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Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics
    #9650830 -

Hey whats up everyone, wanted to stop in and see what some of you thought of these lyrics i am writing

I play the Guitar and write the lyrics and sing them in the band that i am in, the guys that i play music with like my lyrics but of course they are my friends (one is my brother) and what are they gonna say "nahh your lyrics fuckin suck man, go shoot yourself" haha

So anyway these are some lyrics i am not quite done with yet, i will probably write the rest of them when i start puting music to them

This song is called 'The Wiseman and The Fool':

The wiseman looks to the sky
to see if there's a storm he needs to outrun
the fool he just wait's
for the rain to come

the wiseman finds the best
way to do what needs to be done
the fool, he just sit's back
and soaks up the sun

the fools harts get harder
as they lust for power
maybe you don't like the gardener
but you gotta love those flowers

the wiseman builds his home
of the hardest stones he can find
the fool he set's his down
upon the shoreline

when the storm comes
the fool is washed away
but the wiseman's dry in his home
and there he shall stay

'till the end of his days
'till the light goes away
'till the sun just won't stay
'till he is all alone
'till he can't find his way home

the fools rot from the inside out
as they go about there evil deeds
they forgot what it was all about
and they sinks to there weak knees

one day we will all reach
the end of our games
both the wisemen
and the fools the same.


my favorite song writers are Robert Hunter (lyrist for the Grateful Dead) and Bob Dylan


peace
Do you like these lyrics?
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from 01/21/09 08:55 AM until the end of time
You must vote before you can view the results of this poll



--------------------
If i knew the way i would take you home

"I wasnt talking to you fool, read the fucking post.  I dont need your stupid link, I know how to smoke crack"

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: box of rain]
    #9650858 -

change rain to storm

farmers arent fools theyre greedy fuckers,not to offend tho not to offend

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: filthee]
    #9650928 -

filthee said:
farmers arent fools theyre greedy fuckers


PM me your address as intend to plant some greedy in your butt!!!


:smirk:


--------------------
California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9650954 -

When did i say anthing about farmers?


--------------------
If i knew the way i would take you home

"I wasnt talking to you fool, read the fucking post.  I dont need your stupid link, I know how to smoke crack"

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9650956 -

Seriously, WTF? How are farmers greedy? Some of the most honerable people I have ever known where the farmers I grew up around in Kentucky.


To the OP: You dont need to be so rigid with the format of your song, everything doesnt need to rhyme.

One of my favorite songs is Willie Nelsons Stardust

Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely nights dreaming of a song
The melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you
When our love was new
And each kiss an inspiration
But that was long ago
And Now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song

Beside a garden wall
When stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells his fairy tale
A paradise where roses bloom
Though I dream in vain
In my heart there always will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain

Instrumental

Though I dream in vain
In my heart there always will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain

Instrumental

Though I dream in vain
In my heart there always will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain



--------------------
The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9650966 -

:lol:
nothing wrong with greed these days,its a virtue:eek:

nah i dont mean US armers man our farmers here are greedy whining bastards that cry for subsidies every year for drought relief but you could hear a pin drop when they dont need relief and the prices stay the same as pre drought prices for oranges and bananas like taxes!

the only time we get a fair price for bananas is when they frost damaged and we think thats a bargain now!

tomatos are a luxory item here for something that grows like a weed

plus they pay back foriegn packers peanuts out of their million dollar profits,screw paying us a  fair wage to pick fruit we're the suckers that buy em.....

our queensland farmers up north dammed rivers leading into nsw a while back so we taught them how to play league as punishment


come to think of it our farmers are always struggling against your farmers in trade agreements cause our meats better and the US wont import it because it is better hahahaha

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: blewmeanie]
    #9650986 -

blewmeanie said:
Seriously, WTF? How are farmers greedy?


seriously, I've spent more than $150k to stay afloat for the last 4
years, havent seen the first nickel in income from this place yet,
that doesnt include the price of the land, the equipment or any of
those goodies, just seed, trees and lots of work


--------------------
California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9651010 -

:lol:

come on every fucker out there is greedy lmao

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9651015 -

Prisoner#1 said:
blewmeanie said:
Seriously, WTF? How are farmers greedy?


seriously, I've spent more than $150k to stay afloat for the last 4
years, haven't seen the first nickel in income from this place yet,
that doesn't include the price of the land, the equipment or any of
those goodies, just seed, trees and lots of work


I bet you love every second of it though.

