

I'm the same way.  I love going out and being around people (when I'm alone) but when I'm out I think "what the fuck am I doing?". 

I think I need new friends, or just more people I feel comfortable around.  It's the anxiety of having to meet new people that makes me "unhappy". 

I tend to be comfortable around the familiar but I want nothing more than to meet new people, and meeting new people isn't familiar to me.  That's kind of why I force myself to go out sometimes.  The bigger the chance to meet new people the bigger chance I will meet some one new, thus becoming more familiar with social networking.  Which is what I've boiled my problem down too, gaining social networking skills.

Sadly when I'm out I tend to not force myself into uncomfortable situations for a lesson.  I don't think its right to force someone I don't know into a uncomfortable conversation with some strange person. 

I need to stop caring about other people so much.


--------------------

Customize your Shroomery experience!
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: Idiot]
    #9660139 -

Why do we over-think to the point of hampering ourselves :sad:

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: Ego Death]
    #9660143 -

Well that was a sentence form of a Hand Grenade
so I got lucky like a horse's shoe so
Almost is awesome.

Seriously, I will tell you my phobia
all about it privately

It ain't no
"I'm scared of rats" whiny girl bullshit.
Real Deal phobia and
it continually sucks my balls day and night
So I gotta try to make a way to make it
feel good


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #9660212 -

OK, tell me yours, I'm interested.

PM if you want.

I'm going to bed now though.  Sleep shall be my freedom.

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: Idiot]
    #9660227 -

Maybe you need a lifestyle change, hook up with some more layed back people possibly. Can you transplant yourself somewhere else? I love my country lifestyle. I used to live in the city and I was almost always in a state of panic. Anxiety never goes away but it can be controlled. Find the root cause and determine a course of action.

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. [Re: Ego Death]
    #9660232 -

.

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Re: Stuck in a loop [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #9660749 -

<param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="
type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>


--------------------
http://bunkpolice.com/basic-test-kit/
Vienna Declaration
Salvia Divinorum The Docudrahma

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