The happiest times of my life were spent working on the farms of my grandfather, and his friends. I didn't make much money (none when it was my grandfather), and I came home completely exhausted every night, but I absolutely loved every second of it.....well almost every second, letting a big ass Limousine bull chase after me just so that we could get him from field to another was never a good time.:nonono:


--------------------
The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9651033 -

yeah thats your land and your toiling it

here we have settler descendant greedy people whose families have always owned the prime land and theyre all subsidised and fuck they cry loud when the profits run short other business go into recievership when they go under but farmers seem to have a blank cheque when they gamble with the weather like every other 'gardener'

lets talk about how farmers will slaughter lambs and sheep in drought rather than give em away shall we?

no water no profit fuck the people im greedy lol

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: filthee]
    #9651440 -

blewmeanie said:
I bet you love every second of it though.


I'm not complaining... much :smirk:


filthee said:
theyre all subsidised and fuck they cry loud when the profits run short other business go into recievership when they go under but farmers seem to have a blank cheque when they gamble with the weather like every other 'gardener'


it's no different here, the more you have the more you;ll get in
subsidies, unfortunately for many of the subsidies you have to
put a mortgage on your place to invest in more junk you dont
need in order to get the money, you cant use that money to pay
for the junk or the mortgage and you run the risk of bigger
losses in both terms of crops and your land


Quote:
lets talk about how farmers will slaughter lambs and sheep in drought rather than give em away shall we?
no water no profit fuck the people im greedy lol


I understand where they're coming from, you can get money from
lamb when you slaughter them young, you earn more if it's
feasible to keep them alive, because you have the mutton as well
as the wool, unfortunately drought affects everyone, if the give
the lambs away where are the new owners going to get hay, grain
and water, the same drought has the larger ranchers buying up
all they can to keep the breeding stock alive

we;ve had 3 years of drought, one in which I saw no rain at all
during the summer, 2 where there were just a few days early in
the season, last year I installed irrigation to combat the
drought, I only put in enough to ensure that I have a seed crop
for the year to follow if there's a drought


--------------------
California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9651650 -

Quote:
maybe you don't like the gardener
but you gotta love those flowers


like this line a lot


--------------------
:musicnote:Music doesn't stop at the ears when it begins at the heart.:musicnote:


:psychsplit:"Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind."
            -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:psychsplit:

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: boxcarguy07]
    #9653515 -

thanks


--------------------
If i knew the way i would take you home

"I wasnt talking to you fool, read the fucking post.  I dont need your stupid link, I know how to smoke crack"

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: boxcarguy07]
    #9653741 -

boxcarguy07 said:
Quote:
maybe you don't like the gardener
but you gotta love those flowers


like this line a lot



i was thinking the same thing.


--------------------
I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.


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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: igwna]
    #9654353 -

Ehh I don't really like em.

These are good lyrics :

I feel much stronger
Everyday when I'm trying to be like this
I'm getting stronger
Feed me energy

I will start the day now
With a fire that swallows them all
The day will start now
With annihilation

I am a war machine
Death and destruction I breed
I'll give you war with many faces
Some say I terminate
I'm here to liberate
This is what you all been waiting for

Claustrophobic human race
Don't know how to hate
Not even if they all live in fear
It may be false or real
They believe what they see
Well I can show you all the facts

Liberate, terminate, annihilate
It's all the same to me

Claustrophobic human race
Don't know how to hate
Not even if they all live in fear
I am a war machine
Death and destruction I breed
This is what you all been waiting for


Btw Willy Nelson? HAHAHA fucken :redneck:


--------------------
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth.





4-Methyl-Aminorex

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: hpi]
    #9654371 -

maybe you don't like the gardener
but you gotta love those flowers

Wonderful line :heart:


--------------------
With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes

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Re: Hey could i get some feedback on these song lyrics [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9654509 -

i know man its an old system and i was just having laugh

i know farmers work hard and have to take risks and damn we wouldnt be here without them but they hate us city folk too you know!

if he added that line about farmers though itd sell :lol:

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